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Disgruntled Athlete Takes It Up With Higher Power
I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…
Stevie Johnson
StevieJohnson13
It's an unverified account, so who knows, but really, too good not to share: "Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson(notes) dropped an easy, game-winning touchdown pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday. After the game, Johnson placed the blame for the flub not on himself nor the pass nor the lights nor the defender nor the pressure of the situation. Nope; he blamed it on the big guy upstairs." A spokesman for God responded that the incident was "nothing personal, but tormenting Bills fans is the only enjoyable part of His job."
Don't feel too bad. God laid the points.
in related news, another 25 people were killed in the conflict in northern mexico because god was too busy agonizing over the yreka junior cheerleading semifinals.
I think he might've been talking about Mr. Wilson.
God responded, "You should have seen Norwood's Twitter feed."
Don't know about God, but I sure don't expect this guy to learn from this. Or from anything else, for that matter.
God was busy that day helping Beyonce record an album. She works in mysterious ways.
Satan @StevieJohnson13 I'll hook you up next game, I promise. #yoursoul
15 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
That's an unverified account. RealSatan uses a Torch.
That'd by 24/7 minus the time it took to type that tweet.
Maybe Stevie Johnson is just a big George Carlin fan:
"Can’t we silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win and never mention his name when they lose? You never hear them say, 'Jesus made me drop the ball' or, 'The Lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.'"
It's funny how it turned out that in that attempt to expose the enormity of the stupidity of these people, George has just grossly underestimated it.
Oh my poor Bills.
Oh my poor heart. And liver.
Good to see at least one former Kentucky football player has seen the light in regards to God's crushing Schadenfreude.