We Will Soon Be Overrun By Foul-Mouthed Toddlers
Researchers have discovered that today's children are swearing at a much earlier age than those of previous generations. "By the time kids go to school now, they're saying all the words that we try to protect them from on television," says psychology professor Timothy Jay. "We find their swearing really takes off between (ages) three and four." Jay sees this as a natural outgrowth of the rise in adult swearing, i.e. the kids learn it from listening to Mommy and Daddy. Jay also found an increase in the volume of swearing done by the little ones. But there is a troubling note concerning the variety of their exclamations.
Children do not appear to be yet using worse swear words than in the past – just common swear words more often, according to the new research. Although there are over 70 different common taboo swear words in the English language (some of which also vary from English-speaking country to country), 10 frequently used words account for over 80 percent of common swearing – fuck, shit, hell, damn, goddamn, Jesus Christ, ass, oh my god, bitch and sucks.
This is really disturbing! Whither "motherfucker"? What of "cocksucker"? Does the youth of today have no appreciation for the beauty of a well-timed "cuntrag"? Mark my words, the paucity of expression is going to be this culture's downfall. Let's all do try to ensure that our youth can blossom in a vibrant and energetic landscape filled with bright, billowy swears. "Whorepisser," for example. There's a whole world of swears out there just waiting to be discovered.
Photo by mdanys, from Flickr.
Consarn it!
That's why I gave my friends' 8-year old the Deadwood box set for Christmas.
The obvious solution to this problem is a bright, well-illustrated children's book featuring all 70 of these taboo words. This could be an important resource for adults as well. Freelance writers & artists, start pitchin'.
Oooh. How about one of those flip books that was cut into thirds so you could make outlandish animals like a Hippoduckdog? That would be perfect for cursing.
I'm a big fan of Sam Lipsyte's "Ficklesnatch" from "The Ask"
You're going to have to do some chart-y things or graphs to explain these words to me. Some of those nice diva bubble graphs to represent the popularity of each foulness relative to its primary demographic.
yes, perhaps it could link to an online college. For swearing!
I'd like to hear from a correspondent on Knifecrime Island about this. Those folks are the Thomas Edisons of profanity. Are the tiny yobs over there actually using terms like "council tit gristler"?
This can all be traced directly to Winnie the Pooh lamenting the loss of his christing, POS sonofabitching honey pot.
Pigley you foul-mouthed whore! Come bleach my asshole!
"You'll Roo the day you bent me over, shitferbrains bear!" cried Kanga.
Since being called the T word, that tiger hasn't spoken to Eeyore.
"Twigger"
I grew up in a household where having one's mouth washed out with soap was a very real consequence of using foul language, so I find this trend pretty fucking dismaying.
Soap? Lame. My old man used Tabasco.
They liked bland cuisine, what can I say.
I was taught to speak by construction workers and many of my first words were swears. My mom says I used to embarrass her on the subway by stringing them all together and singing them at the top of my lungs.
There don't seem to have been any long-term consequences, other than a general disregard for arbitrary taboos and an affection for colorful language.
Makes sense. Likely a function of being sworn AT more often.
Little fuckers.
SHIT
PISS
FUCK
CUNT
COCKSUCKER
MOTHERFUCKER
TITS
Carlin did not believe that tits should be on the list because it sounds like a nickname or a snack ("New Nabisco Tits! …corn tits, cheese tits, tater tits. Bet ya can't eat just one!")
Everybody Fucks.
I grew up in a ridiculously stereotypical blend of Pennsylvania Dutch and NY Suburb Irish-American blue-collar-ness. Everyone was expected to curse, but until you were 18 you couldn't do it in front of your parents, and never at them.
However, we also had amazing old-timey and weird sayings. My grandfather, for instance, whenever he hurt himself while doing carpentry, would swear "Your sister's mother!" I love and still use this one – and also catty-corner, which, while not a swear, is an amazing word.
My daughter says "bloody hell" in a London accent (dropping the H and all) – I'm so proud. The wife not so much.
Why? Does your wife pronounce the H?
She's American. So is my daughter.
Now that- that's adorable.
Dropping the h is the only way to get that tongue-tripping almost musical quality that makes it so versatile – peeved resignation as a descending triplet, indignation or angry surprise as a rising triplet, amazement or frustration as syncopated and ^v^.
Of course, as an American with no real ties to Knifecrime this means I can only say when no one's around, for fear of sounding a pretentious twat.
My cousin's oldest child picked up "oh, shit!" (not from me, honestly) and used it beautifully in context starting around age 3. Fortunately, he also had that marbles-in-the-mouth diction common to toddlers, so it sounded like "awsit" and most people had no idea what he was hollering at his broken toy/dropped ice cream cone/untied shoe.
Totally adorable.
Ha, my mom's favorite story about my youthful swearing is the time my grandmother dropped a box of glass bottles and I, age 3, shouted, "Oh, shit, Grandma!"
My mom used to swear at the car. One day, when it wouldn't start for my dad, my little sister yelled "Shit!" Engine turned right over.
[And now I'd like my $50 from "Life in these United States," Mr. Reader's Digest.]
In the great green room, there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of a goddamn motherfucking cow jumping over the goddamn motherfucking moon. Can you believe that shit?
And there were three little bears sitting on chairs, the cunts, and two little kittens and a pair of whorepissing mittens, and a little toyhouse, and a goddamn young little cocksucking mouse. Fuck! A fucking mouse!
Oh, and a fucking comb, of course, and a fucking brush, and bowl full of motherfucking nasty-ass mush.
Wait who's this bitch? A quiet old lady who's whispering hush? I'll say whatever the fuck I want, bitch!
Goodnight fucking room.
Goodnight fucking moon, you can blow me. .
Goodnight goddamn motherfucking cow jumping over the goddamn motherfucking moon.
Goodnight light and the shitty red balloon.
Goodnight bears, you cunts.
Goodnight chairs.
Goodnight kittens.
And goodnight to your whorepissing mittens.
Goodnight clocks.
Goodnight socks.
And, oh yeah, all y'all can suck our cocks!
Goodnight house.
And goodnight young little cocksucking mouse. Fuck! Another fucking mouse?
Goodnight comb.
Goodnight brush.
Goodnight nobody, you bastard, you lush.
And goodnight to this motherfucking nasty-ass mush.
Goodnight bitch whispering hush.
Goodnight stars.
Goodnight air.
Goodnight to all these motherfucking goodnight noises everywhere.
Thanks for making my day, Screen Name. Motherfucker.
-STANDING OVATION-
If published, would this survive a cease-and-desist as fair use? I sure hope so.
NOW DO PAT THE FUCKING BUNNY! Or Guess How Much I Love You, You Cuntass Schmeg-Sucking Whore!
Jesus Fucking Christ.
+1000
is it just me or has the share on facebook tab disappeared? i don't want to like it, though i do – i want to share it!
At a recent block party, I stammered at least twice, catching myself almost lobbing an F-bomb within 6 feet of young ears… but then I quickly noticed that a number of my adult neighbors dropped a variety of curses and made no attempt to correct themselves.
And then, two tweenage boys came crashing through a thicket of lawn-chairs, screaming and cursing, mid-fisticuffs.
"-sniffff- mmm, that freshly cut grass smells good! Excuse me while I go get another 6 beers for myself from the cooler."
bukowski already did this crap
Does anyone remember when there was a 'watershed' for television networks?
Or am I the oldest person in this joint?