Monday, November 8th, 2010
47

How Do Men Fake Orgasms?

Regarding a recent survey which reveals that 17% of men have faked an orgasm, Chris Rovzar notes, "This is a statistic that raises more questions than it does answers." Um, yeah, I know my hand is way, way up.

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47 Comments / Post A Comment

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

How indeed.

saythatscool (#101)

I have faked orgasms in the past. It's not that hard. Especially if you are actually coming into the vag with no protection. Most girls own wetness confuses the situation sufficiently. If that doesn't work just pull out and give a "mystery shot" point away from the girl and then pretend to lay in the wet spot. I've also never known a woman who could actually feel when someone came in her ass.

So you know, science.

saythatscool (#101)

How to Fake a Fucking Orgasm

garge (#736)

#servicey

However, I would offer that I would certainly notice if performed sans protection, fwiw/fyi gents.

saythatscool (#101)

Even in the butt?

[crickets]

saythatscool (#101)

Can't blame a guy for trying.

garge (#736)

While I wish I could say 'unprotected anal sex aside', because how great would it be to have an opportunity to say so, I would never occasion to have unprotected anal sex, personally. I can assume, though, that hygienic rituals would similarly suggest a lack of ejaculation, for those who are particular in these matters.

saythatscool (#101)

We should probably date.

Bittersweet (#765)

I thought garge was already locked in your basement, stc? Or am I confusing her with some other poor young female?

saythatscool (#101)

Never had the pleasure of garge in my root cellar!

I once faked not having an orgasm (no condom on yet).
#PRAYING-FOR-PERIOD

saythatscool (#101)

Yeah, I've also faked coming into a condom. There's not that many women who want to check up on that kind of thing at the end of the act. But if she does want to check? Man, you just found yourself a keeper.

But I had an orgasm, prematurely (college!)and sans condom, and tried to hide the orgasm signs to prevent pissed-off girlfriend. Then, I put on the condom and went right into round two(college!) and orgasm two. (Then I was worried for two weeks.)

saythatscool (#101)

This is why anal is so important to the youth of America. Mo butsecks, millenials!

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

And then the follow-up question, why.

saythatscool (#101)

Sometimes I just want a sandwich.

deepomega (#1,720)

Or a nap.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Got bored.

saythatscool (#101)

Favorite episode of Night Court was on.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

See, in my experience, if Night Court is on the hypothetical fakee is either a) not in the room or b) asleep.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Scheduling conflicts.

Just keep thinking of Richard Moll.

saythatscool (#101)

I can't get the guy out of my head!

Multiphasic (#411)

Sort of a TL;DR type of thing.

jaimeleigh (#1,840)

But who would care? I've definitely been with guys who have faked it (it's fairly obvious if they're a regular partner, because guys seem less conscious about their orgasm cues and when they fake it end up doing kind of odd things that scream "I am faking"), usually because they're drunk or tired or whatever and it just isn't going to happen. Oh, and I knew one guy who faked it because he didn't really want to have a baby and he and his wife were trying and she also knew he was faking! Oh, and butt or vag, I don't know that women can feel a dude coming in them but if nothing leaks out of you after it's pretty clear nothing was shot into you in the first place. Anyway, my original point was, who would care? People, both women and men, fake orgasms for varying reasons. S'all good, non?

erikonymous (#3,231)

now I'm picturing a guy literally screaming "I am faking!" at the critical moment and it's hilarious and I'm stealing it for NaNoWriMo (but not really). thanks!

jaimeleigh (#1,840)

Haha, not quite that obvious. But almost. One guy who was a bit of a chronic faker (and a chronic masturbator, ahem) would always say "I'm coming!" when he was faking, which isn't at all an odd thing to say. Except he never said it normally. I actually find it kind of endearing when dudes fake it…I mean, because I think their reasons are probably very similar to our reasons. Which, you know, are usually for the sake of the other person's feelings.

erikonymous (#3,231)

by "the other person's feelings" you mean "too much whiskey" right?

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

If I'm sober enough to fake it that is nowhere near "too much."

Jackie Thomason (#7,092)

Come on people! Get that condom on. In case you've forgotten why, check this out http://www.cdc.gov/std/hiv/STDFact-STD-HIV.htm

I had forgotten why. Thanks!

Smitros (#5,315)

" . . . I know my hand is way, way up."

Which might explain why nothing's happening.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

"Raises more questions than it does answers" also made me wonder.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Oh I have done this. Surely it's not that rare?

Nearly one out of five on a survey. So, you know, questions. (Yes, I have done this thing too.)

Faking seems only to be important if either partner is obsessed with the concept of "finishing". Which I guess only matters if you aren't in a long-term relationship?

deepomega (#1,720)

Ding ding ding! If you're in a relationship, you can just be like "oh shit, honey, can we finish this later? Venture Brothers is on."

cherrispryte (#444)

I need a new secret commenter name for when I want to be lewd on the internet. This is not the first time I've had that thought. But I would also want some of you to know it is me!

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Don't bother with the new name. We're all faking it.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

CierraMystWythAmaretto

saythatscool (#101)

Cherripoppin?

LondonLee (#922)

I've faked hugging afterwards.

Multiphasic (#411)

Mostly I just fake the recriminations.

I faked one earlier today. Totally got me a seat on the subway.

Mar (#2,357)

Take her from behind. Pull out, spit on her back. Never look back.

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