Friday, September 17th, 2010

Acid Hoaxer Sure Tried To Push A Lot Of Buttons During Her Fake-Out

can cause chemical burns, race-based controversiesBethany Storro, the self-proclaimed "nice girl" from Vancouver, Wash., who claimed that she was accosted by a woman who called her "pretty girl" and offered her a drink — then threw a cup full of acid in her face, resulting in fairly severe chemical burns on her face and neck — has admitted that she made up the whole thing. "In many ways this is something that just got bigger than what she expected," a flack for the local police said. It sure did! And it sure makes certain details from the story originally recounting the attack stand out even more:

Neuwelt said it was unusual that Storro was wearing the sunglasses that protected her eyes.

"She on a whim decided to buy a pair," only about 20 minutes before the attack, Neuwelt said. "The weird thing is, she doesn't like to wear sunglasses."

The police actually credited the "weird" aspect of this particular detail with helping them crack the case. Of course, now it makes sense: How else was she going to know which buttons on her phone to press in order to dial 911 immediately after dousing herself?

The assailant was described as a black woman between 25 and 35, who wore a green shirt and khaki shorts. She had medium-length black hair that was pulled back, said Stefan, who is hoping for more information from the public.

Sigh. Etc.

Neuwelt said her daughter had never seen the assailant before, and it would be only speculation to try to explain a chemical attack she called "senseless."

"It happens in the Middle East all the time," the mother said.

All the time. Somehow there are only about 550 results for this young woman's name and "Park51." I'm kind of surprised! Maybe it's because she's Canadian. (Actually, she's from Vancouver, Washington. So restore my surprise!)

Anyway, it's a good thing that the rumored Oprah interview didn't quite work out. Could you imagine the public shaming that would have resulted in?

18 Comments / Post A Comment

mikki halpin (#5,603)

She joins the ranks of JT Leroi, Don Draper, and the other imposter greats.

MollyculeTheory (#4,519)

The H2SO4 is deceitful above all things.

mikki halpin (#5,603)

Indeed! Disfigurement raises the bar. Take heed, future Clark Rockefellers.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

The "pretty girl" comment tipped me off.

C_Webb (#855)

Yeah, that would only make sense if the hoaxer was a golden retriever.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

That's what I call my neighbor's GR!

C_Webb (#855)


Art Yucko (#1,321)

anyone remember Acid Horse?

BadUncle (#153)

At least this acid hoax didn't involve a jam band.

saythatscool (#101)

Don't be so quick to dismiss them. Where was Phish during all this?

scroll_lock (#4,122)

One time Loverboy whipped a battery at my head but they missed. I settled my suit against them for a pair of red leather pants and headband.

hockeymom (#143)

As far as hoaxes go, I like the "backwards B" hoax better.

Kate Croy (#973)

Don't worry, guys, this is all for Joaquin Phoenix's new movie.

cherrispryte (#444)

"It happens in the Middle East all the time"

Meh, not quite. Acid attacks (usually on girls attempting to go to school, the hussies) are incredibly common in Afghanistan and Pakistan, and for different reasons, in India.

Are we really calling Afghanistan and Pakistan the Middle East? Isn't the standard to cut things off at Iran? India sure as hell isn't the Middle East, whatever you say.

Anyway, geography/racism fail, self-acid-thrower.

Afghanistan's in Asia Minor, isn't it? I know that Turkey is, or at least that's how our geography teacher told us to classify it.

janine (#248)

On the bright side, you now have that handy "SELF-INFLICTED ACID ATTACKS" tag, which will come in handy when discussing reality TV and whatnot.

NinetyNine (#98)

I'd leave it to a PDX commenter to explain Vancouver better, but it's the Staten Island of Portland. That contextualizes this a little better, donnit?

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

vancouver, WA is like a giant Wigfield.

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