Friday, February 18th, 2011
88

Email is Over

Here is what is happening now: people have become unwilling to send emails. They're too cumbersome, they're too long and there's actually not an app for that. And no one wants to type that long on their devices, plus they're already logged in to their social medias and whatnots.

Here are some things that I have seen this week:

• People replying to my emails… by randomly putting their response on Twitter.

• People replying to emails… by way of AIM.

• People following up on emails that haven't been answered yet… by Gchat.

• People sending messages on Twitter to ask what my email address is. Because of course you'd know the Twitter handle but not the email address, which used to be the most important thing in the world.

• Someone picking a fight on Twitter, and someone else was like, "Hey, let's take it to email, here's mine!"… but then they never emailed. They can't! They're too busy Tumblring and Twittering to send an email.

• I recently witnessed an entire passive aggressive confrontation occur in the comment sections of other people's Tumblrs! It wasn't even taking place on their own Tumblrs! That's just how distributed conversation has gotten.

I mean it made sense when we all gave up the phone, because the phone is a nightmare, and also there's not written record to a phone conversation. But email??? Email was good! This is totally a thing. Let a thousand 140-character think pieces bloom!

88 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

Like the cat, I stick my tongue out when I'm typing paw-fistedly, just smashing my palms on the keyboard. Concentration is important.

Matt (#26)

This is bullshit and I see it creeping and I hate it. I will never stop emailing you. I dislike, distrust, and would like to disabuse the world of IM and Twitter scares me and you'll pry the email from my cold, dead hands.

#ASK ME ABOUT MY BACKCHANNEL

GiovanniGF (#224)

Er, I think you're single-handedly responsible: http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/gmail-inbox-too-little-too-late

jolie (#16)

I hate change.

Actually, change can often be useful to purchase little items out of vending machines. I love change. In small quantities, of course.

C_Webb (#855)

I also hate the phoney part of my phone, so yay Choire.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I hate everyone else's 3G phones. -flips the Razr V3 like a bird-

Matt (#26)

Right on, Art, I hate all those $8 phones too.

Actually, there IS an app for email.

jolie (#16)

I recently witnessed an entire passive aggressive confrontation occur in the comment sections of other people's Tumblrs!

ALSO AND HELLO LINK PLEASE??

SquarePeg (#1,098)

I think I might be in love with you.

I'm pretty sure you saw it. OR WERE A PARTY TO IT.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

WHICH ONE.

jolie (#16)

@Choire: I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

Related: This week can fuck itself raw.

shaunr (#726)

Show me one photo of Cat where he doesn't look angry. GO ON. (how are you, anyway?)
best, S.

\|||/
(o o)
—-ooO-(_)-Ooo——–

shaunr (#726)

Ha, html will never catch on…half Latin and half Greek &c

|_| |_|
| | /^^^\\ | |
_| |_ (| \"o\" |) _| |_
_| | | |_ (_—_) _| | | |_
| | | | | | _| |_ | | | | | |
| | / \\ | |
\\ // /(. .)\\ \\\\ /
\\ / / / | . | \\ \\ \\ /
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areaderwrites (#592)

It's just too damn bad that email is over. Now no one will ever be able to get in touch with me again. Whoo-hoo, more free time for me.
/doesn't text, cellie for emergencies only.

Is this because I called you a faghag on Twitter?

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Thank you for your post.

I am currently out of the office with limited access to blog comments. I will be returning to the office on February 19, 2011. For immediate assistance with an urgent situation, please contact my assistant, saythatscool, at @saythatscool.

Regards,

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.¸¸.•´¯`♥ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. — Mark Twain ♥.¸¸.•´¯`

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Art Yucko (#1,321)

"choke on this sig."

NinetyNine (#98)

Brad Nelson
Music Writer
Writhing Display
http://unbornwhiskey.tumblr.com

Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Brad Nelson
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Matt (#26)

Life is Bard, here is nothing.

cherrispryte (#444)

NOT FAIR MY FATHER HAS THAT MARK TWAIN QUOTE IN HIS EMAIL SIGNATURE AND I NEARLY JUST CHOKED I LAUGHED SO HARD.

ignerd (#9,456)

I blame the shitty fucking email client and notification system on the iphone. Also, all those fucking shitheads with iphones.

This is why I stick to fax.

shaunr (#726)

Talcum powder?

Shoals (#7,895)

I prefer the phrase "totally canceled" and will not apologize for that.

barnhouse (#1,326)

I will not give up the email because you can ramble on and on plus privacy. What if you want to say sweet nothings or injudicious comments? Just the other day I had only the recipient's Tumblr and was therefore reduced to Asking on Tumblr but then realized that if the other party were to Answer, my original correspondence would be out there for all to see. Horrible. Email has privacy and it therefore is invaluable #likewritingarealletter

SEE? The Internet is FORCING YOU OFF EMAIL.

barnhouse (#1,326)

Just the one time, and it filled me with fear and sadness.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

I have had to use Tumblr's "Ask" for several conversations recently, and it is just the worst PM system, in every way imaginable. I get that they're trying to preempt formspring, but yeesh. Give us more reply options at least.

Joey Camire (#6,325)

I love e-mail, I love iChat, but fuck me do I hate twitter. I know you guys are doing the "20 to follow" thing and what have you, but seriously, how long did that take to compile? All I ever see is the most vacuous collection of 140-character blather all in one easy to digest place.

Please, more posts on who I should follow on Twitter.

COMING RIGHT UP.

keisertroll (#1,117)

I can't wait for Choire's "20 PEOPLE TO RANDOMLY E-MAIL AT THREE IN THE MORNING" list.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Also, Choire's "20 PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE MY NAME" list.

I'm stuck at 13.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Oh my god. That first thing would actually be really hilarious.

That second thing? I think it would be weird if I made an effort to learn to pronounce a name I have NEVER HEARD SPOKEN ALOUD because I have NEVER ACTUALLY MET THAT PERSON. I think I would be weirded out if people on twitter learned to pronounce my surname.

jolie (#16)

This seems like a good place to mention something that I found COMPLETELY hilarious: Apparently during and after the last Awl Bawl people (like, maybe a lot of people?) emailed notes@theawl to say God knows what, which just slays me for a reason I can't articulate but know most of you will understand.

cherrispryte (#444)

Is a lot more than two?

caw_caw (#5,641)

The 20 People to email at 3 in the morning idea is genius

hman (#53)

Balk always emails me back – I dunno what you're talking about.

jolie (#16)

Balk replies to emails via a teletype machine.

Matt (#26)

Balk replies to my emails via carrier "Who Was That Pigeon?"

Matt (#26)

Balk replies to my emails with custom labels from Knob Creek. (But no bourbon the bastard.)

hman (#53)

Well, that's more than I get. I send him links to "Chris Christie is Fat" stories and all I get back is "Too easy."

jolie (#16)

Listicle Without Commentary: Alex Balk's Auto-Replies in Order of Balkishness

1. Awww
2. Yeah I remember last week/year
3. It's a funny old world
4. What a world
5. Thanks kiddo
6. …

Matt (#26)

7. ::glub::

hockeymom (#143)

I prefer to conduct all correspondence through mime.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

I've always been more of a semaphore guy, myself.

shaunr (#726)

Great to see you got out of that glass box.

brent_cox (#40)

There are also the people, who maybe are not so Internet-smart, who insist on emailing you through FB.

HelloTitty (#830)

Well see now that's interesting. I only email through FB when I don't want the recipient to know my email address because my email address is like my phone number. It's personal! I don't want to be handing that out willy nilly. I may be one of the few who uses FB to keep people away from me as social alienation is much more fun that social networking.

roboloki (#1,724)

YES! won't someone start an antisocial network please?

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Antisocial network, yes. That needs to be a thing, rather than e-mail is over being a thing.

brent_cox (#40)

@Hello that is interesting, and that would be a good use of FB. But my guys are guys who are legit friends/family who should know that the extra layer of ad-supported mediation drives me bonkers.

Matt (#26)

TO WIT: I just thought better of posting something on dumblr and sent it to the backchannel instead. THE PAST IS NOW. HATE THE FUTURE IS NOW.

roboloki (#1,724)

i like using smoke signals but i never get a reply.

osmium (#7,705)

EMAIL IS DED, LONG LIVE BACKCHANNELS

Matt (#26)

Email is dud.

osmium (#7,705)

HOLD ON MATT I HAVE TO BACKCHANNEL YOU ABOUT THAT DUD

osmium (#7,705)

MY WORK MESSED UP MY W-2 FORM SO I SENT THEM A FUCKING BACKCHANNEL ABOUT IT. HA THEY WON'T DO THAT AGAIN.

Matt (#26)

Hesher Patios is like the backchannel… for people who actually have glogins

Tulletilsynet (#333)

What about communicating with people that you can't stand and from whom you seek to insulate yourself? No substitute for an e-mail interface with business contacts, huh? Or what? I am asking this on behalf of a friend.

BadUncle (#153)

Well, I respond to email through the miracle of a Stripper Gram, unless I'm angry. Then I respond with an Upper Decker.

sajrocks (#2,067)

Aha. This explains why members of the media have been responding to my mass emailed press releases a lot more lately. No one to hear them type.

InfoMofo (#505)

Also, people who think that my facebook messages, or even worse, my facebook wall, is a good alternative to e-mail.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

You friended my mom?

City_Dater (#2,500)

People who use a Facebook wall for anything more personal than a brief birthday greeting are just asking to be slapped.

I'm not giving up email. I'm old. You can't force me onto Twitter and I find Gchat intrusive and obnoxious. I'LL GET TO YOU WHEN I GET TO YOU.

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

I will not stop emailing you, over and over and over again!

Matt (#26)

MC! RIB! MC! RIB! MC! RIB!

Abraham Epton (#4,025)

Meh. People have been saying this for years, and it's never remotely happened. Email is no longer the *only* form of electronic communication, and perhaps the writing is on the wall, but it won't stop being tremendously useful for pretty much everything for several years at least. It's too simple, versatile, robust, decentralized, ubiquitous and (yes!) efficient to disappear entirely. I work at a tech company and email is constantly being used for pretty much everything, even alongside heavy users of social media.

Leon (#6,596)

.. -.-. — — – ..- -. .. -.-. .- – . . -..- -.-. .-.. ..- … .. …- . .-.. -.– – …. .-. — ..- –. …. – …. . -.. .-. .. -. -.- … -… — ..- –. …. – ..-. — .-. -..-. .-.. . ..-. – ..-. — .-. -.-. …. .- .-.. -.- -… — .- .-. -.. .- – .-.. ..- -.-. -.- .—- …– .-.-.-

Leon (#6,596)

Oh, there's also the drinks bought for / left for board at lucky 13. that is almost as good.

Vulpes (#946)

Viva la Email!

Rod T (#33)

Call me and let's talk about this.

HiredGoons (#603)

you forgot the asterisk.

KarenUhOh (#19)

You know, this is what pisses me off about the Internet. I'm sidelined by work yesterday so I don't see this till this morning. I know my comment, instantly. There are 83 in the queue before me. But NOBODY will have mine.

So, I scroll down, reading the mirth and the myth and the rant and the reek and a lotta Jolie doin' that Jolie Rag (it's A FONDJOKEDAMMITLACEDWITHTRUEFONDNESSANDRESPECTANDSHIT), all of which I love/like, and, I'm down to 70some comments and of course no one's been within gunshot of mine and then this.

Rod. . .Rod, of all people: Mr. OldSchool Pith, lays out with the "Call me." Fucking A. Are my eyes tired.

Anyway. What was this all about? Choire, send me an e-mail explaining when you have a minute.

TimChuma (#9,158)

Went to a literary event about actual letter writing on paper last month, was great. Email is still the best for mass communication as some people will not go on Facebook or cannot do so at work.

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

I dare you guys to bust out a typewriter at work and see what your coworkers & office guests have to say about it.

I DARE YOU.

SheBOFH (#9,981)

If you want to see what our future looks like, read Super Sad True Love Story. I can't look at people texting the same way anymore.

Bridget Callahan (#5,234)

Wait…AIM?

sigerson (#179)

I am in email contact with Jack Dorsey. He still uses it "to create a record".

hrayovac (#8,439)

So email is now like the old days of hand writing letters..good! Less people online will know that I was on a bender last night with a woman I wasn't supposed to ..uuuuh.

SeaBassTian (#281)

OK, get back to me when they've eliminated wiseguys who try & strike up nonsensical small talk at bus stops and I'll totally be on board!

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