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15 Bands I Will Probably Not See At CMJ This Year, Based Solely On Their Names
15. Wakey Wakey
14. The Twees
13. Skeet Skeet
12. Penguin Prison
11. Penguin Penguin
10. Oh Snap!
9. Mantyhose
8. Le Divorce
7. Jenifer Convertible
6. Gringo Star
5. Gay For Johnny Depp
4. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
3. COOLRUNNINGS
2. Care Bears on Fire
1. AIDS Wolf
Tyler Coates moved to New York City to enjoy the majesty of it all.
HA!
Glad to see penguins are finally starting to catch up to wolves in the band name sphere.
Don't forget deer!
Sadly, the three penguin moon t-shirt not as lucky.
I slept on Das Racist for six months strictly because of their name. (see also: Girl Talk)
And do you regret that now?
The man who passes up a band named Care Bears on Fire is capable of anything.
If they actually light some Care Bears, I'll go.
Let's make it an outdoor show, though, shall we?
I would also go see Teletubbies Who Cut Themselves, indoors or outdoors.
Is this a baby picture of Gutty?
AIDS Wolf is(/are?) pretty hot, so I'd flip on that one.
If by "pretty hot", you mean "assholes who play pretty awful music", then I agree!
No one believes that you won't be seeing Mantyhose.
You're missing out with Care Bears on Fire.
The legacy of Duran Duran and Talk Talk lives on!
Yeah yeah.
It's a shame that Duran Duran Duran isn't playing CMJ this year or your mind would be blown.
Gringo Star made me chuckle, but I wouldn't want it as a band name. The rest are horrible.
Though you must admit that the belly Christmas tree is festive.
But Johnny Depp can clearly do so much better than that.
I was getting more of a smirky upside down vagina feel.
Don't listen to the others re: Care Bears on Fire. Interest in that band means one of two things, either you're a creepy Humbert Humbert type, or a tween girl. Tyler, you are neither of these things.
You're right, I googled them and was immediately transformed into a tween girl.
More KITCHENS OF DISTINCTION to myself then!
CMJ blows a bag of dicks anyway.
Maybe we should play the "how many of these bands have you received a PR e-mail about?" game. Me: 3!
Ridiculous moniker aside, I'd revisit Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. (That is unspeakably fun to type.) They do a pretty great Beach Boys cover:
http://www.weallwantsomeone.org/2010/09/24/dale-earnhardt-jr-jr-%E2%80%93-god-only-knows-the-beach-boys-cover/
Did you hear about the fellows who copyrighted Hank Williams IV? Jes to fuck with Hank III, I thnk.
I saw AIDS Wolf at CMJ in '07, and I've got to say it was one of the most memorable performances of the week. If you can get into noise rock then they more than make up for the name, if not, well, then, yes, I understand.
Penguin is the new wolf?
I thought "bells" was the new wolf, as in "School of the Seven Broken Sleigh Bells"
What an asinine list. Were one to use such criteria one would never see bands like Radiohead, Gorillaz or Pink Floyd. The 15 seconds it took me to read this was a complete waste of my time, especially considering that there are a couple of quite good bands on your list.
I think you should call your band I Live My Life a Quarter Minute at a Time
So, I'll see you at the Oh Snap! show?
I'd consider seeing AIDS Wolf if they were in fact a Damon Albarn-fronted side project.
I would love for Penguin to be the new Bells but I can't find "Penguin Penguin" in either the list of CMJ shows or in fact as a band that exists (this band website is still available, etc.).
There is, however, Blackbird Blackbird.
Here's the list of 1000+ band names I scanned, which definitely includes "Penguin Penguin." Maybe (hopefully?) it's a typo!
Great, now I'll be wandering around looking for the Penguin Penguin set just to see if it's a typo (agree on hopefully) or not.
For me, the worst band name on the CMJ line-up is Vagina Panther. Uh, what?
Is that the perfume version of Sex Panther?
Gringo Star is really good! Also, their old name was "A Fir-Ju Well," so Gringo Star is a pretty good improvement.
You should make a cute 'listicle' of books you will probably not read, based solely on their titles.