Wednesday, May 25th, 2011
49

Where Did All of Los Angeles' Children Go? Who Cares!

"The number of children between the ages of 5 and 9 in the county decreased by 21% from 2000 to 2010"—and demographers are panicking about how that's going to impact the local workforce in the future. But that seems a remarkably old-world way to think about population trends. This isn't Ames, Iowa, with a brain drain and nobody about to take care of aging parents! With 15 million people in the metro area, around a city where 40% of the population is foreign-born, it's not the children who are going to be doing the future working. It's a city of transience and immigration, and Los Angeles has become a hub of international movement—and godless lifestyles, too, of course: "There were 32% more households with unmarried couples throughout the state in 2010 than a decade earlier." That actually means a better future workforce, one unencumbered by marriages, unencumbered by roots. Los Angeles is becoming a city of choice.

49 Comments / Post A Comment

dado (#102)

California's only contribution to civilization is right on red. Besides, you can't get good Chinese food there either. Everyone knows that.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

A better workforce for what, now?

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@dntsqzthchrmn -Sitting in traffic.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

This concerns me that deepomega will have fewer moms from which to choose.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@scroll_lock Demographers are counting on moms being inexorably drawn to him. It's Southern California's only hope.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@boyofdestiny I had to tell my mom to stop driving by his house late at night. So embarrassing.

saythatscool (#101)

@scroll_lock Like Los Angeles, DeepOmega's mom remains filled with Mexicans and fourth rate hot dogs.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@saythatscool – Sadly for her, the former are shorter than the latter.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@scroll_lock Guess which ones are wrapped in bacon!

deepomega (#1,720)

@scroll_lock: I will never want for sexual congress with mothers, dear scrolly. Why do you think Ellen's talk show is still running? It's an elaborate scam to lure them into my city.

deepomega (#1,720)

@saythatscool: And like Cleveland, every unemployed blue collar worker who makes the mistake of entering your mom spends the next five years trying to claw their way out of her death-grip.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega – Plus, it's difficult for them to turn their 18 wheeler around and back out.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega – Ellen can dance them right into your loving arms!

saythatscool (#101)

@scroll_lock My mom's more like Portland – a lot of runaways with the occasional confused black guy.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@saythatscool – Fleet Week has declared your mom a one-woman USO.

deepomega (#1,720)

@saythatscool: Your mom's more like San Francisco. Full of odors and lesbians' dogs.

@scroll_lock: I hear she's got a Big Dig going on to add some interchanges.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega – I just hope the roof doesn't cave in again and kill a busload of lacrosse players like when she installed that cloverleaf.

deepomega (#1,720)

@scroll_lock: When you meet STC's mom at a bar she is now legally required to give you a hardhat and a flashlight. OSHA inspects her once a month to make sure she's up to code.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega – The Chilean miners were adamant that new law be enforced. They weren't going through that again.

saythatscool (#101)

@scroll_lock @deepomega You're all bastards.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

During the same period, the number of children fathered by Schwarzenegger increased 48%.

@scroll_lock; Ha!

@scroll_lock Obviously he was worried and was trying to correct the problem single-handedly.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@major disaster -He's a regular guy just like you who puts his pants on one leg at a time after impregnating the housekeeper.

deepomega (#1,720)

@scroll_lock The Impregnator

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega -The Sperminator

zoom (#10,138)

@scroll_lock Commando

zoom (#10,138)

@zoom you did it wrong.

deepomega (#1,720)

@scroll_lock: The Cumming Man (sorry)

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@deepomega- Kindergarten Cop a Feel

C_Webb (#855)

Have they checked the prisons? Tons of folks milling around in there.

GailPink (#9,712)

Good news for ZPG!

laurel (#4,035)

So, as the birth rate in post-industrialized societies declines, does the birth rate among new immigrants to those societies decline as well? Or does the decline only happen in and after the first generation born in the new country?

Could be just a problem of visual misidentification. Because a hell of a lot of little girls nowadays dress and make themselves up like 40 year old tranny hookers.

zoom (#10,138)

@SarahHeartburn You leave Ke$ha out of this.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Who knew that botoxing your fallopian tubes keeps them both line- and zygote-free?

That pic, it mocks me.

@TerseNursePornstein Because it looks like a penis?

@kitten_witawip Also I did not feel the #ACCIDENTAL PENIS joke was mine to make.

lbf (#2,343)

A city of choice?
"I can't see why you'd want to live here."
- Ben Gibbard, who fucking lives there now

Wow, gay marriage really socked it to the breeders in the brief time it was legal. Nice work everybody!

roboloki (#1,724)

does this figure include anchor babies?

Ken Layne (#262)

I'm no early childhood expert, but I'm guessing that by 2010, many of these lovable moppets transformed into hideous teen-agers.

Jonathan Smith (#13,062)

Someone needs to get to the bottom of this ;p

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