Hippie Space Aliens Hate Nukes

"Alien," Alex Balk, 2010“A few weeks later, Mr. Halt was told by his boss that the lights were back and so he went back out into the forest with a couple of policeman, a camera and a cassette recorder. At the site he saw ‘indentations of around six to eight feet wide’ and increased levels of radiation as well as broken branches on the trees. Mr. Halt said: ‘Milling around, one of the individuals saw a bright glowing object like an eye. It would appear to be winking and was shedding molten metal and silently moving through the trees and at one point it actually approached us.’ He said that the object then exploded into five white objects which became visible in the sky. They were brightly coloured changing from elliptical to round as if they were moving at very high speed.’ Suddenly one of the objects sent a concentrated beam at the feet of the terrified men. ‘Was this a warning? An attempt to communicate? A weapon? Then just as suddenly as it appeared, it disappeared,’ he said. The entire incident was categorised as a British affair because it had happened off base, Mr. Halt said. ‘I have no idea what we saw that night but I do know it was under intelligent control. My theory is that it was from another dimension or extra-terrestrial,’ he said.”
-Suspiciously missing from the front page of the Times today: reportage from yesterday’s press conference at which seven former U.S. Air Force officers gave public testimony about their experiences with UFOs. Apparently the aliens don’t like our nuclear weapons. Which, you know, who could blame them?