Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Harvard Student Takes Off Harvard T-Shirt When Leaving Campus

"If I know I will be leaving campus during the day, I almost always put my Harvard t-shirt back in the drawer and pick something more unidentifiable. If it slips my mind and I find myself in Central Square with 'Harvard' emblazoned across my chest, I suddenly become self-conscious."
Oh, honey.

78 Comments / Post A Comment

flossy (#1,402)

"It's cool though, I keep a stash of 'normal' clothes in my Escalade in case of emergencies."

We have a reputation for exhibiting many qualities: extreme intelligence, nerdiness, socially awkward behavior, arrogance, and snootiness. It is not a coincidence that only one quality on this list is complimentary.

I notice that "self-awareness" didn't make the cut.

@Clarence Rosario: The Snootiness exhibit at MFA is excellent!

deepomega (#1,720)

Yeah but does she also remove the Harvard-installed neuroinhibitor that they use to keep students from gaining too much sentience?

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I thought this was going in the "I don't wear my Harvard t-shirt because I don't want people thinking I'm a tourist" direction. They sell those things everywhere!

I still wear my Harvard t-shirt that I got when I visited in high school. I didn't go there. I didn't even take a tour!

Bittersweet (#765)

@boyofdestiny: Just went to the Coop the other day and bought my friend in Delaware a sweatshirt. Neither of us went there.

As I walked back through the square to get to my car a black-clad group was doing an ironic dance a la "Praise You." It made me walk faster.

NFK (#8,747)

"If one is aware that doing something, as innocent as its intention may be, will likely cause a negative misunderstanding, refraining from that action is both wise and thoughtful."

Is this awkward writing style celebrated on their campus, or am I just too dense to appreciate it?

@NFK: It's Harvard's signature brand of plagiarism.

@NFK Would the author include sitting at whites-only lunch counters among these "actions"?

unladylike (#1,926)

@NFK It's actually beaten into you during a semester-long nightmare called "expository writing" and it takes FOR-FUCKING-EVER to purge from your system.

Now I'm concerned this comment is the commentor's equivalent of wearing my Harvard shirt off campus. AWKWARD.

@NFK The fun thing about these Harvard threads is that no one can provide insider knowledge about Harvard, however humbly, without performing the commenter's equivalent of wearing one's Harvard shirt off campus.

roboloki (#1,724)

perhaps it could be called "suppository writing".

SeanP (#4,058)

@unladylike Do they also force you to use totally unnecessary Latin terms when there are perfectly good English alternatives? No doubt it's a character flaw on my part, but I find Yglesias almost impossible to read because of his insistence on using "qua" instead of "as" (Then there's the constant typos, but that's another story).

WaityKatie (#79,377)

"Now your acquaintance knows you were trying to conceal that you go to Harvard, and will assume this is because you didn’t want to hurt his or her simple feelings about being so much stupider than you."

Is "stupider" a word now? How can those of us who did not attend an elite undergraduate institution ever be sure??

@WaityKatie : It's the well-placed faux-error, kind of like when Bugs Bunny says "ain't".

WaityKatie (#79,377)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose Bugs went to Harvard? He seems more like a Dartmouth man to me. (I have no idea what that means.)

@WaityKatie : Me neither, but it does have the ring of truth.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Speaking of H-bombs, whatever happened to H-Bomb, Harvard's sex magazine? It doesn't appear as if they've published in a while.

standardStaple (#14,484)

Personally, I took my Harvard t-shirt off whenever I left campus simply because of my incredible physique.

I suspect Wyatt needs to spend more time at the Hemenway Gym, and less time hanging out at the Crimson.

saythatscool (#101)

I went through Harvard. Granted it was in the back of a squad car but a school official was involved.

Considering I haven't seen this editorial picked up anywhere else, I'm guessing you spend time on a college newspaper's website just to make fun of its freshman writers. In which case, "Oh, honey."

NFK (#8,747)

@just this guyyouknow So, did you leave your shirt at Winthrop House?

@just this guyyouknow: Welcome first time commenter, and thanks for having gone to the trouble to register so you can defend freshman writers. So maybe you're not familiar with our beloved Choire Sicha*. The fact is that Choire is an au courant, renaissance kind of guy, who would probably be spending time on a college newspaper's website to keep up to date with what the Young People are doing when they're not coning. Also he salivates when he sees the word "T-shirt". Thank you.

*pronounced "Cherry Soda".

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@just this guyyouknow Technically, a member of the class of 2014 would be a sophomore.

@SarahHeartburn : Just here to point out that 81,500 commenters have registered between you and @just this guyyouknow. You're bridging the generation gap, one commenter at a time! (alternate take : oooooooold)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose: Oh mygodmygod he called me oooooold like that is soooooooo. Take a flying fuck at the moon and kiss my ass when you get back. Yeah, I'm old and I'm going to bridge your fucking face with my gnarled yet deadly arthritic fingers as soon as I can get my teeth in if I can remember where I left them.

@SarahHeartburn : Is "commenter years" like "dog years"? Just checking.

Also, researching proxies for multiple comment thumbs-ups.

@just this guyyouknow Do… the college newspapers not want to be read? Because I can stop! I love them, is the thing.

gfrblxt (#11,113)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose As #11,113, I just have one question: what happened to everyone from about, say, 20000 to 78000 or so? Anyone?

zidaane (#373)

@gfrblxt It's like that time I was married.

sventurata (#4,205)

@just this guyyouknow They changed browsers, lost their passwords, forgot which dummy email address they used to sign-in (wasn't it once username-password?), reasoned that they were saving time by avoiding Internet debates, and moved on. Until now…

Heh. And then 10% were probably spammers. (Although weirdly the spam is made by a relatively small group of people; our blacklist grows really slowly.) Maybe 5% then!

WaityKatie (#79,377)

And, also: "This tactless Harvard custom needs to stop. If you are speaking to anyone but the most disinterested conversation partner, you will be questioned further until the truth finally comes out: “I go to Harvard.”

"Disinterested" means impartial. I believe the word this young talent was reaching for was "uninterested." I could go on with these all day…

brianvan (#149)

She wears her University of Phoenix shirt when she wants no-strings-attached sex.

It's ironic they even have those, since no one has ever completed a U.Phoenix program while wearing a shirt.

C_Webb (#855)

@brianvan I wear my Columbia t-shirt when I want to sell drugs.

Brunhilde (#1,225)

@brianvan I break out my CSU Chico shirt when I want to be challenged to a game of flippy cup by bros in the college bars.

(Joke's on me, I actually have a CSU Chico shirt since two of my sisters went there.)

gfrblxt (#11,113)

@brianvan I wear my UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs shirt when I want to be accosted by people brandishing "Pulp Fiction" references.

I suppose I should actually watch that movie some time. I just got the shirt when I was visiting, because I thought the campus reminded me of the planet where those f***ing Ewoks lived.

C_Webb (#855)

I'd suggest that "Harvard Problems" should be in their own category of "first-world problems," but that will just encourage them.

deepomega (#1,720)

@C_Webb A slug on TheAwl, though, surely.

jfruh (#713)

Wait, do … do people wear university t-shirts while *on* the campus of their own university? Isn't this the moral equivalent of wearing a band's t-shirt to that band's concert?

Elizabeth Switaj (#7,144)

@jfruh I used to wear my Evergreen flying geoduck T-shirt on campus, but that's because a flying geoduck is never inappropriate.

mishaps (#5,779)

@jfruh I finally figured out that the reason so many people wore their university T-shirts on campus was (a) it's a useful default option (b) they sell them at the bookstore, so you can avoid going to class in the same shirt you got drunk/got laid/got barfed on/all of the above in the night before.

Chazerim (#532)

@jfruh Perhaps Balk can comment on the phenomenon that at Tulane, everybody wears Tulane t-shirts, sweatshirts and sweatpants. All the time.

Bittersweet (#765)

@jfruh: We wore our college insignia gear all the time. But that was in the late 80s and we also wore pegged jeans, fluffy bangs and Bass moccasins.

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

@Elizabeth Switaj Omnia extares!

"If one is aware that doing something, as innocent as its intention may be, will likely cause a negative misunderstanding, refraining from that action is both wise and thoughtful."

And I was just searching for a new categorical imperative. Thanks, Wyatt N. Troia ’14 !

I NEVER take off my Fucksamatta U. T-shirt when I leave campus.

saythatscool (#101)

@Bookish Lookish Redux YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Bookish Lookish Redux Well, SOMEONE lost their password, didn't they?

deepomega (#1,720)

@Bookish Lookish Redux !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And now there is a respectable 80,000.)

@Clarence Rosario Sniff sniff, yes she did. Also I was near-death sick most of the summer. But glad to be back.

@deepomega Hi deep, honey.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

@Bookish Lookish Redux And what exactly am I supposed to do with the info on when you *don't* take your clothes off?

@Niko Bellic *doe eyes*

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

@Bookish Lookish Redux Yowza!

So, you only wear your Harvard t-shirt on campus, where everyone already knows where you go to school?

That school must be like the scene from Being John Malkovich when Malkovich enters his own head. Only instead of everyone saying "Malkovich", it's a constant litany of "I go to Harvard".

metoometoo (#230)

@Clarence Rosario Ha, you are more right than you know. I spent a good amount of time visiting my BFF at Harvard and it kind of really is like that.

(I occasionally end up at parties at which I am the only non-Harvard alum, and have to go around introducing myself with a default, preemptive, "no, I didn't go Harvard.")

hman (#53)

I always imagined Harvard people hanging their t-shirts.

WaityKatie (#79,377)

@hman I think they have the maid hang their t-shirts.

LondonLee (#922)

I always grow a beard and get some tattoos before I go to Central Square so I don't look out of place.

@LondonLee I put on a shaytel to go to Boro Park.

Bittersweet (#765)

@LondonLee: Don't forget your skinny jeans…

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

Wait, what? Isn't wearing Harvard t-shirts and sweaters the whole point of going to Harvard? Although, I suppose writing about your Harvard-self is even more so, and therefore any excuse will do.

@Niko Bellic The whole idea of going to Harvard is getting to say, "But what do I know, I went to Harvard…"

@Niko Bellic He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.

@Clarence Rosario And she stepped on the ball.

Brunhilde (#1,225)

@Niko Bellic Maybe you've heard of it? They *do* have a hockey team.

I wear my Lawrence t-shirt whenever I want everyone to have no idea where I went to college.

SeanP (#4,058)

@The Dependent Clause Lawrence, in Appleton, WI? See, some people have an idea where you went to college.

Mr. B (#10,093)

So "honey" and the Barbie doll are actually "Wyatt N. Troia"? I know I've said this many times before, Choire, but I <3 you.

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

Something something Yale something something.

Flashman (#418)

When I was at McGill I would wear a UQAM shirt or a DeVry Institute of Technology shirt because of crap like this.

hockeymom (#143)

You know what's edgy? Wearing a ROTC T-shirt to your sorority meeting at Madison.
Because it's a sorority, but it's also Madison. GET IT?
God, I was stupid.

alicegroznyi (#10,780)

I bet she also tells people that she goes to "some school in Porter Square" "Is it Lesley?" "No…"

Somehow the "humility" of the Harvard kids reads as arrogance- if you think that I am going to fall over myself being so impressed, then you are the worst.

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