7
"Punters who were having a quiet drink at their local were left dumbstruck when a bull came crashing into the bar. The rampaging farm animal sent bar stools flying, wrecked a pool table and butted holes into the walls after it escaped from a nearby cattle auction. As a final assault on the bar, the beast then urinated on the floor."
Having spent a good amount of time in Ireland, I should point out for clarity's sake that "bull" is Irish for "Scotsman."
@Mr. B Damn, I wanted to make a Braveheart joke.
@riggssm IT'S MY ISLAND!
"A smoker was forced to flee during the incident after the bull barged him out the way and several drinkers were also charged, but nobody was hurt."
Balk wouldn't have fled.
Weak.
Were they drinking Schlitz Malt Liquor?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKeiB2XWTeM
This is the setup to my favorite joke! Ahem: A bull charges into a bar. Tens of thousands of pounds of damage is caused, and the bartender's insurance doesn't cover it. He is forced out of business by the expenses and lawsuits, and becomes destitute and homeless. While many expect him to become a wandering drunk, like so many Irishmen, he instead panhandles, telling his sad story, begging anyone to loan him the money to start a new pub. "This time I'll be sure to get bull insurance!" he raves, and passersby mistake his tragedy for alcoholism and step around him. Eventually he realizes that five years have passed without anyone looking him in the eyes or speaking to him in anything other than a scornful shout, and he throws himself under the wheels of a bus, dashing the last hopes of small business ownership from his brain by force.
The bull is quietly killed, because once a bull has tasted liquor it will never be peaceable again.
At least it wasn't a china shop.