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From the Dept. of Half Measures: "British health officials said Thursday that they would lift a ban on gay men donating blood, as long as their last sexual contact with another man was more than a year earlier." Who would want your sad blood anyway, homo that can't get any? I bet the line's out the door at the blood bank. "Oh yeah, hi everyone, no one will get gay with me, but at least I can help some hemophiliac children."
Why does this have to take such an offensive tone? Keep your homophobic crap to yourself.
And yes, I know you're being sarcastic, but positive steps should be regarded as such.
@tentativelyfrank@twitter Oh dear
@boyofdestiny yeah. face, meet palm
@Tyrantanic SORRY LADY.
@tentativelyfrank@twitter WE LANDED ON THE MOON!
"The Agency followed up to add "Also: No Fatties."
Canada and the United States prohibit gay men from donating blood.
What??
@johnpseudonym Haha, yes! Outside my movie theater, there's a blood mobile, and EVERY WEEKEND they're like "free movie tickets if you give blood" and I'm like "I'M A FAGGOT, SORRY," and then they feel really bad. (To be fair, the blood bank people HATE this policy.)
@johnpseudonym Yep. For a while I was banned because I'd traveled to sub-Saharan Africa within a 5-year period (or some other comparably ridiculous timeframe). I was not raped by any people or Outbreak monkeys while I was there, nor did I shoot up any drugs. But I guess it's not worth just testing the blood to make sure it won't infect people with AIDS, and instead they'll trust what I say on my little form!
@HeyThatsMyBike Sounds like a really dull trip.
@Choire Sicha The Outbreak monkey rejection was definitely hurtful.
@Choire Sicha The reason I stopped donating blood 20 years ago – after my first time – was that the old lady who took mine stabbed me through the vein. I filled the bag very quickly, then my arm (which was swollen for 3 weeks thereafter).
Yeah, I couldn't believe this. For one thing it implies they don't really, ya know, test blood or anything but instead just rely on outdated and insulting "risk factors." And this just a couple weeks after discovering I live in a country where you can buy hover-mowers. Which is it, UK? 31st Century or 1981?
@My Number Is My Address : HOLY MOTHERF… how did I manage to remain unaware of the existence of hover mowers???!! I don't even have a yard and I want one immediately. You, Internet commenter, have just made my entire WEEKEND.
@My Number Is My Address I thought they actually did both (testing AND discriminating against the gays, I mean). But the logic, insofar as I understand it, is that tests sometimes have false negatives, so to reduce the risk to the blood-receiving public, they're maintaining this strict straight-only policy. Yeah, it's pretty dumb.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose I know! I've lived here for four years and only just moved to a place with a yard so I was out of the lawncare loop. Then, one day, there I was at Home Depot (or whatever they call it) and there it was, the Flymo. LESS THAN 100 BUCKS! TO LIVE IN THE FUTURE!
seanp: I guess I'm glad they're testing but the numbers just can't be justified (not that you said they did); I'm not gay but I sure am a false negative.
@My Number Is My Address: With this technology, can hoverbikes be far behind?!
@My Number Is My Address My understanding is that they do test, but that it takes some period of time (like six months to a year) post-infection for the body to develop sufficient antibodies to be detected, which is the rationale for making gay men wait twelve months after their last sexual encounter: if they did get infected during that encounter, by twelve months, the tests will detect it. (Of course, the rationale is premised on some pretty heavy-duty discriminatory bullshit, but that's another story.)
I don't want to donate blood so much as sell a bit.
@SidAndFinancy Have you tried pawning splooge?
@BadUncle Everyone knows the real money is in bull semen.
@boyofdestiny: On the Internet, nobody knows you're not a bull.
Just gave blood a week ago, and they (well, the computerized questionaire) asked me about 10 times if I ever had same sex contact. What got me, is that it asked if I had taken heroin in the last 5 years, but had same sex contact with a man since 1977. Another weird thing, it specified same sex contact as "man and man," so I guess even blood banks may hate gays, but are still cool with lesbians.
@JoshUng Other blood donating weirdnesses: they sweat the load over malaria. While in the Navy, I traveled in a malaria-ridden area and had to take prophylaxis. So afterwords when I went to give blood, they ask if I've been through a malarious area. If so: 6 months deferment. Then they ask if I was on prophylaxis for malaria. If so: 3 years deferment. What the hell? Sounds like the cure is worse than the disease.
@JoshUng Oh, and my wife lived in Europe for a few years – lifetime deferment due to mad cow. Which makes for really great opportunities to poke fun at her.
@SeanP I thought the mad cow thing was over (I mean the ban for having lived there then). My favorite blood libel is that in US (and probably other places) won't let you donate if you have haemochromatosis, which is a blood disorder but a non-communicable one that leaves the blood perfectly suitable for donation.
@JoshUng The lesbians really are god's chosen people when it comes to the AIDS. Maybe other stuff too, but definitely the AIDS.
@SeanP: And if you break into "In the Navy," you're right out.
@My Number Is My Address That is sadly ironic, given that the treatment for hemochromatosis is bloodletting – they need to give away their blood! I don't know the details, though – maybe there's some health consequence to receiving donated blood with too much iron in it?
@My Number Is My Address Just did a little googling out of curiosity, and this is apparently the reason: "Hemochromatosis patients are treated with periodic phlebotomies or "blood letting" to remove excess iron from their body. Because these patients benefit medically and financially by giving blood (they don't have to pay for phlebotomy), there has been concern that they might donate despite having infectious disease risk factors and that their blood might be less safe. As a result, FDA regulations have not promoted blood donation from hemochromatosis patients."
That is some seriously bad reaching there. Good lord.
@My Number Is My Address Nope, the mad cow rule is still in place, I can't give blood because of that either…..
@My Number Is My Address – This one time I went to the doctor after some bloodwork and he's hmmming over my chart and says "It appears you have Gilbert's Syndrome." And I'm all HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT AM I GOING TO DIE, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!? and he responds with "Oh, nothing really. It's possible the whites of your eyes might yellow a bit."
@major disaster: Good lord, that is the most circuitous reach I've ever heard. Are you sure it isn't just because they're Irish?
@Ham-Snad: Lucky you. With Gilbert and Sullivan Syndrome you wouldn't be able to donate.
@SeanP hey! me too!
Thank you for a MUCH NEEDED belly laugh.
Is there a policy on gay kidneys?
@NotAndersonCooper: I like to flambé them in cognac, but that's more a preference than a policy.
Wait, if gays can't donate, where do they go when they need blood?
@Clarence Rosario: matzoh.
@HiredGoons Lesbians?
This week, on a special episode of House ….
"I'm not gay!, See, I gave blood." is a nice way to deny being gay without sounding (as) homophobic (It's not homophobic if it may save a life, right?) Don't take that away from us!