How to Work with Famous People's Kids
It happens all the time in New York City. You're churning away in your new cubicle, and then, with one fervent IM from a buddy, you discover that you work with a child of the rich, famous or rich and famous. It could be almost anyone! For instance, if you toil at the AOLington HuffPost, perhaps you are sitting near some dude named Theo, who is the son of Steven Spielberg. This exchange, which did not happen, is definitely how you should handle that situation best.
SavingPrivateIMs: yo man
Theo88: Hi. Who is this?
SavingPrivateIMs: its Eddie. from the other side of the office. whats up man? how you settling in?
Theo88: Pretty well, thanks.
SavingPrivateIMs: cool
SavingPrivateIMs: that’s cool
SavingPrivateIMs: dont u think super 8 kinda sucks?
Theo88: What?
SavingPrivateIMs: lol just kiddin man
SavingPrivateIMs: seriously tho…Amistad…baller shit
SavingPrivateIMs: did you get the scripts i left at your desk
Theo88: What?
SavingPrivateIMs: i left like three scripts and one note
Theo88: “Please give for your dad”?
Theo88: I just threw that stuff out.
SavingPrivateIMs: oh
SavingPrivateIMs: did you read them tho?
Theo88: No.
SavingPrivateIMs: your pretty busy writing right
SavingPrivateIMs: i saw you got a lot of pageviews a couple months ago. your post on the White Stripes breaking up
SavingPrivateIMs: ‘The White Strips Call It Quites’
Theo88: Thank you.
SavingPrivateIMs: that was some ‘goony’ shit haha
SavingPrivateIMs: and i LOVED your articles on willow smith, max winkler and Jaden smiths
SavingPrivateIMs: ;)
Theo88: Okay.
SavingPrivateIMs: you should write something about sean lennon too haha
Theo88: I’m working, man. Did you need something?
SavingPrivateIMs: “working” or directing an oscar winning blog post?
Theo88: I am working. I’m writing.
SavingPrivateIMs: just writing? not writing/exec producing? is john williams making a
badass soundtrack to you’re next article?
SavingPrivateIMs: hahaha just kidding man!
SavingPrivateIMs: are you tight with Chet Haze?
SavingPrivateIMs: do you wanna get a beer after work?
SavingPrivateIMs: on some Indiana Jones and the Temple of Booze shit
Theo88: Is this a joke?
SavingPrivateIMs: nah man. my cell is 9172073826 if you wanna ‘phone home’
SavingPrivateIMs: wait are you tight with Ian Malcolm?
Theo88 went idle
SavingPrivateIMs: were gonna need a bigger boat, bro
SavingPrivateIMs: so
SavingPrivateIMs: best 90’s Spielberg?
SavingPrivateIMs: if you don’t answer in 5 mins your favorite is HOOK
SavingPrivateIMs: hahaha HOOK!
SavingPrivateIMs: actually your fav is WAR OF THE WORLDS HAHAHA
SavingPrivateIMs: hey man cya around no hard feelings
SavingPrivateIMs: if u see Gizmo say WHAT UP GIZMO
Zach Dionne is a former AOL entertainment editor. He blogs and tweets.
Picture of Jonathan Blankfein via Business Insider.
How else would you do it? Maybe more BANGARANG!s and RU-FI-OHHH!s
Awheycomeon! Hook was good. No Hook jokes allowed.
@Joey Camire I'm trying to censor you for the record.
Censure.
@Ham_Snadwich You earned this. http://www.inameri.ca/erm/25ad8-slow_clap.gif
my friend banged Steven Spielberg's son. That is all.
@HiredGoons don't you mean 'bangaranged'?
It requires some very serious training to get such perfectly-well-advised responses and answers from the Theo88's– as in this example.
Waitwaitwait. I thought that pale, open-mouthed young man was Theo Spielberg. NOT SO; MISLEADING.
@SlapHappyPappy Very not so. Sorry! Thanks for reading though. Here's a shot of Young Spielz and Olde Spielz: http://static.igossip.com/photos/small_blackcelebkids_Film_11611_spielberg_son.jpg
@zachdionne I'M NOT UPSET, I JUST LIKE SHOUTING. And pictures of Theo Spielberg, because he's adorable. And this post, because it was motherfucking hilarious.
@SlapHappyPappy Shouting is crucial. Young Spielz is a handsome fellow indeed. Thank you for the postlove.
Funny.
WIW