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"If attacked by an endangered Florida panther, stand tall and fight back—that's the advice wildlife officials are giving after a series of recent panther attacks on domestic animals in the southeast U.S. state."
—Everything about that sentence amuses and excites!
What if you're too short to stand tall? Are midgets pantherbait?
Did you even read the article? People who aren't tall enough to ride roller-coasters have been issued a mandatory emigration order to Georgia.
This is advice for pets?
Do they know how hard it is to get sheep to stand up and fight?
Florida cougars are another story.
If attacked by an endangered Florida panther, shoot clean and make me a rug!
When facing a rampaging Florida Panther, be sure to drop your gloves and attempt to pull their jersey over their head.
"Who's endangered now, bitch?!?" Nom, nom, nom.