19
We Live In Torrid Times
Man, it is hot out there! Gentlemen who dress appropriately in consideration of their age and gender might want to procure a container of Gold Bond Medicated Powder for their chafey undercarriages, because
I recommend the Regular Strength (orange bottle) unless you like things a little 'tingly' down there – in which case you should go with Extra Strength (green bottle).
I should point out that the optimal Gold Bond application method for us guys is the post-shower maneuver known as "making floured dumplings." All you need to know is that for the rest of the day it will feel like a delightful little elf lives in your shorts. But I've said too much already.
So the retirement climate will come to me. This is good news. No need to buy that trailer in Phoenix!
Chafey Undercarriage was my nickname in high school.
I have a question. So when you guys put the powder on your weiner and then have to use a urinal some time in the day, don't you get a bunch of a powder on the crotch of your pants? It looks pretty weird.
@Hammer Shorts would look more weird on me than a puff of powder.
@jolie It shouldn't clump up or anything! Just a dusting will do.
QUESTION: Don't you all end up with a white sludge-y pool in your underdrawers by the end of the day? Also: From now on you all need to shower yourselves before sexytimes. I don't need to be choking on cornstarch, thanks.
@jolie : On the other hand, if we need to escape in a hurry, us guys can just snap our underwear elastic and flee in a Batman-stylee cloud of powder. So there's that.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose I can get behind that.
@jolie This reminds me of the distinct displeasure of accidentally getting Jean Nate all up in my preteen ladyparts.
Every so often, I've found it advisable and even enjoyable to abrade the outermost layers of my undercarriage. In those times, nothing approaches the efficacy of Gold Bond Extra Strength Medicated Powder. The burning means it's working– and it promotes vitality!
@TableNine – Sitting in a bucket of gin will get abraded things burning too, and it's more like a party.
@scroll_lock Agreed. If there's a better way to make a Gibson martini I'd like to hear it. Just mind the cocktail onions.
Will this work for girls? It sounds very refreshing.
@Rosebud NO NO NO NO NO. DO NOT PUT GOLD BOND ON YOUR NETHERS, LADIES. A tingling labia sounds great in theory but this isn't the tingle you're looking for TRUST ME.
Try Shower to Shower instead.
@jolie I know you're right, Jolie, cause you always are, but…but I still want to try it!!
@jolie Obviously, the Jean Nate comment belonged here. My bad.
@Rosebud I mean… they're your labia, lady. Knock yourself out, just don't say I didn't warn ya.
Just be sure if you use the green (the Kind Bond) that you're thoroughly dry before applying.