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Names of Children ("A Bunch Of Siblings And Pals") In J. Crew's Spring-Summer 2011 'Crewcuts' Catalog, In Order Of Appearance
• Isabela
• Finn
• Roman
• Bella
• Miller
• Walker
• Scout
• Gus
• Rocco
• Stella
• Ekaterina
• Miles
• Quincy
• Ava
• Amanda
• Sheldon
• Aiden
• Rashad
• Helena
• Georges
Amy Goldwasser lives and works as an editor and writer in New York's East Village. She is currently adapting the collection of essays she edited, RED: Teenage Girls in America Write on What Fires Up Their Lives Today, for theater and television.
Whew, dodged a bullet there.
@Clarence Rosario /Exaggeratedly wipes forehead./
"Walker" and "Scout"? Send up the Abe Sauer bat-signal.
of COURSE a Quincy.
@Daniel Roberts: And of course a token Rashad.
Gus will forever and always be the rotund mouse who helps Cinderella. Let's hope that kid is handy with scissors when there's a ball coming up.
Ekaterina? What?
@Leila Jane@facebook She was born during the dotcom boom. Her birth name was E-Katerina.
@Leila Jane@facebook It's a fairly common Southeastern European version of Catherine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekaterina
@cherrispryte Something something "Vampire Diaries."
There were a Rumer away from a Free Pretzel roll call from Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
This listicle could also be called "Names of My Lesbian Sister Who Lives in Santa Fe's Various Dogs, Cats and Chickens (Living and Deceased)." Though it would also need to include Taco, Queen Latifah and Spud.
@ejcsanfran exactly! a very large percentage of these are dogs I know, including mine – Miles. maybe in a year or two all kids will be 'fluffy' or 'goldie' or 'cookie' and all pets will be 'samuel' or 'oscar' or 'lyddie' … we're just in the middle of the transition at the mo'.
@ejcsanfran
The dog run in my neighborhood is full of dogs named Sam, Ruthie, Alice, Robert, etc. which gives it the air of a particularly rowdy kindergarten: "Charlie, stop eating shit! Hey, Lois is on the picnic table again!"
I hope people start naming their children Fido and Spot.
@ejcsanfran I'm LOLing at this, YES.
@ejcsanfran my dog's name is miles too! and i just recently realized the phrase "walking miles" has a double meaning, even though i've had him for years and years! ekaterina is a perfect cat name.
@City_Dater
I got to see George Carlin perform live in the early 90s, and he had a rant about using human names for dogs (sadly it doesn't seem to exist on YouTube). As I recall it, his rule was that only names that end in "Y" are acceptable for dogs: "Sparky, Maxy, Buddy, Marley. Any of those names are OK…" He paused as he thought about it for a second, and then added in a dark growl, "… except Anthony."
Miller?
@hockeymom middle name: High-Life
@Brunhilde: or 'S Outpost?
@hockeymom : Repo Man fans are, apparently, everywhere.
@Brunhilde It's the champagne of names.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose – A *true* Repo Man fan would name their kid child.
Georges? "We named him after George Foreman's kids. All of them."
@Brunhilde (Yes I realize that it's the French form of George)
@Brunhilde But if the kid's not actually French, let's go with explanation #1.
"Scout" is a dog's name. And "Roman" will inevitably get into fistfights in the schoolyard with Etruscan.
"Scout" is also an appropriate nickname for "Jean Louise"
Yes, No, No, Barf, Barf, No, No, Yes But Only If Short For A Legitimate Name And Not A Whole Name In And Of Itself, Are You Fucking Serious, Borderline, Only if Culturally Appropriate, No, No, Probably OK, Yes, No, I'm Going To Stop Fighting This One But I'm Still Dubious, Only If Culturally Appropriate, Yes, Not Even If Culturally Appropriate
@jfruh I may have just done some copy/paste/text-to-columns/transpose excel magic to figure out which one got the "Are You Fucking Serious". And I'm with you on Aiden.
(It was Rocco, if anyone else is wondering)
My daughter's name is in that list.
No, it's not Ekaterina or Scout. What kind of prat do you take me for?
@LondonLee: It's Rashad, innit?
@LondonLee I vote for either Isabela or Helena
@LondonLee nice
I see the kids-with-my-name trend shows no sign of abating.
@finn Some celebrity named her kid a variation, yeah? Julia Roberts? I have two friends who also chose this name (both before whichever celebrity did) who were PISSED when she chose it. One is Finneas and one is Finnegan.
Listicle Without Commentary:
2011 Listicles Without Commentary, In Descending Order of Length of Title
By Gef the Talking Mongoose @ 4:12 PM
38. Tracks From A K-Tel Compilation Tape I Purchased When I Was Nine Just So I Could Own The "Greatest American Hero" Theme Song, In Order Of How Frequently And Irritatingly They Pop Into My Head Unbidden Some Thirty Years Later
37. Stalkerish Subject Lines From Emails Sent By Colleges And Universities After My Daughter Took The PSAT, In Ascending Order Of Creepiness
36. Things Of Note That Have Happened In Central Florida In The Last Three Weeks, According To The Orlando Sentinel Breaking News Team
35. Names of Children ("A Bunch Of Siblings And Pals") In J. Crew's Spring-Summer 2011 'Crewcuts' Catalog, In Order Of Appearance
34. Rest Stops On The New Jersey Turnpike In Order Of Jerseyness, Worthiness Of The Former State Residents They Are Named After
33. Best Picture Nominee Titles Pornographized, In Descending Order of Translational Felicitousness and Ensuing Prurience
32. 41 Songs By Randy Newman You Should Listen To Before You Bitch About Music Written Expressly For A Childrens' Movie
31. 14 Serial Killers Who Were Never Captured, In Order Of How Frightening Their Media-Created Names Are
30. 25 Things Joe Wilson May Yell at Obama During the State of the Union in the New Era of Civility
29. David Bowie’s “Berlin Trilogy” In Ascending Order Of Plausible Thematic Interpretations
28. The Volumes Of Anthony Powell's 'A Dance To The Music Of Time' In Order Of Preference
27. 41 Movie Remakes That Would Destroy What Remains Of My Youth, In Order Of Heartbreak
26. 11 Dead Rappers, in Order of Greatness, on the 12th Anniversary of Big L's Murder
25. 49 World Leaders' Fake Twitters, In Descending Order Of Entertainment Value
24. "American Masters" Subjects Ranked in Order of Americanness and Mastery
23. 18 Deleted Comments From Sarah Palin's Facebook Wall, January 8, 2011
22. The Best Songs About New York That Don't Have 'New York' In The Title
21. Types Of Shoe That Look Most Out Of Place On New York City Sidewalks
20. Videos of Kids Training with Guns That Are Not Viral Ads for "Hanna"
19. 111 Male Characters Of British Literature, In Order Of Bangability
18. After 'Downton Abbey': 10 British Costume Dramas on Netflix Instant
17. Other Comedians Aflac Could Hire To Do The Voice Of The Aflac Duck
16. Popular Aspects of Celebrities And/Or Gadgets, in Ascending Order
15. 10 Rap Songs On Which Ladies Outshine Their Male Counterparts
14. After Tucson: 15 Pictures From Glock's Official Facebook Page
13. People Most Likely to Die in 2011, According to a Death Pool
12. 27 TV Shows They Killed Too Early, In Order of Heartbreak
11. 10 Best Los Angeles Thai Restaurant Website Soundtracks
10. 21 Blasters, Ranked In Order Of Apparent Usefulness
9. Eleven Wizards Of Things Who Are Not Actual Wizards
8. The Magnetic Fields' "69 Love Songs," In Order
7. The Next 16 Huffington Post Verticals
6. The NHL's Goal Horns, In Order
5. Ten Things The Size Of Texas
4. The Novels of Peter Carey
3. Nuts, In Order
2. Pies, In Order
1. Liquor
Gef the Talking Mongoose never, ever uses Excel for anything useful.
Tags: LISTICLE WITHOUT COMMENTARY, LISTICLE WITHOUT COMMENTARY OF LISTICLES WITHOUT COMMENTARY, INCEPTION COULD HAVE BEEN IMPROVED WITH SPREADSHEETS AND MAYBE A FLOWCHART, ALSO HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE
@Gef the Talking Mongoose UMMMMMM.
@Choire Sicha LISTICLES INSIDE LISTICLES.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose: Careful with that shit, or the entire internet will disappear up its own bunghole. And it's dark up there.
-1. Turkish Specials. (The Internet Prison antics, not the cigarettes.)
@Gef the Talking Mongoose: I would like to invite you to join our newsletter.
“One day I will find the right listicle, and it will be longform.”
-Jack Kerouac
@Gef the Talking Mongoose Hands over crown, cape, scepter; slinks away
@Gef the Talking Mongoose Is this the singularity?
@deepomega : Now that's the kind of meta I could get with getting down with.
@Choire Sicha : It was either this or a lengthy pastiche titled "How To Polish Your Fucking Shoes".
More disturbing is the ubiquity of pastels.
I thought listicles were the nuts of a guy who isn't getting any.
Testicles, In Order
Friends of mine gave their first child the name 'Tristan', the second 'Isabella.'
We're not that close anymore.
@Flashman : If they'd named their child "Tristram" and said they wanted to name him "Tristan," now that would've been gold.
Ridiculous
nice
very well said!
alright!
Good article
Nice information
Pleasant informative post. Keep posting. This does give us a lot of information. Cheerful posting.
some of these names are really nice
For some reason this list doesn't surprise me at all!
Ha! What a hilarious compilation of clichés!
(I refer of course to this: "lives and works as an editor and writer in New York's East Village. She is currently adapting the collection of essays she edited … for theater and television.")
Nothing more embarrassing than misspelling the title on the cover.
I got sheldon. This is a very challenging cut.
These actually all seem pretty reasonable to me. At least they're spelled correctly and most have some history of being used as human names.