Sunday, February 27th, 2011
99

The Oscars! Let's Discuss Our Oscar Feelings Together


I'm actually scared about tonight! There are Strong Feelings about the films in contention and but also? Concerns about the hosting! Which may be magical. Or may be horrifi—oh my God, look at Andrew Garfield's hair.

What was I saying? The real fun will be in the comments here, I imagine. HAVE AT IT. Heart you all.

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99 Comments / Post A Comment

mathnet (#27)

Hello! The curtains are closed on Cate Blanchett's porthole!

She is my hero.

Abe Sauer (#148)

In case anyone's wondering on OTHER events. Minutes ago Repub. Dale Shulz said he is changing his vote on Walker bill.

mathnet (#27)

Who is he wearing?

Abe Sauer (#148)

Some designer named Everyone's Love.

ejcsanfran (#489)

@mathnet: 4 comments in and you may already be the winner!

Awesome! How many more votes do they need to force a change?

Abe Sauer (#148)

If Schultz news is true. Two. Just 2.

laurel (#4,035)

Union crew shoutout by the Inception cinematographer guy!

keisertroll (#1,117)

He's wearing Everybody's Love? He couldn't use a towel?

Abe Sauer (#148)

And police plans to remove protesters and close Capitol have been abandoned.

#56 (#56)

I read the police joined the protesters.

ejcsanfran (#489)

Why is James Franco being interviewed at the Hyatt Regency?

sigerson (#179)

And why is he already so high?

ejcsanfran (#489)

Practice, practice, practice…

Tim Gunn, you CANNOT just casually follow a view of what Mila Kunis is wearing with a shot of what Scarlett Johansson is wearing. A guy needs time to RECOVER. Why not just throw Portman in there for the trifecta, guy.

Smitros (#5,315)

He does have a different orientation, so he may not be seeing things the same way.

Still, one must respect the refractory period.

ejcsanfran (#489)

Bruce Cohen is lookin' hawt!

mathnet (#27)

"Alec likes for me to narrate his dreams."

keisertroll (#1,117)

This Back To The Future reference is probably the closest we'll get to a mention of Libya.

riggssm (#760)

Just a pre-emptive apology to all of the Awl if I post again later: I'm drunk and so in love with James Franco.

keisertroll (#1,117)

And a billion people are getting a contact high.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Way to jinx that trifecta, Tom.

ejcsanfran (#489)

Is it fair to make fun of the non-actors' appearance? Because this art director guy could use a little powder.

mathnet (#27)

Who will be Final Face in the death reel? Hopper? Nielsen? Curtis?

turd_sandwich (#5,660)

Would it be inappropriate to include a shot from the end of Easy Rider in said death reel?

mathnet (#27)

I hope not!

keisertroll (#1,117)

"Meet me with a saw because half of this is yours." – Charlie Sheen at his childrens' custody hearing.

WOW THIS OSCARS, JESUS H, HARD TO BE INVESTED IN MILLIONAIRE CULTURE PRODUCTS WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN TRY TO ENTERTAIN ME.

mathnet (#27)

But I really love that Miracle Whip commercial.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Kirk Douglas' speech makes me want a sequel to "Tough Guys".

mathnet (#27)

KIRK DOUGLAS CANE WHATTTTTTT

mathnet (#27)

Mila was scheduled to present immediately following her category?

mathnet (#27)

Oh. Ha. Idiot.

ejcsanfran (#489)

Mila Kunis' breasts are sublime.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Academy Award Winner Lee Unkrich? Academy Award Winner Lee Unkrich.

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

Everyone does look a little grey tonight.

And my Awkward meter already hit 10, and I was forced to turn to the Weather Channel. Please get better!

ejcsanfran (#489)

Reminder: white and cream do NOT go together; it's either one or the other.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Put Steve Martin in Alec Baldwin's body and you've got the writer of The King's Speech.

ejcsanfran (#489)

J'aime Helen Mirren. C'est tout.

mishaps (#5,779)

If Anne Hathaway could have held it together, Franco might have saved that terrible number.

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

You know, there's pills called beta-blockers. You can take them to mask the physical effects of nerves. People who are nervous, say, flying. Or speaking in front of millions of strangers. I wish everyone knew this.

mathnet (#27)

Could somebody remind Christian Bale of his wife's name?

blily (#1,411)

That was my thought. Then when it was clear he was actually choked up with appreciation, I thought it was really sweet. Then I wondered if he's usually just a nightmare to be around, and knows it.

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

Atticus clearly rocks so much harder than Trent.

ejcsanfran (#489)

ScarJo's dress is just lovely – I so wish she'd combed her hair, though.

mathnet (#27)

AND LEARNED HOW TO WALK IN HEELS

That's looking like an early 90s Aussie Sprunch Spray 'do to me.

Guys, what is this broadcast? Like I know we make fun of the Oscars for being really bad every year, but I mean it this time. I'm an Oscars geek and I'm having an awful time.

ejcsanfran (#489)

It's atrocious – and not even in a fun way.

I know, usually it's a total circle-jerk which I often secretly love. This is just so so so bad. The poor gays! Your super bowl is ruined!

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

I know right? It's not just the awkward moments (see above), or the lame jokes (which happen from year to year), or the not-great host (looking at you, Franco, and I'm sorry I love Freaks & Geeks but you're killing me). It's poorly staged, with people missing their marks and stuff.

Well fuck it. Let's hope for some big falls and fuckups to solidify it at the bottom.

Totally, Grant. It's a mess out there! The writing, the direction, the staging…
I blame it on the fact that Shankman isn't directing this year – at least then we'd have cheesy song and dance numbers! If Franco keeps toking backstage there's still hope that he'll do something completely ridiculous that will actually make this worth watching.

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

Christ it's Randy Newman. He works on ONE MOVIE A YEAR and somehow always ends up performing at the Oscars.

ejcsanfran (#489)

Please name one person who can tolerate his shitty music – and my Fox-News-believing dad doesn't count.

ComradePsmith (#4,477)

Well, if the Randy Newman-ness of Randy Newman turns you off, I would suggest the Nilsson sings Newman album. Also works as a good greatest hits of his early songs. And he was once great.

How can you not like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt1ffPf59aQ

ComradePsmith (#4,477)

And I think your Fox-News-believing dad should listen to more Randy Newman songs. (Unless he thought "Rednecks" was a compliment…)

barnhouse (#1,326)

Ha that just made me remember the They Might Be Giants song about the redneck friends, yay. (Also I love your moniker there, ComradePsmith. There is an Honoria Glossop around here somewhere too as I recall.)

hockeymom (#143)

Is Randy Newman contractually required to be nominated for an Oscar every year?

LostInSF (#563)

this is what you get when you try to make the Oscars 'young and hip'. lame-o. impossible. just keep it old and classy.

So God of Love really was a student film??

mathnet (#27)

Yup. And it was not horrible!

mathnet (#27)

But, I mean, what is he supposed to do now?

Oh great. Give them more ammo.

mathnet (#27)

Correct.

I dunno. As soon as I saw that shot of the Statue of Liberty, I thought, "Oh, no. Promutheus."
(Or alternately, "So aloooooooooooone!")

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

Is that auto-tune the news doing this? Youtube finally makes good.

mathnet (#27)

CREEPY.

Billy Crystal cocktease is not appreciated. Also Bob Hope's turn at dancing with a Hoover is equally unnerving.

Grant G Brown (#3,366)

I`m not bored yet, but I should be. Having a laptop beside me helps, I guess. This year is compellingly unentertaining.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Randy Newman deserved an Oscar for scoring the "I LOVE LA" scene in Naked Gun.

mathnet (#27)

What was that all about? Why did somebody and Francis Ford Coppola and Eli Wallach just get introduced and then do nothing?

I think maybe they were too bored to go through with whatever they were supposed to do?

turd_sandwich (#5,660)

Warren Beatty is responding to some alternate version of reality. Anyone see the interview with him and Annette Bening on the way in?

He looked terrifyingly out of it. I'm frankly worried he might be ill.

mathnet (#27)

PREACH, Spielberg.

Welp, in the words of Norm MacDonald (via twitter), you were the 83rd best hosts ever.
Ooof. Good night and good luck, everyone!

Vulpes (#946)

Well, that was… something. I didn't see any of the Oscar films this year, so I didn't really care one way or another about "mistakes" or "snubs," but it really did pan out how everyone predicted, didn't it? I'm very happy that Mr. Darcy won, though.

Fashion-wise, Cate Blanchet's dress looked like it had acne, but yet, somehow, she still managed to look radiant as ever. How DOES she do that? I also j'adored Anne Hathaway's last dress. Very slinky and chic.

Speaking of Anne Hathaway… that pooooooooor thing. James Franco was just a dead, stone weight around her leg. I've never gotten in him in the least, and I certainly don't now. The man is stoned so much he can't open his eyes all the way anymore! And, yeah, the material was, as ever, crap (seriously, how does Bruce Vilanch still work?), but I'm sorry, that's not an excuse to check out, as he so obviously did. Yes, we know you're cool, James. Now do your job!

But I think there's one thing we can all come together and agree on, whether we were virulently anti-King Speech (holla, Riggssm) or pulling for a surprise Winter's Bone upset: that silver fox TKS producer is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Blanchett looked GLORIOUS! Though her dress looked somewhat washed out during the game as compared to the pregame show.

Vulpes (#946)

I don't know about those lime green splotches, though. But, really, the woman can wear a sack and look good. I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world (which shows how gay I am, because I have a feeling straight guys would just look at me like I'm crazy; not enough boobs).

I'm a lady, so probably the same caveat applies (though I definitely want to do sex to particular ladies), but I COMPLETELY agree. She's mesmerizing!

And the lime green was actually the specific part that I thought worked terrifically in the outside light, but lost a little something under the auditorium lights.

Vulpes (#946)

I didn't watch the pre-shows, so I didn't see her in the natural light. I'll have to see if I can find a picture.

And though I am gay, I would totally do the sex to her. But I don't know if it's because I think she's so beautiful, or because she's Galadriel and I'm an enormous nerd.

riggssm (#760)

Hey Vulpes, we agree many times on Bruce Vilanch!

I'll leave the silver fox producer for you if I can take Franco home. (He's actually already back on the East Coast, crazy kid.)

Vulpes (#946)

Deal, riggs. (He was probably so high he floated back to the East Coast on the jet stream.)

Bruce Vilanch is amusing enough when he's on Hollywood Squares or whatever, but I simply don't understand how year after year of horrible "banter" and terrible jokes that everyone complains about equals a sinecure as Oscars writer. I mean, all those people in Hollywood and they can't even find a hack to come on and at least shake things up a bit?

riggssm (#760)

Ricky Gervais, Saunders/French, or really anyone else English would serve the ceremony well with ungoverned tongues and mockery of the arrogant circle-jerk the thing kinda is.

Vilanch is really only funny when Whoopi is there to finish the joke for him (and deliver it).

Vulpes (#946)

Oh God, French & Saunders would be EPIC! Can you imagine the get-ups? The parodies? Heaven.

Okay, hold up. How did Anne Hathaway have time to get a manicure in between the red carpet & her first "look"???

HiredGoons (#603)

Kenneth Anger Magick.

alorsenfants (#139)

I will admit I scrolled through the comments quickly — so may have missed something pithy — but had to work tonight, and missed much of the show…
But didn't these movies fail to work as movies anyways?

Hey stop picking on Randy Newman — the soundtrack stuff he does is silly… but did any of you make a record as nice as "Good Old Boys""?!

HiredGoons (#603)

was anyone waiting for that first .com thank you speech reference as much as I was? good night.

Mackenzie Kelly (#8,235)

Bob Hope was the best thing on the show,

Vulpes (#946)

Because when one is going for the "youth demographic," one immediately thinks, "Bob Hope!"

Vulpes (#946)

I really don't understand the Oscars. Every year is a "salute to Hollywood" where they trot out all the great old movies from Hollywood's Golden Age to pat themselves on the back about how great they used to be and still are. They go after the "youth demographic" by putting up two young, "hip" hosts with the same hoary old jokes as usual, and then throw it to Billy Crystal for a salute to Bob Hope, who no one under 25 even knows. Really, just accept your old fuddy-duddiness and I think more young people would be inclined to watch, just because they'd know they wouldn't have some cringe-inducing pandering to put up with.

riggssm (#760)

I'm not sure the under 25s know Billy Crystal much less Bob Hope!!

KarenUhOh (#19)

If there's a God Kirk Douglas will outlive them all.

MythReindeer (#5,553)

If he's gonna fulfill his contract appearing as every one of The Walking Dead on AMC, then let's hope so.

I have a feeling. And that is while John Galliano deserves the benefit of the doubt as regards recent allegations (not guilty! Can't be guilty!) of racism, the Nicole Kidman dress most definitely merited a tiny time-out.

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