Monday, January 10th, 2011
13

The Aliens Are Going To Use Us All For Parts

Here's a new thing to fear:

When considering the prospect of alien life, humankind should prepare for the worst, according to a new study: Either we're alone, or any aliens out there are acquisitive and resource-hungry, just like us.

These two unpalatable options are pretty much the only possibilities, according to the new study. That's because evolution is predictable, and alien biospheres should thus produce intelligent creatures much like us, with technological prowess and an ever-increasing need for resources.

That is terrifying enough on its own, but grows considerably more horrific when you consider how probe-happy your average alien is. Be afraid!

Photo by Ricardo Alonso, from Flickr.

13 Comments / Post A Comment

Isn't this what Arizona's immigration laws were designed to protect us against?

dado (#102)

Wait until we find out they have unobtainium…we'll show them who's boss.

MikeBarthel (#1,884)

I like that you can basically replace the word "study" with "highdea" and have it still make sense.

Leon Saint-Jean (#6,596)

I'm sure you mean well, but if you only knew, you would wish you were in my shoes. These aliens can keep on using me until they use me up.

keisertroll (#1,117)

I'm not worried. I've seen BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

cherrispryte (#444)

So, essentially, all aliens are of the 456 variety?

Except that once you've figured out the technology to travel beyond your own star, you may have also figured out things like fusion and are well on the way to becoming a post-scarcity society.

BadUncle (#153)

Though if any knife-missiles show up, I'll do as they ask.

I for one would welcome our Culture overlords.

HiredGoons (#603)

"and alien biospheres should thus produce intelligent creatures"

I completely read 'alien blogospheres' and I was like… that's not how it works!

This reminds me of my unproduced John Milius project: Lizard People V. Second Amendment.

Bittersweet (#765)

So Under the Skin is non-fiction? Terrified now.

DeSilva Surfer (#2,772)

"We've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes and all that we have learned is that 1 in 10 doesn't really seem to mind."

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