There's A Chance Of Rain This Weekend
What are you still doing here? Haven't you heard? Big storm's a-comin'! You should be out right now panic shopping! Few of the preparedness guides I have seen thus far have addressed this matter with sufficient import, so I will bring it up: Do make sure you are well stocked for alcohol. People tend to forget to check the liquor cabinet while they load up on bottled water and crackers, but believe me, if you are trapped in your apartment for a couple of days the LAST thing you want to do is go into convulsions because you neglected to pick up an extra handle of Wild Turkey. Also, remember to get a decent selection of mixers. Sure, you can drink things neat in a pinch, but why should you have to? Be ready! You'll thank me later… IF WE LIVE. Anyway, go, shop, do, etc. But before you head to store, why not print out some of this fine Awl content to read by candlelight as the world crumbles around you?
• A Q&A With Rooftop Farmer Annie Novak
• Murder, Suicide And Mayhem In Brooklyn Heights
• Ken Auletta Dominates Alec Baldwin in East Hampton
• Case History Of A Wikipedia Page
• Enough About These Hackers And Whistleblowers! How Is Herr Schmitt, The Cat?
• Will eBooks Keep Writers From Writing?
Good luck, all. Hopefully we'll see you back here on Monday.
Photo by Cory Cartwright, via Shutterstock
Oh please, like anyone reading this site needs to be reminded. The last of my shopping list reads like this:
Wine
Bourbon
Cash
Rolling papers
Ice
I'll take a rape zombie over the CHUD's any day.
Seriously, all my east coasters please be safe. I don't pray but I'll sacrifice a goat to Xenu this weekend for your safety.
Also Balk? If you die, I promise you, I will raise Edith as if she was my own daughter. BTW, I am a very strict father who believes in corporal punishment.
Mixers are def important. The first action in any crisis that takes out refrigeration should be to use up all the ice before it melts all over the floor.
God, now I'm worried about people from the internet.
I just need to share this with my fellow Bostonian Awl readers. THE MBTA WILL BE FINE, YOU GUYS.
I am fully prepared, thanks to FEMA, OEM and the fine folks at Austin, Nichols and Charles Shaw Wineries.
I discovered FEMA is on twitter and now I have to sit on my hands to keep from tweeting them about where the "relocation centers" are and how to recover the bodies of family members lost in "escape attempts".
things are going to be moving fast from here on out guys #hurricanpocalypse
I'm really offended that you seem to think our liquor cabinets aren't already stocked. Who the fuck do your ad wizards think is reading this site, anyway? Insulting.
@Matt A real drinker always needs to restock.
@Aatom Real drinkers don't restock. Real drinkers practice preventative maintenance.
I have a basement studio which has had water in it before after a severe storm so I'm a LITTLE nervous…
Basically if I drown this weekend just don't let them play Journey at my funeral, or Jackson Browne.
@HiredGoons
Screamin' Jay is the only way to go.
I'm probably gonna die this weekend without ever having been to a Bawl. Sniff.
@C_Webb Not on my watch. NOT ON MY WATCH!
@Clarence Rosario If I walk the dog 17 times in the next 8 hours, do you think she can hold it for the next 24?
@C_Webb We'll find out! I'm dragging my two mutts outside everytime there's a break in the rain. Talk about a Storm Surge!
come on, guys. you're scaring me. this is my calm corner of the internet. i come here for reason and wit. come on. I just looked at the nyc flood map thing and now I really am worried for you. seriously tho, stay safe and dry.
I should have bought mushrooms. or tabs. Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
We need an Awl live-blog of the hurripocalypse.
@armagnacforbreakfast: Agreed.
@C_Webb THIS IS that liveblog. At least until the power goes out (or we pass out).
@Clarence Rosario LIVE BLOG: just finished dinner, 3/4 of the way through my 24oz of beer, watching old episodes of bored to death, and can hear the gentle sound of rain outside. WILL REPORT BACK WITH FURTHER DETAILS.
@armagnacforbreakfast UPDATE! Just checked the patio drain, walked the dogs. Got wet. Liquor supply looks adequate.
@armagnacforbreakfast: I woke up at 5 am still sort of hammered, saw all the bowls and pots (of water) out in the kitchen, and thought, "What the hell did I cook last night?"
i dont want to bring anybody down or anything ok? but like, it's been in the upper 80s here for the past three days and it's starting to get kind of heavy, you know? even the cats are starting to feel down and there all laying spread out and stuff, and im still drinking g&ts well after sunset and it's not really helping
update; im now lying on the basement floor listening to 'marmalade cream' on repeat. thats not helping either.
Hurricane boozing was interrupted at 1am by actual need to deal with the hurricane: dealing with flooding. How inconsiderate, Irene!
@Clarence Rosario Moody bitch. I thankfully timed dog walks perfectly (although I think my dog faked a poop crouch on the last one just to get out of the goddamn rain). It was worth it to see utterly empty BQE.
@Clarence Rosario My neighborhood is scattered with little leafy things, probably leaves. Otherwise no damage. Now turn the trains back on.
@NotAndersonCooper Apparently, a nuclear reactor is easier to power down — and restart — than the MTA.
What is that German compound word for a prediction whose comic understatement is hilarious until the event, when it proves to have been more or less literally appropriate? It's on the tip of my tongue.
Make sure you save your iPhone, it may fall in water. HAH!