Now Computers Are Writing Lousy Jokes Like They Work For Jay Leno Or Something
Christmas crackers—traditional British holiday mini-pinatas that, when pulled apart, frequently contain tiny, crappy toys and a terrible joke (older American readers might recall the Dixie cups of their youth for comparative purposes)—just got a little easier to make… THANKS TO THE MACHINES.
Debenhams, the department store, has commissioned the computer science department at the University of Aberdeen to come up with jokes for next year's crackers using a computer program that creates pun-based gags such as: What kind of tree is nauseated? A sick-amore.
The software, known as The Joking Computer, has the capacity to build millions of jokes using a large dictionary of words and simple language rules.
I would make a joke here, but why bother? I am just going to be replaced by an algorithm soon enough.
Raise your hand if you would love to see if scroll_lock can out-pun the computer? It'll be like John Henry, the steel-drivin' man!
@boyofdestiny: One night only! Commentor scroll_lock versus Bazooka Joebot, "The Joking Computer"! Two nominally sentient wordsmiths enter, one nominally sentient wordsmith leaves!
@gef: Not sure whether to say thanks or :(
@boy: Ha! Speaking of tree puns, I better get off my ash and see what I can come up with.
@scroll: Yew had better start soon.
@deepo: It's a beech trying to think these up.
@scroll: It certainly sounds like a pine in the neck.
@deepo: I'll be oakay once I get rolling.
@deep: to get rid of that pine, just take your palm and rub it.
On a separate note, I owe a sexy girl a telephone call. Sorry, the holiday parties have gotten the better of me.
@stc: Yes you do. She thought you were out chasing fat chicks again. Questions?
I'm not sure I'm poplar enough to be in this thread ):
@Molly: Of course you are. Don't be such a birch.
@STC: Olive the way you stated that.
@Molly: You'll feel better after a hot cup of teak and a bourbon chaser.
@Molly: We'll cedar to it that you feel comfortable in this thread!
@Molly: Because our bark is a rot worse than our bite.
@scroll: It's a little early fir bourbon, I should stick with a mimosa.
This unfolded exactly as I hoped.
Where's jfruh to make the requisite comment about Archie comics?
@deepo: something something Veronica/Betty/Jughead: F/M/K?
Marry Jughead, Fuck Betty and Veronica simultaneously, Kill myself afterwards. Obvs.
Ha, I totally forgot about that in my rush to come over here and post the Simpsons quote below! Anyway, deepomega has been kind enough to do it for me, I will merely link to my own blog with the definition of the feared Archie Joke-Generating Laugh Unit 3000, which has in fact achieved sentience.
http://joshreads.com/?p=1827
Also this:
http://joshreads.com/?p=1302
FEAR THE AJGLU 3000
@jfruh: Wait, how did YOU forget about the AJGLU3000? That was the first thing I thought of and I've only been reading CC for, like, a year or two.
"Have you heard about the clowns in Congress? What a bunch of clowns."
But everyone is too drunk to read those little slips of paper by the time cracker-pulling starts. Hell, it's enough of a challenge to unfold and put on that damn paper crown.
All of these internet jokes were invented by AlGore-ythm?
Genius.
Then that "Joking Computer" must be awesome!
fix windows xp