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The End of English Society
The Ascot Gold Cup—the schmancy horserace in Berkshire, founded by Queen Anne, part of the summer season at the Ascot Racecourse—has long been on the circuit of fancy white inbred people in Knifecrime Island. And now? It is beset by louts and chavs! These must-see photographs of the disaster have the world's best captions: "Lowering the tone: A man wielding a £98 bottle of Laurent Perrier Rose Champagne gets involved as the fight breaks out between racegoers." This makes the Stanley Cup Vancouver riots this week look like a kiddy tea time!
I'd better just put my monocle in my pocket before I read this. I don't want it popping out too much.
@boyofdestiny Hang on, let me park my yacht first.
This is nothing new. Almost 10 years ago, I saw a fistfight in the streets of Yorkshire between two drunk English aristos. They were wearing suits that cost more than my college education. This was, of course, during the Yorkshire Cup.
Racing commentator Sir Peter O’Sullevan…said: ‘Sometimes the grandstands seem over-run by tattoos and bare flesh. It’s disrespectful – not just to the Queen, but to the horses. But enough about Princess Anne….' #merrieoldejokes #fightmeimirish
I'm not sure I quite get the "bare flesh" complaints? The drunken yobs in the pics are actually all quite well dressed (from my nonprofessional perspective, anyway) which makes the fracas even more hilarious.
Amongst the chaos, I was hoping to spot some sodomy.
@NotAndersonCooper Will this do? Also lowering the tone yesterday was Helen Wood, the vice girl who was once involved with footballer Wayne Rooney….The 24-year-old, who is the subject of an injunction after having sex with a famous actor, flouted protocol by neglecting to wear a hat"
Oh, please. Fisticuffs have been a tradition, especially amongst the Ladies in Waiting, for centuries.
Nice to see you, Sir Bruce, to see you nice.
All I know is, a Yank should absolutely not trot out a 'someone's having wobbler!' at the sight of something like this. The caption to the pic above could very well be " 'Crimers teaching one A Lesson on its proper usage."
"All the dukes and earls and peers are here; everyone who should be here is here. What a smashing, positively dashing, spectacle the Ascot opening Day."
In all fairness, in this photo he is merely brandishing an (intact) bottle. Call me when he's smashed it over Sir Overbite's head and is grinding the sharp edges of the bottleneck into Lord Myparentsarefirstcousin's face. The upper class are riot amateurs.
In all fairness, in this photo he is merely brandishing an (intact) bottle. Call me when he's smashed it over Sir Overbite's head and is grinding the sharp edges of the bottleneck into Lord Myparentsarefirstcousin's face. The upper class are riot amateurs.
Looks like the infield at the Preakness.
My Fair Lady lied. Eliza Dolittle wouldn't have been out of place there at all.
I sincerely hope someone yelled "Move your bloomin' arse" before jumping into the fray.
Why aren't any of them making out on the lawn while other aristocrats stand ominously in the foreground?
I'm wearing a suit to Denny's from now on.
‘Sometimes the grandstands seem over-run by tattoos and bare flesh. It’s disrespectful – not just to the Queen, but to the horses.’
For God's sake, will no one think of the horses!?!
"racecourse bosses have installed a drugs honesty box by the gates to give visitors the chance to hand over any narcotics before entering the grounds."
Drugs Honesty Box.
Sounds kind of oxymoronish.