But What if Michael Vick Was a Vegetarian Mexican?

How stupid are magazines? So stupid that the writers of the pieces for those magazines now tend to take to Twitter to denounce the packaging, headlining and illustration. (The illustration—Michael Vick whiteface—ESPN promptly removed; you can see it here.)

In any event, if you read the actual ESPN piece by Touré, you learn that Michael Vick couldn't possibly be white but also is "heroic," because of how he's acted in his post-dog-fighting life. I… guess? I dunno? Elsewhere in ESPN the magazine's Vick package, you can read about how we love dogs too much but are too mean to animals and how we don't have a moral leg to stand on criticizing anyone because of our contradictions of eating versus petting: "We don't have to witness the stomach-turning horrors inside a farm factory in order to get chicken nuggets for lunch"! (This is not written by Jonathan Safran Foer, but ESPN definitely is starting to read like Cosmopolitan at this point.) Also, somewhere Oprah is cringing sympathetically: enjoy your food libel lawsuit, ESPN.