Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
60

Remember That Time Everyone Threw Up on the Internet?

Remember that time—hint: most recently, that time was last night—that seemingly everyone that partakes in the Internet watched the premiere of a TV show, and were aghast, and kept putting their aghastness on their Twitters and their Tumblrs, making the Internet nearly unusable due to constant expressions of aghastivity? Yet apparently no one ever thought to actually get up and turn off the TV! Or to at least suffer in silence? I mean, not to say that all of Twitter and Facebook and the like isn't already actually noise, because who cares what we ate for dinner/threw up in the morning/did to our cats? But on some level it's like the way Google is struggling with spam farms. Currently, learning anything on the Internet is next to impossible. We're drowning in hastily-written, inexpert, uneducated directions on how to tie ties and how to trim your cat's nails and EIGHT THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH PERSIMMONS, all of which have at least one fundamental error that will result in your poisoning or your cat's bleeding all over the house or you looking like an idiot at a fancy function. It's a mess out here on the Internet! In other, totally unrelated news, don't you just want to enter into a committed love-polygon with at least three cast members of "Downton Abbey"? I can't stand it. What's that? You've been too busy being aghast at crap? Here, PBS' cut of episode one is online! You're welcome.

60 Comments / Post A Comment

THIS TIMES A MILLION. SEE ALSO THE 'WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT [BLANK]' POSTS THAT ARE JUST DESIGNED TO SUCK UP SEO.

God.

I WAS HOPING THIS WAS ABOUT FLOOR TOAST

roboloki (#1,724)

or maalox®

deepomega (#1,720)

So have you heard about this new show called Skins? I think MTV is really onto something.

saythatscool (#101)

It will never be as good as the book.

ShanghaiLil (#260)

I'm still aghast that anyone makes a point of watching MTV.

brent_cox (#40)

Yes but, collective disapproval means that the eminence of the collective is ratified. I learned that from the kids that made fun of me in junior high.

akd (#751)

But which three cast members?!?

HelloTitty (#830)

ANY three! But I open the bidding at Thomas, Kamel Pamuk, and Sybil.

MikeBarthel (#1,884)

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MikeBarthel (#1,884)

PS The things to do with persimmons makes me want to do things to persimmons. Hoshi gaki!

facepunches (#7,757)

For the record, the little box under the article reads as follows:

AROUND THE WEB:

- 4 Myths About Alcohol (HealthGuru.com)
- 6 Strange but Real Addictions (HealthGuru.com)
- Short Hairstyles for Every Hair Type (Daily Glow)
- 5 frugal lessons from the Depression (BankRate)
- Female Incontinence a Prevalent Problem (Health.com News)

NO ESCAPE

cherrispryte (#444)

Since you mentioned this, I would like to point out that the Short Hairstyles for Every Hair Type do not have a single Short Hairstyle for curly hair. NOT A ONE.

Multiphasic (#411)

Your hair doesn't exist. QED.

Aatom (#74)

I got "10 Tips for Managing Adult ADD/ADHD," which seems rather appropriate.

Murgatroid (#2,904)

I hastily concluded from the ten minutes of Downton Abbey that I watched the other night that it's basically a low-rent Gosford Park.

riggssm (#760)

Ha! It indeed was created and written by Julien Fellowes … right down to even duplicating a gay footman (for the bisexual valet/actor from Gosford). I'm enjoying it for the solid production values. Few US shows do it this well.

Yes, and as GOSFORD PARK is one of my favorite movies of all time, I really, really enjoy Downton Abbey. I am also a serious Julian Fellows fan and think that one of the themes he keeps coming back to is the impossibility of keeping a grand English manor house in the twentieth century. In GOSFORD PARK, at the end there's a mention that the family will probably end up selling the estate. In SNOBS, Edith meets the Lord Charles Broughton while she is touring his country home (because that's the only way his family can afford to keep the place). And in his latest novel, PAST IMPERFECT, the narrator often mentions how now that the large houses of England's past are either kept by the foolish or the extremely wealthy because they are nothing but a money sink. The means of keeping the old class system are no longer feasible and the trappings of that system, as well as the romanticizing of that system, are slowly being seen as impractical.

Vulpes (#946)

I don't know about "low-rent." It's absolutely gorgeous!

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I'm proud that I'm not bothered by the fact that I have no idea what any of this is about. Does that mean I'm getting old?

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Yeah, I don't read Twitter at night, so I seem to have missed something.

BadUncle (#153)

You're not marooned in solitary ignorance. I'm seriously aghast at my decreasing TV literacy.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Yeah, I was busy getting drunk at a book club meeting. Does that make me a loser or a winner?

saythatscool (#101)

It's about MTV's Skins. You're welcome.

saythatscool (#101)

It's some sort of teen golfing show if I understand the title correctly.

BadUncle (#153)

Golf clap and murmured guffaw, STC.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Until that summarizing comment not far above, I was pretty sure Choire was talking about a show called "Downtown Abbey," which.

garge (#736)

If you're me, it means that you don't have cable and the jig is up.

egg cream (#4,667)

It really was bad, though.

jaimealyse (#647)

YAY! Cause not that I live with anyone who knows how to try this for me, but apparently Downtown Abbey is NOWHERE on the torrents.

If torrents are a thing that shows are "on."

mishaps (#5,779)

Try Downton Abbey, no second W. I'm told by a fairly reliable source that you'll find what you're looking for.

Not that I have any idea what you're talking about.

jaimealyse (#647)

Look at me, learning how to read words! I had no idea.

Vulpes (#946)

Not to be all "old-media," but the DVD is out now, actually. I know, I know, "what is this 'payment' of which you speak," but I just couldn't stand all the weeks of waiting for the end and so I ran and got and watched the whole thing Sunday. TERRIFIC!

BadUncle (#153)

I am aghast that anyone would feel angry about persimmons. Do you have texture issues, Choire?

joshc (#442)

I think that my DVR keeps refusing to record Downton Abbey because it thinks it should be spelled differently?

DMcK (#5,027)

I had a similar problem with Sherlock. Try "Masterpiece Classic".

petejayhawk (#1,249)

I am glad my Twitter circle of Twitters revolves around sports and saythatscool's mom, generally.

saythatscool (#101)

Btw, my mom wanted me to tell you that she wants her DVDA video back because that was her only copy and a couple of those guys on it are dead now.

zidaane (#373)

You can have my copy which, includes an overdub of my old muxtape for funeral songs. It adds some relief from the tension.

why don't they just run the superior Upstairs/Downstairs? THAT's what i would call a "Masterpiece Classic." It is just as wonderful now as it was then, in all its sprawling parts.

And while they are at it why don't they re-run all the episodes of I, Claudius, Poldark and Cadfael

Today's Brit TV aint what it used to be, really.

Vulpes (#946)

Did you hear there's a NEW Upstairs/Downstairs?!?!? It's coming in April, I think, and it's about the new family that live there, and Jean Marsh returns as the housekeeper! I'm so excited!

garge (#736)

I know, and I thought it was a bit shocking for Downton Abbey to take some of the wind out of the new Upstairs, Downstairs' sails! There was even a somewhat scandalous aggravated tweet! Not that I won't watch everything Masterpiece Classic at least twice; not that I don't think about Masterpiece Classic season with the anticipation that sentimental people do about Christmas.

But yeah, the cast is amazing, and I will even hold no ill will toward Clair Foy, who was previously cast as Amy Dorrit, also known as the role I was BORN to play.

Vulpes (#946)

Well, as great as Upstairs, Downstairs is, it's not like it owns the entire concept of looking at British class, and just plain old human drama, at the beginning of the 20th century through the lens of both the rich and their servants. There's room enough for many shows about that subject.

garge (#736)

Oh, no, I fully agree 1000%, especially because I could watch dramatizations of British class relations .. well, forever!

HonoriaGlossop (#1,247)

Ha, Ron – to this day, if I simply say the word "Poldark" to my mother, she will stop whatever she is doing and sigh.

Aatom (#74)

Alright, fair enough. But in my defense, because this post like everything else on the internet is clearly about me, I had high hopes that it might actually be good. But I was wrong. So wrong. In retrospect, the MTV thing really should have been more of a red flag. I promise to live-Tumbl a Jeeves & Wooster episode as penance.

jolie (#16)

Choire, I care about what you did to your cat. WHAT DID YOU DO TO CAT?

C_Webb (#855)

I'm terrified that it has something to do with what he "ate for dinner/threw up in the morning".

BoHan (#29)

I missed it! But Wikipedia's Skins UK entry must have crashed last night cuz no fracking way all these people watched the original. Sorted? Cook! Cook's little bro. Also Skins UK Season 5 starts 1-27.

Vulpes (#946)

Downton Abbey is SO. GOOD. So glad to hear there will be another series, though the anticipation of a year or more for it will be excruciating.

I really wish I found Thomas hot. He does nothing for me. As it is, I think I have the biggest crush on Sybil! Though I like a bit of gruff Daddy, so Bates (also on Lark's Rise to Candleford) gets me going. Move over, Anna!

garge (#736)

I totally agree with your sentiments, but I must acknowledge how much I HATED Lark Rise to Candleford. I kept waiting for drama to build, or at least some goddamn sex!

I was a bit lit for Thomas for a duration of about 30 seconds, but it burnt out quickly.

Vulpes (#946)

Lark Rise is really weird, in that I'm not sure I actually DO like it, but I keep watching it anyway. Apparently there's a new season on now on the BBC, so we'll probably get it later this year.

garge (#736)

I think my mistake with Lark Rise is that I downloaded them and tried to watch them in a serialized fashion, and it just drove me crazy, the theme song being a catalyst. I suppose if I watched them as they aired I'd have a higher tolerance, and if there is a new season I will just have to reattempt.

Rod T (#33)

What's a down-on-her-luck, but up-on-the-latest-fashions gal to do when her boyfriend packs his bags, her ne'er do well boss has a nervous breakdown, and her cat just won't learn to use the litter box?

Find out Fall, 2011 on ABC!
Parker Posey is Downtown Abby.

garge (#736)

And here I thought the hullabaloo must have been about Harry's Law, which was ghastly. I nearly tweeted about it a dozen times!

areaderwrites (#592)

I want to write all the donors to the Masterpiece trust and thank them personally for supporting the show, and then I want Google to ban Associated Content, eHow, and all their ilk, and put all of their inaccurate-instructions-writing monkeys out of business. (Also: what is up between Thomas and Lady Grantham's maid? Is he going to turn out to be her son or something?)

I call her Downtown Abby, she calls me Uptown Sal.

belltolls (#184)

I call it Upstairs/Downstairs.

KarenUhOh (#19)

You said "aghastivity."

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