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Jews: Love 'em or hate 'em, you have to admit they have some great holidays, i.e. they fall on days of the year that most people don't normally get off. So go tell your boss that you've got to leave early today to get home before sundown for Rosh Hashanah (pronounced: "rosh ha-sha-nah"). If your boss starts asking questions, just mutter something about "Jewish New Year" or "apples and honey" while idly fingering your imaginary payos; it works every time! Happy New Year, Jews, and Happy Fake New Year, Fake Jews. May God bless us, every one.
I left work early at 230 and have been home websurfing ever since.
If you don't know what payos are, just idly finger any sort of imaginary object; there's an excellent chance you'll get to go home early anyway.
While I am 100% A-OK with this attempt at humor, i thought i'd point out that having holidays on days that everyone doesn't get off means that most jewish people are penalized for not belonging to the dominant religion. We're forced to use up vacation days in order to celebrate holidays, while we sit bored at home with no family events and or good tv to watch every christmas and easter, holidays we do not celebrate and would totally go to work for. It's legacy systemic racism! Yay!
@deanna Half of me strongly agrees with this! The other half is pissed off that no one gets Columbus Day as a holiday anymore.
@deanna Also, this year, Yom Kippur is not just a Saturday, but the Saturday the Mekons come to New York. So I'm totally reamed, in the non Neal Stephenson way.
But being “influencers” led to nothing but egomania.
ok which one of you posted "Rush Hashanah" and deleted it.
“The core audience is hyper-empowered, and they speak in your comments. It’s frankly terrifying to push through a change these days. You will have this collective scream of ‘Why wasn’t I consulted?’”
I'm splitting early to make brie & apple tarts and honey roasted nuts because I am apparently a master of making WASPy Jew food?
where -are- all the potatoe latkes.
@jolie That sounds amazing! I'm making my first honey cake– it involves whiskey, black tea, and fresh orange juice. I don't think I'm going to cook the apples, though.
I do loves me some Jews. Happy new year guys!
Dear Sexy Semitic Gentlemen:
Alls I'm saying is that if you want to piss off your mothers? I'M RIGHT HERE.
My dad's a nonobservant Jew, my mom's a shiksa (they are no longer married). I called my dad one day from work (someplace I didn't want to be at that particular moment), inquiring, "So what's the deal with leaving early for Rosh Hashanah? How does that work?" He wasn't helpful…
Also, my sister maintains that, as a half-Jew, she should be permitted to take half the day off for all Jewish holidays.
I celebrate any reason for challah French toast.
New years is the worst holiday in every religion.
I could take time off, but I need to save my vacation days for a long Halloween weekend.
Halloween is, you see, the highest holiday in the gay liturgical year.
Also an option (and one I used): pretending to be a good Jew and leaving work early.
Where's the tag for Jews News You Can Use?