What if the Mail Service Was Some Hot New Startup?
"So, like, we need to send something important to someone somewhere else so you’re saying we just, uhh, leave it in a box by the street? And we’re just to trust somebody to come get it and make sure it gets to the right person?" That is an excellent point. Man, we would be on Quora mocking the heck out of that business model. And then? Our theorist goes on: "I think if mail were to be invented today, too many people would be a little bit too curious about how they could manipulate it and they would go online and join forums to discuss it and they would wind up creating this whole ecosystem of weirdos who are interested in screwing with the mail, feeding off each other and stewing in their own obsession until their sick little games are somehow legitimated by society to enough of a degree to validate it as something people are 'born with,' like furries and those guys who fuck pillows with faces stitched into them."
What about people who dress up in animal costumes and dress their pillows with faces up in animal costumes and then fuck the pillows?
A friend wants to know.
Tell you friend to visit my Etsy shop. I make my own yarn which is much softer than regular yarn. I also have a few close-out howling monkey pillows that are steal.
My friend isn't real, zidaane.
This is good because I don't really have an Etsy shop or know how to make yarn. I would like a howler monkey pillow myself though.
The options are disappointing.
You can imagine the ball rattling potential.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYtoz-t-bbY&feature=player_embedded#at=25
You guys, what is going on with links on Awl sites today?!? It's like Scott Walker's people suddenly got internet savvy and are fucking with us.
I like the mail. I also like talking on the phone, and watching TV on my TV, not on my computer.
Does anyone remember Kozmo.com? It was kind of like the U.S. mail, but instead of letters and packages, they delivered packs of gum.
They had one of their relay points near my old office. The messenger pool, the inventory, all semi-visible from the street, all completely baffling… A sort of "that's when I clicked 'close tab'" circa 199x.
I dunno man. The Postal Service blew up sorta huge, but I always thought they sucked.
Why be afraid of the past? There were some good things in the past, that we can put to good use.
How about Pony Express Tweets?
This is fucking stupid.
The concepts of valet parking and dry cleaning must positively baffle this guy.
YOU GIVE SOME STRANGE PERSON YOUR CAR AND THEY PUT IT SOMEWHERE WEIRD? THE HELL???
And you are expected to TIP THEM for this?!?!?!?
That is the EXACT SAME shirt I gave you last week only stiffer. AMAZING. I am going to double down and give you 2 shirts. Let's see how this plays out.
Well, um, it IS a terrible business model!
When did we decide that the USPS is supposed to be a business? The USPS is a service, much like the police department, the sewer system, interstate highways, etc. What kind of profit did your local school system run last year?
Businesses are created in order to turn a profit. No "business" would promise to deliver mail at those rates with hard limits on their ability to price their own products/services or even decide when/where to operate a storefront. It's fairly ridiculous that this idea of the USPS's responsibility to turn a profit (or even break even!) worked its way into so many minds. It is a fundamentally flawed perspective.
No duh! This is my point! Broseph's treating the USPS like a startup is like treating the fire department like a business. ("Wait, so, these dudes spray water on fires… that they take from the city… and they don't charge anyone for their services? And also they get to run red lights?!?")
Agreed, but we live in Capitalist Land, where it's considered heresy to have a not-for-profit service (managed by the Government no less!) It makes the Randroids cry.
Also, aren't there entire RAY JOHNSON groups of UNABOMBER people who ANTHRAX MAILER just muck about with AOL the mail?
A Canadian perspective: I think USPS is the bee's knees, silly business model or no! You guys don't know how good you have it. Try mailing things in Canada, where it can take a letter three days to travel one block.
Will trade USPS for socialized medicine.
Wait a minute, the government is going to protect this startup by making it a federal crime to mess with the little box or my package? Keep Uncle Sam out of my little box and package!