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What is the best cheese in the world? It's a ripe subject for debate. And since we all know that taste is perhaps the most subjective of the senses, it is probably one for which there is no right answer. But if your top three aren't 1) Parmigiano Reggiano, 2) Stilton and 3) Camembert you are completely ignorant and probably very boring to boot.
God those are some pedestrian choices. Taleggio, bitches.
@amuselouche Sshh! These three are a step up.
Way to respect the form, man.
Camembert over St. André or L'Explorateur? Huh. Okaaaay. [taps foot, waits for Choire to fire Balk. AGAIN.]
Oooh also? If you like ParmReg, and who wouldn't, you should try Robusto. (See how I'm being nice and not calling you a dago cunt because I said I'd be nice if you promised not to die? DO YOU SEE??? Oh God please don't die. sadbear.gif)
Oooh also also: Any other tyrosine fetishists out there who can recommend some brands for me? I'm looking to branch out from Robusto. I've been on the hunt for a tyrosine-y Gouda and am striking out. (I'll just stay here talking to myself, thanks.)
@jolie At the risk of older mansplaining, it sounds like you want an older manchego.
Room for discussion on number three. (I'd take Humboldt Fog over St. Andre but St. Andre! my God. Saint is right.)
One and two should be carved on the side of the moon.
@dntsqzthchrmn The Fog is The Deal. And I would like to throw in a little love for Mimolette.
@Smitros I am heading straight to Murray's as soon as physically possible.
Maybe this should be a round robin by milk source? Top three goat cheeses, top three sheep cheeses, top three human– no, sorry, ew.
@dntsqzthchrmn I go to Cowgirl Creamery in DC, but I know of Murray's. The source criterion is brilliant. Coming soon to the U.S. of A: camel milk cheese. I'm not kidding.
@dntsqzthchrmn Fuck yeah Cowgirl Creamery!
Extend the list to five and include Herkamer County chedder and aged Wisconsin brick.
@grandpa27 Aged Wisconsin brick. In a sandwich with onions and horseradish mustard. Or, you know, just by itself. Either way, you'll be in heaven and everyone around you will be in hell.
Queso Cotija for life.
Jesus.
@melis no no no, that's wine and flat wafers, not cheese.
@cherrispryte Either way, it was a terrible dinner party.
I come from a long line of wops, but really, you're putting Parmigiano Reggiano as the number one cheese?! We clearly have different definitions of good cheese, here.
Comte! Clearly!
@sharilyn: My Swiss friend was ready to knife me when I implied that Comte might be superior to Gruyere. But he also introduced me to Tête de Moine, which is not only amazingly delicious but requires a special device called a Girolle to serve it.
@ejcsanfran I might be ready to knife you too. Gruyere is to die for.
Good lord, man, has nobody allowed you to taste Epoisses?
@pepper : A good Epoisses knocks its excellence into you, via your nose.
@pepper Like when you let it sit, scoop some up with your finger and it driiiips down all runny? Oh boy.
@pepper – Epoisses = numéro un.
I don't see Handi-Snacks on this list?
@melis I know I'd said I was going to be nice, but it takes a hell of a lot of nerve for the inventor of Bugle Canapés to issue any sort of proclamation in re superior cheeses.
Meh, a creamy-ish smoked gouda + fuji apple slices is as close to perfection in life as one could ever hope to find.
And Kraft singles? Are they kidding? The Yves vegan cheddar slices are, perhaps ironically, the best thing ever for either cheeseburgers or grilled cheese or grilled cheese & ham sandwiches. (Even better than Munster, which is otherwise hard to beat for those purposes.)
Oh, for fuck's sake:
1) FRIED.
@Clarence Rosario And Burrata.
@Clarence Rosario Curds escape me…
@Clarence Rosario "Tastes like mozzarella and string beans. You have it; I'm gonna order the hot antipast'."
@dado Gouda pun.
Clearly they meant to say Kraft cheese slices melted over deep-fried cheese curds.
Be the fatty you are and wave in the burrata.
@dado Grate minds, etc.!
ranking cheeses is like ranking hand jobs and hank williamses, they are all awesome (except for the III, he stinks, but not like a good bleu).
@iantenna but while we're listing cheeses that are awesome, manchego has really been knocking my dick into my watch pocket of late. and the quince is ripe and ready to be made into membrillo paste this week so when that shit goes down, look out.
This is like ranking the top three movie genres: "Dramas are like so much better than Thrillers." But I'll bite, what about petit pont l'eveque!
On a side note, this post is particularly enjoyable because myself and others at Saxelby Cheesemongers are big Awl/Alex Balk fans!
If I can't wear it on my head, I ain't buying it.
@hockeymom Try putting some of that aged brick on your head at the next Packer game, especially if you're seated near the opposing bench. (non-Wisconsinites: don't try this at home)
You guys, there's no single cheese like Velveeta, because Velveeta is more than one single cheese. Truth!
(Also, I like to buy a ball of fresh mozzarella every week and just slice it up and throw it into literally everything I eat.)
@jfruh Wrong: Velveeta is not precisely cheese. It's like Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza, which is neither pizza nor Mexican, but some other disturbingly delicious third thing that one cannot help oneself from eating despite one's better self. Velveeta is cheese only insofar as it is also not-cheese; Rather, it is best defined as some kind of magical uncheese.
@jfruh Velveeta — good for soups. (Not kidding.) But for grilled cheese, don't you want mozz or cheddar?
I am having hazy memories of a hardcover (pop covers of hardcore songs) band called Gov't Cheese.
Right now it's Midnight Moon. Aged goats milk cheese. 5 year aged gouda is a close second with crunchy crystals.
@Mackle Tomme de Berger has those crystals. Also, ricotta salata.
How to order cheese at a cheese shop.
Yes, thank you, I'm having a bit of a get-together tonight and looking for a few semi-hard to semi-soft cheeses or, actually, now that I think about it, one hard cheese, a semi-hard cheese and one soft cheese, as long as it's not soft-centered with a heavy rind unless you're recommending something goat milk-based, in which case a heavy rind is fine as long as we're talking about a washed cheese, although, truth be told, if you're particularly fond of a special little flowered cheese which, looking at your display case, I doubt, that might work even though, to be perfectly clear, I think I'm leaning toward something a little more traditional as long as it's not French, which I think will be a bit too staid for this little thing tonight that isn't quite a party, per se, but more like an informal little shindig, which, okay, shindig is probably overstating it but you get the picture, so that's why I'm obviously looking for something less French and more along the lines of an Italian semi-soft, or maybe German, just make sure if it's German it's nothing hard and heavily salted like Bierkaese or Weisslacker, obviously, since it's just a little get-together-slash-shindig, not a frat party, which doesn't rule out anything Irish, as long as it's pasteurized and aged because, you know, Ireland, and I don't mean that as a slur or anything, it's just they're dealing with certain economic realities over there and the last thing I want is for any of our guests to get trichinosis or whatever, so now that I think about it maybe something French would be best, just not something boring like Brie and nothing that smells really, really strong because I have a small apartment.
@Screen Name Missed you.
@Screen Name You always know the answer.
@Screen Name Here, I saved you a string of Provel, bro.
@Screen Name I'll have what he's having.
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Fucking Cotswold, Bitch!
Or a nice peppercorn chevre.
Cambozola has gotta be top 10, being as it is the love child of gorgonzola and camembert. But since it was apparently "invented" for the 1900 World's Fair (at least according to Wikipedia), it probably makes cheese connoisseurs blanch.
@lawyergay: I am with you.
1 Choire pizza dough, blind baked on be-cornmealed pizza stone at 500F for 3 min (puncture bubbles at 1 min)
1 glurg of spicey olive oil, spread
1 onion caramelized, scattered
1 ripe pear peeled, cored, sliced thin, and Busby Berkeley'd (figs are an appropriate understudy)
2.5 handfuls of pieces of cambozola, distributed throughout without eating more than half
1 small handful of pine nuts (or maaaaybe pecans or chopped pistachios, if you must) sprinkled
Bake on 8-10 min (check at 5)
While hot, sprinkle with bitter green of your choice, such as arugula
Allow to rest for 5 minutes if you can stand it
Pepper it squarely
Slice
Children by the millions harsh on Alex's stilton.
@falseberry briilliant
ugh, after my last check up my doctor advised me to 'say goodbye to cheese.' :(
who is this quack.
Real Yorkshire Wensleydale
@mrschem T.S. Eliot's cheese; cheddar that went to Oxford. It's good! Four dollar premium on cheddar good, I'm not sure.
Goat.
@Eric Spiegelman: Goat feta
Sheep.
Manchego! Aged Gouda! Feta!
@swizzard Manchego, FTW! Plus a nice artery-clogging real French Brie.
My girlfriend's favorite cheese is Brique du Forez and she's French, so ima go with that one.
Also, I'm going to have to second Manchego and Gruyere, and this if it counts (it does).
A perfectly ripe Vacherin Mont d'Or is quite sublime.
Goat Milk Gouda gets my vote, along with Cave-aged Gruyere.
Midnight Moon anyone?
thanks for nice information