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Where Are the Children Going!
In New York City, U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan said there were 103,000 9th graders, but only 53,000 students in 12th grade. The audience gasped."My question to you is, where are they all going?" Duncan said.
Well, since no one seems to know, I'm going to guess that something from the sewers is eating them?
Uh, come on guys. This is easy. What's the main difference between a 9th and 12th grader? Size. And how do you think 12th graders get so much bigger? By eating their smallest classmates for four years.
Soylent green is freshmen!
Well usually by junior year, a good 10K leave because I've made them into women.
Those poor little boys!
He speaks from experience, folks!
Shouldn't we be asking why there are so many 9th graders?
Well, if you are talking about drop-outs, they all moved to Texas. We specialize in that here.
Ran away and joined the circus?
Duh, Choate.
The problem is that the average 9th grader is 17yrs old.
It's our fault, for not paying the Pied Piper to get rid of all the rats.
They're all at Arne's mom's house.
Or Stacey's mom.
I hear she has it goin' on.
Black market organ donors?
I can't believe no one said a beach in Long Island
ALSO YES I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR SAYING THAT
:(
Sigh. I know. It's just I don't know how so many ladies can go missing so easily. Just like I don't understand how +50% of students can disappear from high school without much notice.
Two questions: How many 9th graders were there 3 years ago? And what's the drop out rate?
Actually, (part of) it is probably that there are significant number of 9th graders in New York schools who get to high school and yet never technically pass enough classes to move on to the 10th grade, or 11th, or 12th. I teach 10th grade, and roughly 25% of my students are labeled 9th graders in the system (even though it is their second year in high school, they think they are in 10th grade, etc.). For example, the attendance for students supposedly in their 9th grade year at my school is usually around 70%, even though almost 90% of actual first-year 9th graders are in school every day. So there's a disparity! But the children are alive, generally speaking. Unless you ask them about symbolism.
Aren't these figures conclusive proof that all that is necessary for tricky people to triumph is that Yellow Dyno does nothing?