Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

14 Little League Teams Of West Hartford, Connecticut, In Order Of Perceived Chances Of Victory Based On Team Name

14. Retirement Visions Dodgers

13. Connecticut Foot and Ankle Braves

12. Connecticut Shower and Bath Phillies

11. Totalvision Eyecare Center As

10. Rosenberg Orthodontics Tigers

9. We Care Computers Pirates

8. Blue Back Dental Reds

7. Viking Fuel Oil Orioles

6. Jewish Federation of Greater Hartford Brewers

5. Feigenbaum & Nair Scrap Metal Processing Cardinals

4. Best Smiles Angels

3. World Series Club Mets

2. Bloomfield Electric Padres

1. Herb's Angels

Josh Michtom is a juvenile court public defender in Hartford, Connecticut, and the proprietor of a tumblr full of silly drawings. He is also the head coach of the Viking Fuel Oil Orioles, who are 1-2 so far this season.

Photo by Ed Yourdon.

37 Comments / Post A Comment

hockeymom (#143)

Best Smiles over Herb's…and World Series Mets moves to #14.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@hockeymom I may have given the World Series Club Mets a break because I'm a Mets fan. It's no accident that the Byrne & Storm, P.C. Yankees didn't even make the list.

djfreshie (#875)


Absolutely agree – isn't World Series Club Mets an oxymoron?

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@djfreshie Hey now! It's only been [quiet sob] twenty-five years!

gumplr (#66)

@Josh Michtom

Someone please buy Billy Buckner III a junior golf club set before his childhood takes an unhappy bounce.

djfreshie (#875)

@Josh Michtom

Hey, don't look for sympathy from me. I'm a Maple Leafs fan.

IBentMyWookie (#133)

"Rosenberg Orthodontics Tigers" may be the best thing ever? Like, in life?

hockeymom (#143)

@IBentMyWookie I'm kind of loving the "Viking Fuel Oil Orioles." I have visions of flaming birds, hurtling toward the tiny opponents.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

How are you two ignoring the ELECTRIC PADRES? They are priests… but they shoot. Lightning. Fromtheirfingertips!

zoom (#10,138)

#6 SPEAKS to me as a German whose surname is Brewer.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@zoom It speaks to me as a Jew who wishes there were lots of Jewish brewers in the Hartford area.

theheckle (#621)

"Totalvision"? "Eyecare"? How German. Watch these kids. You'll let them build a lead thinking their relievers are crap. Then they'll strike. LIKE LIGHTNING.

zoom (#10,138)

@Josh Michtom It also speaks to me as a collector of Milwaukee Brewers caps that I never wear, out of shame and Rangers fandom.

dado (#102)

I once played for the Serendipity Book Shop Colts. True story.

iantenna (#5,160)

my little league did not have mascots, just sponsors. i have always been certain that being on "mayflower pub", or "gunning's hobbies", or "fairfax lumber", was so much cooler than being on the boring ass "reds" or "giants" or whatever. but, clearly, a league that combines the two naming conventions is the absolute tits, and "we care computers pirates" is the best thing i've ever read on the internet.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Really, aren't these kids already all victorious?

Morbo (#1,288)

@Abe Sauer

As long as they don't end up on Dale's Taxidermy Cubs, then yes.
The end of season party there is a bit…weird.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@Abe Sauer YES!!! And their jerseys are quite nice. Really high quality, not the super-scratchy polyester affairs of my youth.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@Josh Michtom I still have my red white and blue polyester jersey from when I played for Police Athletic League. Had I been a skinny hipster in college, and not a beer en-gutted slacker, it would have made the perfect ironic garment.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@boyofdestiny Damn! If only I'd kept all those Kahn's All Beef Franks Mets jerseys I got at Kids Jersey Day (which fell right around my birthday). I would have been THE HIPPEST in college.

keisertroll (#1,117)

@Josh Michtom I might still be able to fit my 1993 Audubon Tee Ball Democrats jersey. Also, I was totally the Satchel Paige of Tee Ball.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@keisertroll does that mean you started when you were, relative to the other kids, in your mid-40s? Like, you were 10?

keisertroll (#1,117)

@Josh Michtom I was 8 going on 9, and had a special needs exemption (what would now be called Asperger's). We did get to see Mickey Morandini walk his retriever on the other end of the field.

keisertroll (#1,117)

@keisertroll Come to think of it, I might've only been their Jesse Orosco.

hockeymom (#143)

My daughter's mite hockey team was "Gill Brothers Funeral and Cremation Services." True story. Also.

/they buried the competition. (I'm so ashamed I just typed that, but….)

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@hockeymom The forwards were incredibly fast skaters. There were some real burners on that team.

roboloki (#1,724)

they did face some stiff competition.

MParcells (#375)

I tried to write a cheer for the Feigenbaum & Nair Scrap Metal Processing Cardinals, but I failed.

@MParcells That's my favorite of this delightfully random list. I think they have to be underrated.

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

I was disappointed when The Electric Flag broke up, but at least it did give the world The Bloomfield Electric Padres.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

Blue Back Dental Reds! Why Blue Back…? What a strange name for a dentist's office. But for a team, TWO COLORS! They win. Best Smiles Angels goes last. This is baseball, not Handsome Boy Modeling School.

Josh Michtom (#6,069)

@whizzard Blue Back Square is a place in West Hartford.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@Josh Michtom That makes sense. Dental practice title: approved. Also, good luck coaching. I slowly became the coach of our adult baseball team, Bar 355 Oakland Beers, and it's not easy.

Herb's Angels is perfect, just amazingly perfect. Good list, Josh.

keisertroll (#1,117)

If I'm not mistaken the Connecticut Shower and Bath Phillies was where Chase Utley had his rehab assignment.

C_Webb (#855)

All the Little League teams in my hometown were sponsored by the Mafia. Lots of cement and "construction."

keisertroll (#1,117)

@C_Webb I think my town's Church of Scientology would've survived a bit longer had they sponsored a Little League team.

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