One Man's Campaign to Blind and Shoot Cats
"Don't, for even one moment, fall for the song and dance about cat-lovers being animal-lovers, they are anything but that. They don't give one damn about any other animals nor even other humans. Cat-lovers are just like cats, the only thing they care about are themselves. Nobody else and nothing else matters to them."
So begins a very long and very persuasive blog comment on this site about the evils of cats—an argument that this unknown person makes over and over again on various websites, word for word. What drives a person to begin a holy war against cats? I mean, he's not wrong, in part! Cats are killers. Except then… he recommends shooting them and blinding cats. And maybe you cat-lovers too: "It's time to give cats and cat-lovers the same consideration and respect that they have for all other humans and all other wildlife–that means NONE."
Move over, culture war! It's time for the war between cat enthusiasts and cat murderers.
I never thought Balk would take his bear bias this far.
It's a cry for help. I'm not saying from Balk, just, it's a cry for help.
@Tulletilsynet Yes, a cry for help to get rid of ALL stray and feral cats on this planet. A useless and destructive invasive-species on every continent. Pretty simple, no? Or are you going to admit that you're that stupid.
@Woodsman
I guess I'm that stupid. It consoles me a bit that I can punctuate and am not a dangerous nutso.
@Tulletilsynet it's obviously time to stop surreptitiously putting birth control into feral cat colonies and start surreptitiously putting Xanax into Woodsman's water supply.
@Tulletilsynet
I think you and others have got it all wrong.
I had many cats in the past as a child. Loved them dearly. Kept them indoors where they belong. Because even as a small child I was smart enough to know to not let this destructive and invasive species out into the world.
I like cats even to this day, but ONLY when they are inside someone's house where they belong. The moment I find out their cat is allowed outside they get no further attention from me, neither do its owners. I like cats the same way I admire a piranha in a fish-tank — instead of the small school of them that I saw swimming by in a canal in the Florida Everglades where they have no known predators to keep them in check.
Unfortunately, unless there is a law passed to have people like you permanently sterilized, as well as any offspring that you have already ignorantly raised (if ANY, hah!), then your stupidity genes that you are displaying will survive long into the future — exacerbating the problem that fools like you cause for everyone and all life on this planet.
As a co-fellow Defender of Weally Wild Wildlife, Woodsman, I printed out your comment (your essay is something to be proud of: it must have been difficult to find the time to compose it between your Wildlife Management Activities), and have given it to my household of Duly Domesticated Domestic Animals for their consideration.
In no less than two (2) minutes, my parrot made several spot-on comments on your piece. Using his laser sight.
@KarenUhOh If those "spot-on comments" were not made when your parrot was reading the paper in the bottom of its cage, then I'll take that as a compliment.
Cat lover Thomas Dolby prefers the more humane blinding with science.
@scroll_lock My kitten is revved up like a deuce.
Remember that 70's movie where all the animals turned on everybody and Leslie Nielsen had to fight a bear?
I'm pretty sure this is what triggered it.
@keisertroll You've seen Night of the Lepus? This guy walked into Night of the Lupus at the Multiplex by mistake.
@KarenUhOh Giant rabbits + DeForest Kelley = AWESOME
@keisertroll I keep picturing Leslie Neilsen in a Grizzly Man prequel, and I like it.
@MParcells http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCOsPNnvJoI
It's essentially the same character he would later play in "NUTS".
@keisertroll Well, that was even better than I imagined!
@keisertroll All Animals vs. All Men
Don't anyone fall for the song and dance about cat-lovers being animal-lovers, they are anything but that. They don't give one damn about any other animals nor even other humans. The ONLY things they care about are themselves and their damnable cats. Cat-lovers have the same values that cats have–themselves. Nobody else and nothing else matters to them.
Their TNR (trap, neuter, release) programs are a dismal failure too. A smokescreen and time & money waster. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. Do a search online for the truth about all TNR failures.
Those cats that are released will still be decimating the native food-chain for all wildlife. And if you feed a TNR cat colony they kill even more wildlife. A well-fed cat kills more animals than a starving one. They don't stop killing other animals just because they're no longer hungry. The healthier they are the more they kill. It's what they do, it's what they are. Lousy little killing machines, nothing more.
The problem is just not the loss of bird populations either. Feral cats and neighboring farmers that let theirs roam free have decimated the natural food-chain in my woods. The resident foxes, awls, and other predatory animals no longer had a food source, the feral cats destroyed all the smaller animals that all the larger ones depended on. The native species all starved to death. That's what cats do to ALL native animals.
I found out that where I live it is perfectly legal to defend your own property and animals from destruction by others' animals. I lost count after dispatching the first 20 piece-of-sh!t vermin with a good .22, outfitted with a laser-sight and good zoom rifle-scope. I didn't have to waste even one bullet, making this solution highly economical as well. Just think of how many dollars and hours of your lives that you have spent trapping, transporting, calling, complaining, restoring damaged property, et.al. … and still all the problems that these useless cat-lovers have caused remains.
It's time to give cats and cat-lovers the same consideration and respect that they have for all other humans and all other wildlife–that means NONE. Don't bother wasting your time arguing with disrespectful, inconsiderate, and ignorant cat-lovers either, as I stupidly tried to do too many times in the past. Just do what needs to be done and there'll be nothing to argue about.
This year awls and foxes have returned to my woods. Through a large effort of my own, including raising and releasing native mice and voles to help repopulate the species that their piece-of-sh!t cats destroyed. Their lousy cats are finally gone. But I'll shoot again on first-sight the first chance I get (and anyone who tries to stop me from doing what needs to be done). The rewards for ridding one's land of ALL cats and restoring the native wildlife population are far too great.
@Lockheed Ventura Cats-who-vaguely-resemble-Hitler support this message
if the read the whole thing in a cockney accent, it's pretty funny.
@Lockheed Ventura – Brad – I think putting the whole thing in rap form, and mashing it up with pictures of kittens with guns could also be funny. Especially since Woodsman has some issues with inner city folks who listen to rap :-)
@Gerda Lobo@facebook
See if you can put this to some rap music:
Here's a little information to help you understand the behaviors of cat-lovers and their cats. Now you'll know exactly why cat-lovers do what they do. It really has nothing at all to do with their concern for cats, nor even the lives of anyone nor anything else, quite the opposite.
Human Territorial Behavior By Expendable Proxy
I have come to the inexorable conclusion that the vast majority of cat-lovers and cat-owners that let their destructive invasive-species roam free, and especially those that defend the rights of feral cats to overtake public property and wildlife areas, are only (cowardly) using cats as a proxy for their own territorial behavior. Not unlike uneducated inner-city youth that will disrespectfully and inconsiderately use loud music to stake-out a territory for themselves. As long as they can have one of their cats defecate in another's yard or destroy their property, animals, and wildlife; and the yard-owner not have any recourse; the cat-owner owns that territory. It's time to put a stop to them using their "cute kitty" excuse for usurping and stealing others' property. If they want more territory they can buy it just like anyone else. Instead they're using underhanded, disrespectful, and manipulative means. By putting (and sacrificing) live animals in the path of their envy and greed. Again proving why they don't care about cats nor anyone else at all. Cat-lovers only really want your yard, garden, or forest while making all others and all other animals suffer for what they can't have nor own. Bottom line–they want to control you and your property. That's ALL that "cat-lovers" are really after. It's why they don't care at all if their cat nor any other animals, nor even other humans, get harmed by their goals and (lack of) values in life.
Cats pass disease to wildlife, even in remote areas.
Dear members of Vox Felina, members of Alley Cat Allies, and any other feral cat relocation groups,
Here’s something you really need to read:
biological warfare n. (Abbr. BW) The use of disease-producing microorganisms, toxic biological products, or organic biocides to cause death or injury to humans, animals, or plants.
Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/biological-warfare
Given the above information about cats harboring dangerous biological agents (of which you were all already aware) that are harmful to wildlife and humans, as well as the cats themselves being just as harmful if not more-so (this too of which you were all aware), and the above information about your TRUE motives (if you weren't aware of it before, you most certainly are now); the fact that you want to infest public and private properties with these harmful biological agents means that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU CAN AND WILL eventually be held responsible for the crimes that you are committing against all of humanity and all of nature.
May you all rot in prisons as soon as possible.
Freedom is out in paperback already?
@Clarence Rosario
Thank you.
@Clarence Rosario Having to stifle an actual LOL-action (reaction?) does not help my attempts to maintain the illusion of doing actual work. But, yes – thank you.
He's clearly a little unhinged (ok, maybe a lot unhinged), but he's not wrong. Cats are ecological disasters, and if you're going to keep them, you should probably keep them indoors.
@Ham_Snadwich oh yeah, it's the cats that are a problem. can't tell you how many times i've been disgusted to see local cats using chain saws to eliminate forests and every time i see a cat driving an suv i wonder why they don't bike to work.
i read my comment and realized i sounded like a huge asshole. that was intentional.
The first rule of cats is "no."
The second rule of cats is "Fuck You."
I was hoping Jonathan Franzen would try something different for his next project.
There is also a culture war over (non-feral) dogs.
Pigeon feeders have been warned that their activity is citable, but I don't believe any war machinery is rolling yet.
What about trapping some of these feral cats to keep in a terrarium?
The next Awl meetup featuring exclusively people that that hate cats AND people that hate bikes will be held in the basement laundry room of Choire's building near the large front loading dryer.
@zidaane – Speaking of which, when IS the next meetup? I thought there was generally an early summer Brawl.
@zidaane If the outcome of that meeting doesn't entail chucking cats into the spokes of passing bikes I will be very disappointed.
Blinding the cats might not be the best answer. They'll shit all over his apartment.
@deepomega Better to shit in their owner's homes then sending their cat-shit into their neighbors' yards. Cat-owners use their cats like boom-boxes, it's a territorial thing. Can't shoot the boom-box, can't shoot the cat. I say you can and should. If you want territory, buy it. Don't steal it through manipulative means.
go. fuck. yourself.
*not in the good way*
Wow, my feral cat control only consists of a garden hose, fire crackers and a 9 year old cocker spaniel who is mentally unbalanced. I feel like such an amateur.
@SuperMargie
Well, I wouldn't suggest the laser blinding method much anymore. So you won't have to go that high-tech. But after reading that report about them passing disease to wildlife even in remote areas (thinking now that's how I lost a whole opossum family that would come to my door each night, but they ALL disappeared after I fed them cat-meat), I wonder now how many people are going to die this year from that disease, just by eating vegetables from their garden that their cats took a crap in? And the cat-lovers still rail-on with their cause with no remorse nor slightest concept of what they have actually done to the lives of all other humans and all other animals on this planet
It's not just a matter of trying to fend them off of your property now, you have to find a way to keep them from shitting on it too, or your wildlife or yourself can die from it.
It's time to pull out that rifle. Then dispose of them while wearing gloves, and getting rid of their remains in a way that no other wildlife or humans can come in contact with them again. However, if you still want to go all high-tech lasery, one could still come in handy to blind a cat to make them easier to approach, to then use lethal methods. That's what I'll be still using mine for.
Sociopaths doesn't even begin to describe what these cat-lovers have now done to all wildlife and all humans. How many hours of our lives are we now going to have to spend to clean up the disaster they created? Not to mention the uncounted human and animal lives lost because of them.
And still they feed their piece-of-shit feral-kitties without a thought nor care in the world beyond that. I don't think anyone can get more sociopathic than that.
p.s. Yours was the only post that made me laugh, but now … things have become too dire to laugh about any of this anymore.
Given that the Internet runs on cats, this cat hater should prepare to be tracked down and humiliated by Anonymous.
what drives a person to this extreme? simple-
come here…come here…i wanna pet you…come here…GODDAMN IT WHY DON;T YOU CARE ABOUT ME!!!??!!??!?!11
@brad Projecting again?
@Woodsman
Wussyboy! Hmnn… you threaten to shoot humans. You throw histrionic insults at cat lovers. You seem to compare certain sectors of the African American population to defecating invasive species. But you hide behind a pseudonym. So I am curious: were you born without cojones, or did a TNR accident in later life render you that way?
@Gerda Lobo@facebook "Don't bother wasting your time arguing with disrespectful, inconsiderate, and ignorant cat-lovers either, as I stupidly tried to do too many times in the past. Just do what needs to be done and there'll be nothing to argue about."
Got two more today. Seems that someone "adopted" some more feral cats in the area. They never learn. That's okay. My swamp has room for hundreds more. I found that none of the local wildlife will eat the dead cats, except for one 'possum family that gnawed on one once. But they only ate part of one cat's head and that was it. I even tried hacking them into quarters thinking that'd make them more palatable for the resident wildlife, but no good. So in the swamp they go. Too bad. For once they could have actually been of some use in the natural food-chain. Now they have to go further back into the chain–feeding leeches, flies, worms, and bacteria. It's all they're good for.
Oh, by the way. Do note who equated "inner-city youth" automatically with African Americans. That came from Gerda Lobo's OWN mind, nobody else's. I'm not African American but I bought one of the very first boom-boxes ever made. A Panasonic Montrose. Bigoted much? (Hah, the fuckhead idiot cat-lover outed itself as a blatant racist too! LOL!)
Woodsman, you are this sickest person I've ever read on the internet. I truly hope that someone "gets you" and "hacks you into quarters" before dumping your body into a swamp. That would be a rightful and just punishment for all the pain you've inflicted on those innocent (yes, innocent!) creatures.
May your life be full of misery and hardship.
Where'd that ocelot get such a tiny hand grenade?
Anyone against ANY animal are heartless. It speaks volumes about your character…end of discussion.
Kevin Sousa provides the typical hypocrite's reply.
Great! You're not against any animal in your yard and home. GREAT! You won't do ANYTHING about it! I'll notify your neighbors to take up a new hobby — raising rattlesnakes and black-widow spiders as pets. It's legal you know! And they are wild animals. They need their space to roam free, just like piece-of-shit cat-lovers claim for their favorite animal. These rattlesnakes and black-widow spiders can use the space in your OWN BACKYARD! Let's see what you do about them. ALL PERFECTLY LEGAL! LOL!
@Kevin Sousa Treat animals like people and treat people like family. Get a life Mr. Negativity.
btw: for the record, I would welcome venomous spiders and snakes on my land in a heartbeat. Unfortunately the climate here is too harsh for them. Unfortunately again, cats have no other predators here either. These venomous animals are far more important to the health and balance of a natural environment than any invasive-species piece-of-shit cat — an animal that only destroys everything in its wake. At least then the lousy cats would have something that could kill them all, I wouldn't have to waste my own time and bullets.