18
What Ladies Won't Do with Larry Flynt for a Million Dollars
"After dinner Larry said, 'Come into my study, Terry, you’re going to need some money for the weekend.' We went into his office and he said, “There’s a briefcase by the couch where you’re sitting. Put it on your lap and open it.” So I did. It was full of packs of hundred-dollar bills. Larry said, 'It’s a million dollars. I have this on hand to give validity to the offer.' And he showed me this circular: A standing offer from Larry Flynt to the following women who are prepared to show gyno-pink. One million cash to Barbara Bach, Cathy Bach, Barbi Benton, Cheryl Tiegs…. They were mostly kind of obscure, but there were one or two that were totally out of place, like Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda."
—How the other half lives. (The male half.)
I was kinda disappointed this scene did not take place, say, five years ago, and still had Cheryl Tiegs and Barbara Bach on Flynt's beaver list.
I have one of these, but mine is a Bloomingdale's bag containing a plastic bottle of Popov and a king size pack of Sweet-Tarts and the names "Scary Spice, Martha Stewart, Connie Chung" written on it in Sharpie.
See, Choire. There ARE jobs.
Did someone just call Barbara Bach and Cheryl Tiegs OBSCURE?
@Clarence Rosario I misread Back as Bush every time it appeared above your comment. The truth is disappointing.
Coincidence! My toes are painted Gyno-Pink today. It's by Essie.
@IBentMyWookie Mine are a natural Albino-Stink until about August.
A writer friend moved with her musician husband to LA in the late 90s. While finding a dearth of general interest publishing work there, times were good for porn. And soon she found herself working for Flynt Publications, on the 5th floor, in a private office with a view, and a secretary. She'd get her work done in about two hours in the morning, writing for Barely Legal and some mammary-interest publication, then close her door and write personal stuff. It was an easy life until, one day, the interwebs sucked the precious publishing fluids from paper porn. And my friend found that even stroke content is not recession-proof when she was laid off.
And what did I get out of this? A grocery sack filled with Barely Legal issues in which every one of the letters to the editor were written by my friend.
@BadUncle – Thanks for the mammaries.
@scroll_lock Better nip these puns in the bud.
More like what MEN like Dennis Hooper, Terry Southern, and Timothy Leary won't do with Larry Flynt for a million dollars (and DRUGS).
Um, can we focus for a moment on the phrase "gyno-pink"?
@cherrispryte It's my favorite gelato after pistachio.
@cherrispryte I misread it as "Dymo-pink" but I do have a thing for office supplies so
I'd prefer not to. That may be the single most awful phrase I've heard all year.
@cherrispryte Is this where I can get feedback on a less crude nickname for vagina? I misheard someone say "giney" as "Jenny" and thought, how adorable…but maybe not for those named Jenny. I should bounce this off the comment ladies at The Hairpin.
@cherrispryte As heard on "3 Feet High & Rising," Jenny was thing. Jimmies and Jennies etc.
I think it sounds festive!