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After being kicked out of the circus for gaining too much weight, a performing bear named Tian Tian has found a second career posing for pictures with patrons at a zoo in Shandong, China. "When she first arrived at the zoo and tourists began to request pictures, officials decided to turn her into a full-time 'picture bear'. She soon began to adopt special poses for photographs by putting on a casual look and leaning on a fence. In return, she stares at tourists' food until they give it to her. She has become particularly fond of beer." Yeah, that's gonna end well.
I can just see it now. Bear spazzes out to scratch a horrible beer-induced-psoriasis itch, stupid tourist is standing a little too close… bloodbath.
If beer gave hairy bros psoriasis, I'd know about it.
How fast can we get Balk and a bottle of bourbon photoshopped into that picture next to the bear?
here ya go
This is all kinds of great.
I think you won the internet today.
Excellent choice of bourbon brands there, Art!
@Art: I can't see it!!! Great, now I have to wait until I get home to see your masterwork!
*kicks monitor*
VVΣ /FIXXΣD IT 4 VS.
I could stare at that furry forearm all the livelong day.
How does the Make A Wish foundation work? We could use that photo in the proposal.
@art: *throws in hat
SO glad you didn't shoot yourself!
New screensaver!
I await a .gif
how does the bear change gender halfway through the original article? what?
The confusion arises from The circus billing Tian Tian as The Bearded Lady Bear.
After intense psychological counseling and hormone therapy.
This is going to end the same way it did with that panda bear. Some lush is going to get a little handsy after sharing one too many beers with Tian Tian. She'll rebuff his advances and they'll end up biting each other.
It has happened before
If this fat lazy butterstick ever decides to shed her "lazy Oriental habits," I hear St. Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital specializes in that sort of thing.
Do they have leash attached to it's lip? Team bear mauling.
Maybe it's her orthodontic headgear?
Must I rant about everything today?
The bear is not "obese". Do they even have BMI rankings for bears? Is the bear fat and lazy? Possibly. Should it stop drinking beer and spend more time riding its tricycle around the ring? Sure. But obese refers to a specific classification on a highly inaccurate chart which compares height-to-weight ratios for HUMANS. Not transgendered Chinese bears.
What this bear will look like six months from now:
http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/pigs-in-zen-or-maybe-theyre-just-drunk