The Weekend You Take Up Knitting or Go to the Beach

• Tonight, at Hudson River Park: The Karate Kid is screening. And tonight, at the Prospect Park Bandshell: Los Lobos. So either go to the South Street Seaport, where The Wake is playing, or come back to Prospect Park on Saturday, when Raekwon is playing.

• Or? Tonight, on the Intrepid, they are playing The Goonies at sunset. (Warning: NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED, it's a, you know, battleship/museum.) BUT BEST OF ALL? The midnight movie at the Landmark Sunshine this weekend is Mortal Kombat. Boom! And in art, there's a weirdo group show opening tonight at Maccarone in the West Village.

• In local film, Septien plays at the IFC—the only film there classified as "Comedy/Drama/Horror." Nationally, uh… the only big movie opening is Zookeeper? Oh and Horrible Bosses. Maybe you should just stay home and get your Google Circles all lined up? Gosh, what a strange weekend this is! Is there anything better to do? LET US KNOW. We'll be at home, staring at the wall.

Recommended reads for your downtime:

• Some Cures for the Hiccups
• How to Spend $1 Million at Tiffany (it's easy!)
•A Photo Tribute to the Hot Folks of NYC!
• A Handy Guide to How (Not) to Work with the Kids of the Famous
• The Age-Old Question: Which Failed Utopia was Best?

Photo by Andrew Piccone, from the series A Day in New York