Goldman Sachs Wants You Regular Train-Riding Kind of People
Goldman Sachs has a new ad campaign for their Asset Management division! I'm not really sure why this is something they need to market. It's probably less true in asset management but in Private Wealth Management, certainly, they inherit their clients, and it's not like it's a tough sell to sign up a few more millionaires at GS. The company makes them money! And even though their clients don't like the firm necessarily, it's not like they ever leave with their money. For where? Wachovia? Anyway the new campaign is pretty funny because, in this iteration, from their website, there's a woman in cowboy boots—taking a train! (A very clean train, in a very clean station.) A woman who apparently used to sleep in something the poor people call "a bunk bed"? So yes, this is how they pimp mutual funds, to appeal to the aspirational set of the semi-average rich little people who, it appears, can also hustle in their own way into the big money tent.
Odd to see them hoovering crumbs, yes, but to switch broke ass metaphors, even marketing VPs have to be all stars to stay on the roster there.
What. Broke ass metaphors are all they're leaving us.
I'm sorry, who the hell calls moving from a loft to a split-level ranch aspirational?
Asphyxiational!
Train cowboys, duh
I still can't get over how short she was in college.
And that is the first time I ever used the "thumbs up, bro" button.
I'm not putting my assets (Sybil the cat, 1960's Wonder Woman comics, Nagasaki sofa) in the hands of people that handle this woman's assets. That stupid red coat, slouchy lavender blouse, flavorless jeans, and not-her-size boots don't bother me as much as that impractical bruise-your-fellow-riders-on-Amtrak-coach-class roll-y thing.
Seriously though, who styled this mess?
I believe those pants are stuffed with hay.
SOMEONE WHO CAN'T COMBINE COLORS, THAT'S WHO!! AAAGGH!
That\'s not her roll-y thing, silly. She\'s carrying it for the GS guy just outside the frame.
Best part is the blackberry/newspaper combo lightly held between her fingers. "I am of the past and the future!"
The Hallmark stylist dept.
Is someone going to tell her the train will come from the other direction?
That's the express. She's very obviously on the local track in her life.
I'm asking Yao Ming to be my asset manager.
I bought stilts instead.
ANDRE THE GIANT HAS A HEDGE FUND
Maybe she just got done robbing one of those trains and having a shoot-out with the Lone Ranger on top of it? How do you know?
Maybe she's waiting for her lover Gene Wilder to save her from Patrick McGoohan.
They want bleachy-haired bitches who wear purple and red at the same time and tuck their ill-fitting jeans into cowboy boots aka my junior high school nemesis? Who is no doubt living in a split-level ranch.
I suppose 10 acre ranch is good enough, but if it was up to me I'd put all these people on their own planet. Preferably in a far away star system.
indeed, 10 acres is like half a ranchette. barely a decent kitchen garden in Greenwich.
The way the main page is resizing that image makes it even more disturbing, and possibly a commentary on the recession.