The Awl Bracket Contest Update: In Which Everyone Learns That TruTV Is Channel 779
Wow! Now I don't want to speak for everyone here, but I think we can safely say that the first two rounds of this tournament (I'm ignoring the nonsensical practice of calling the play-in games the first round. Is anyone who's not being paid by the NCAA actually calling it this?) have been pretty crazy! Equally exciting: the The Official 2011 Awl March Madness Bracket Tournament Challenge Sponsored By The Awl! Let's go through some of the highlights.
The Big East? More Like The Not-So-Good-At-College-Basketball-East! If you weren't following college basketball this year, there was a lot of talk about how the Big East conference was head and shoulders above everyone else. As it turns out, this is not really the case! Of the 11 Big East teams given bids to the tournament, only 2 remain. But, don't fret: Those of you who picked the Big East to excel at the women's tournament should know that the Big East is an incredible, undefeated, 9-0! Lol, jk. No one picked any teams for a women's college basketball bracket, ever. How many women's brackets do you think were filled out this year by not Barack Obama? Two? Three? Are these games even televised? Don't worry, people who are saddened by your brackets being ruined by the Big East sucking in the tournament, let's all share a big laugh at the expense of women's sports!
Buzzer Beaters! There were a lot of them! How exciting!
Children Make Mistakes! If you didn't catch the end of the Pittsburgh/Butler game, there was some controversy after a foul was called at the end of a tie game on a Pittsburgh player who was rebounding a missed free throw by his teammate. Now, if you aren't familiar with how this works, it's a pretty big mistake by the Pittsuburgh player to foul in that instance, although there's an argument for the fact the officials could probably just let that call not happen as it's the end of a tie game that would go to overtime and give both teams a chance to play an extra period of basketball in order to determine the winner. But back to Nasir Robinson, the Pittsburgh player who committed the foul: it's insane to think that there is so much pressure put on this kid, because, despite the fact that he's 6'5"/200+ pound huge basketball player, he's still a junior in college who was born in 1989 (1989!!!). I'm probably being a little more sympathetic than I would otherwise be because of ESPN's Fab Five documentary that showed Chris Webber's mistake in his final college game, and obviously that was a much bigger mistake on a much bigger scale, but, still, seems crazy to think that these kids handle that sort of pressure. (1989!!!!!!)
Can That NAPA Auto Karaoke Guy Ever Work Again?! I mean, the commercial should be applauded for being so standout, but don't you feel sort of bad for the guy in it because it seems like now that this is successful he's locked in to being the NAPA Auto Karaoke Guy forever, not unlike the Verizon guy or Jared Fogle. (Probably worth mentioning that he's also probably getting really rich off that commercial too, but still, FOREVER THAT GUY!)
The Awl Bracket Topped By "Bittersweet"! I would have more insights here, but everyone decided to come up with clever names for their brackets, instead of using their commenter names, making it mostly impossible for me to identify them and mock or laud them for being able to pick teams so well! To "Bittersweet"'s credit, although he/she/it claims to have picked "A completely random bracket" (the name of his/her/its bracket), it seems like there was at least a little know-how involved in his/her/its picking as he/she/it didn't pick, like, Wofford to win it all. So, kudos to you thus far!
As far as Awl contributors, Abe Sauer looks to be closest to the top. I can tell it's him because he thankfully made his bracket name the same as his commenter name. Tell me other people, was your bracket pun worth it? Was "Kenny Bracketface Edmonds" really that good of a joke that you couldn't pass it up? Think long and hard "Vicky J"! Amongst Awl staffers, Edith and Adam are performing the best, but will probably be undermined by the fact that they stuck to their WASP-y Northeastern roots (they're both from New England or some other really White people-y place) and both picked UConn to win it all, which, no matter how good Kemba is, isn't happening.
(Also, If you'd like to associate your bracket with your commenter name, feel free to put your bracket name below in the comments. This is not meant to be as comment bait-y as it sounds. Honestly.)
Pssst: "VickyJ" is a contributor.
Fun(?) fact: Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds Highway is a stretch of I-65 that runs through Indianapolis and you can take it to get to the NCAA Hall of Champions.
FML.
I overhauled my entire Yahoo presence so that my Awl username would show up. Isn't that enough for you!?
I've been using the same screen name for everything since 7th grade.
You can't tell at all.
I'm "bittersweet" and not "{kneetoe}," so I am winning and not sucking.
Yeah, buddy, I don't think so. Let me have my nanosecond in the sun, while my picks don't suck and UConn still has a chance.
Damn, I thought you'd be too busy staring at your name next to #1 to notice my little fib.
It's gonna be sweet when North Carolina goes down. Bittersweet.
(I keed, I keed. I love Bittersweet and hope she wins it all.)
My bracket is "What is this" and I'm in 403rd place, which is almost dead last. What I predicted!
(At least I'm beating Screen Name's bracket.)
I love Screen Name's bracket. He (she?) picked the underdog in every match-up except Kentucky, from which I can only conclude she (he?) is either from Kentucky or went there for school. Is there a prize for worst bracket?
Cho, Arizona would like an apology for your crack about discounting the Pac-10, hopefully between now and when Duke kills them.
Yay tied for almost dead last!
My strategy was simple: anticipating that the probabilities of me winning The Awl pool were very low, I wanted to try and pick the losers in every game in the hopes that there might be a small prize for having THE WORST BRACKET OF ALL BRACKETS EVEN WORSE THAN SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER ONCE WATCHED A BASKETBALL GAME (Choire).
If Kentucky (you are correct, it's my alma mater) wins I will not only have the worst bracket of all brackets, but the worst bracket of all brackets that actually selected the correct winner which, if the rules of the contest and points system are TOTALLY IGNORED, could theoretically be interpreted to mean that I finished first and last… at the same time.
I think a nice prize for me would be a light blue sweatband which reads in big red and yellow letters, "So very wrong, yet so very right." This would come in very handy for me at the Tuesday night meetings.
Naturally, everyone at the meetings would at first pretend to ignore the sweat band, but after about the third time of me casually taking it off and pulling it back like a slingshot and flicking sweat at Terry, he would finally say, "Enough! Enough with the fucking sweat band already! It's so gross, man." I would put my sweat band back on and apologize, of course. Then immediately take it back off and flick it at Terry again. Bruce, our group leader, would try to resolve the tension by telling a humorous anecdote about one of his former anger management patients, but before he is able to get to the part that is supposed to be humorous I would flick my sweat band at him. Bruce would become so enraged by this that he'd leap from his chair, tackle me and try to take the sweat band from me. We'd roll around in the middle of circle for a while fighting over the sweat band until it gets stretched out twice it's normal size and can no longer even be worn as a sweat band. "God! dammit!," Bruce would say as he stands up, running his fingers through his floppy brownish gray hair. We'd all notice his hands are still trembling with rage. For the rest of the meeting I'd just sit there not listening to Terry or anyone else while looking at my broken, stretched out light blue sweat band. After the meeting Janet would come up to me and say something like, "Sorry Bruce broke your sweat band. I thought it looked really good on you." She would say this and completely ignore the fact that I behaved like a petulant third grader. Then we'd walk over to that place across the street and have coffee together without saying anything like always.
u kno i luv u, screen name <3
The Schrödinger's cat of brackets!
Also, remind me around this time next year that I would rather lose by picking against Pitt and Texas every season for the rest of my life, than pin my bracket's hopes on these perennial do-nothings.
Two of my final four, with Pitt winning all! My bracket is the toastiest it's ever been.
As opposed to last year, when my similarly anagrammatically named entry was pretty accurate (at least as compared to other Awl commenters/readers/contributors), but my chosen national champion (K-State) also lost to Butler.
Also, I don't believe it has ever occured to Jared Fogle or the Can-You-Hear-Me-Now Guy and their hefty residuals that they were remotely deserving of any sympathy.
Yes, I pulled back a lot from the Big East after last year. Alas, I should've pulled farther back.
I'm ranked 60, which is okay for me since I don't know what I'm doing. My goal is always to end up somewhere in the top half. Though, two of the top 8 are already out on my bracket so, you know, I'll probably sink down some shortly.
We're tied, and if I go down I'm taking you with me.
AND I have Duke to win. Because I knew Corey Maggette a thousand years ago. Very rational, my little bracket. I had Pitt going down to Old Dominion. HA.
Looks like a bunch of us are at 60.
Go Tar Heels!
I am "blackjack_mully". I'm not winning.
notre dame can go suck an egg…. another one, i mean.
I am 357th. I am not winning. Also, it turns out that Charles Barkley was completely correct about the Big East while the slicker, more polished "analysts" on ESPN were wrong. So, will people continue to assume he's stupid because he speaks with a southern accent?
WHOA, there is something bigger happening here!
David Cho if you ever visited this website's comment section at all, you would know Bittersweet is a lovely lady! I forget what my bracket is called and have already forgotten my Yahoo ID.
Must be a Boston thing, Garge. I too have forgotten my bracket name and what my ID is.
thank you! i logged in to point this out. bittersweet is totes a regular.
Who's this David Cho character?
Some idiot who can't keep track of regular visitors.
(Just kidding, David, luv ya lots! You too, garge.)
Pop Socket (Awl) = yellojkt (Yahoo). Not that it matters since I had Notre Dame going to the championship game.
I'm ignoring the nonsensical practice of calling the play-in games the first round. Is anyone who's not being paid by the NCAA actually calling it this?
As someone who regularly works with the NCAA, I can unequivocally say: absolutely not.
Thanks for explaining that for me–I kept seeing "3rd Round" during the games yesterday, and I was wondering which producer at CBS was just bad at math.
Also, my bracket is named "Sad No Salukis". I am emphatically not winning.
I'm currently in 163rd place, which given the fact that I know nothing of basketball and had never heard of several of the competing colleges, I say not bad for me.
David, my bracket is called "Ned's Atomic Bracket." Be sure to WRITE THAT DOWN because I am currently in 206th place and in perfect position to make make a run from the middle of the pack up to the top of the standings during the next round — which was my strategy all along!! Things are ALL GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.
We're tied!!! And now I'm going to crush you.
No, wait, let's combine our brackets and see if that helps.
There are OTHER 206s? Can't I even have mediocrity to myself?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6Mh-3Lz4RM
Just so everyone else can experience the agony of having the NAPA commercial tattooed on their brain for all of eternity.
This is the best part of that ad.
Ha! That "petejayhawk" douchebag's entire username and avatar are based around a college sports team, but he's currently at 292. What an idiot.
Good thing I'm not THAT guy!
Given my pathetic showing with my bracket, and an impossibly low ranking (4 digits?!?!?) I'm pretty glad it's not associated with my commenter name right about now.
I changed my bracket name to include my username so that you can see how badly I'm doing after my zany picks for the final game, Pitt and Texas, both lost this weekend in modestly questionable buzzer beater finishes.
SPORTSBALLS!
I am tied at 36th. Who's with me?
We're 36, we're 36!
(and I helpfully named my bracket, "hockeymom", which stands for "hockeymom", which is Latin for "She Who Would Prefer To Talk Five-hole")
Let's do it. What's up with Yale getting the overall 1 seed? They lost to Air Force!
36! …but I have so very little points left to win, I'll be at the bottom soon.
I'm pulling for BC, but watch out for UMD!
Those out-there teams always frighten me. I couldn't even tell you what color Duluth's uniforms are.
Also, good man. BC is the pick!
UND, on the strength of Frattin.
And it pains me. Such a bunch of goons…historically and today.
Yee hah! Basking in my glory right now, which should be all too brief. My "little know-how" comes from watching ESPN at the gym with the sound off. Glad David Cho thinks I might be an 'it' and doesn't realize the effort I made to use my commenter name (instead of my indecipherable yahoo login) or the Awl-tastic referencen to the post about 'random' a few weeks ago. Hmph. *sulks in corner*
Hmm. Still too obscure. Then again, I'm a millennial who apparently has been misusing the term "random" forever.
Excellent tooltip, Cho
oh s/h/it