Dear NYC Young People: You Never, Ever Call an Emergency Locksmith

Sooner or later in many a young person’s life, he or she moves to New York City and is then fairly promptly locked out of his or her terrible first apartment late at night. When this happens, you young people should know, the answer is go sleep at a friend’s house, or pick up someone in a bar and sleep at their house, or sleep in a park, even if it gets you hassled by a cop and it’s 20 degrees out. This is what happens pretty much, without fail, when you call a locksmith at 1 a.m. We’re sorry we didn’t let you kids know this sooner. (Later we’ll tell you about the deli sushi and some other things.)