America's Political Minefield: The Competitive World of Post Office Renaming
"Shortly before 6 p.m., near the end of a two-hour debate on the plan, Republicans halted the proceedings, and Democrats claimed that Mr. Boehner was still short of the votes he needed.
At 6:50 p.m., the leaders stopped all business on the floor, where the House had worked through a list of post offices to be renamed, and called a"—Wait, what's that? Post office renaming? Oh yes. Lots of what our government does is rename post offices, actually! This year alone, "50 bills to rename post offices have been introduced. Three of those bills have made it to the president’s desk, representing a full 13 percent of all legislation signed by President Obama this year." And back in the 111th Congress (simpler times! Ended in January!), over two years there were 427 bills to rename post offices—but only 70-something of those bills passed. It turns out getting a post office named after you is incredibly challenging! But post office icons beware. Now that they're closing just under 3700 of them, sometimes the post office you just got named after your dead war hero son is on the list for shuttering.
After the August 2nd (or 15th) end times those empty post offices will make wonderful soup kitchens or recruitment offices for the various rebel militias fighting in the hinterlands.
@coalbaron The PO where my box is is already on track toward these goals. And it's on the closure list!
Am I the only one who thinks the phrase "tax dollars" is retarded? Part of it is that "dollars" used in place of "money" grates on my ear. Also, a lot of the government's money doesn't come from taxes — oil, coal and gas companies have to pay for those leases to extract leases from public land, and let's not forget the $1 trillion or so China has been nice enough to lend. Oh: and it isn't "our" money anymore once our taxes have been paid. It's the government's!
Ugh. Sorry for the pedantic rant — coffee still in the process of kicking in.
That post office in the industrial wasteland known as Carlstadt has the potential to be this year's Ground Zero Mosque. Come on, Hannity, get on the ball.
When the end days arrive next week, our society will dissolve into a bloody gladiatorial fundament and The Awl will be the only sanctuary for the witty
@RonMwangaguhunga An elegant caste system based on commenter number will emerge as the sole brake on the coming entropy. Four-digiters, unite or perish!
@boyofdestiny But what about commenters the likes of me? The long-time reader, late-time register-er? Oh god, don't put me with the high five-digit spam bots! A fate worse than death!
@armagnacforbreakfast It seems to me that the only obvious criterion for admission into the non-boy castes is quality of puns.
I have to start doing squats if I want to be The Awl's Lord Humongous.
but when will they have time to talk about LIGHT BULBS?
but when will they have time to talk about LIGHT BULBS?
but when will they have time to talk about LIGHT BULBS?