The New York State Fair Is Happening! And Under Investigation!
We have a winner for press release of the day! "ATTORNEY GENERAL CUOMO LAUNCHES WIDE-RANGING INVESTIGATION INTO PATRONAGE, CRONYISM AND WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY AT THE NEW YORK STATE FAIR." Oh really? "The State Fair has long been plagued by allegations that it has become a patronage playground for friends, relatives and cronies of the Fair's directors and managers. The Attorney General's investigation will assess the integrity of ticketing, contracting, hiring, and other management and financial practices involving the Fair." (Subpoenas went out to, among other parties, Clear Channel Radio, which, hmm!) Anyway, this undoubtedly put a pall on this morning's "Pettis Pools' Extreme Canines stunt dog show" at the Adventure Zone by the New York State Fair Grandstand and the "MaxMan Reptile Rescue demonstration" in the Hall of Veterinary Health. For yes, the New York State Fair is going on right now, at the Empire Expo Center, "immediately adjacent to Route 690 just west of Syracuse." I hope no one is trying to build a mosque by it. (via)
Cuomo further indicated that some of the worst offenders were those seeking to circumvent the State's rigid safety specifications for midway carnival-style rides, and those dicks who totally charge for a footlong corn dog that is really two hot dogs end-to-end on a stick.
Subpoenas on a Stick!
Felonius Funnel Cake!
Felonious Funnel Cake!
So Good We Had To Say It Twice!
Guilt-a-Whirl!
Crony Curds!
As a former Upstater, I can confirm that Syracuse is always referred to in quotation marks.
In contrast to Plattsburgh, which is ideally never referred to at all.
I guess all the union employees were fired because an usher at a concert refused to let the daughter of the head of the fair sit in seats she didn't have tickets for? And then the head of the fair classily went and screamed at the usher but the daughter was still not allowed to sit where she had no tickets? All of which is weird anyway since the music venues aren't really the fair's concern anymore? This is what my mom told me when I went upstate this weekend.
I was under the assumption that the 'cronyism midway' was celebrating a New York State institution, like the agriculture expo or the hot tub barn.
Also:
State Fairs – shots in the dark.
County Fairs – bring wetnaps.
Town Fairs – don't eat anything.
So long as they leave my beloved Dinosaur BBQ untouched, they can do whatever they want.
Also, I can confirm that you can get anything you want on a stick at the NY State Fair. Frozen wine slushie popsicle = alcohol on a stick.
This just proves that Starship Troopers is the most underrated movie of all time.