58
Letters I Would Consent to Have Sex With, in Descending Order
1. I
2. J
3. L
4. P
5. O
6. Q
7. B
8. D
9. R
10. A
11. G
12. C
13. S
14. T
15. H
16. U
17. V
18. N
19. F
20. E
21. Y
22. M
23. X
24. K
25. Z
26. W
Lizzie Skurnick is the author of Shelf Discovery, a memoir of teen reading. She lives in Jersey City.
"Was it as good enough for you as it was good enough for me?"
This is bullshit! U is clearly a top 5 fucking letter! It's made for fisting, fornication and fellatio.
Fisting is not everybody's thing, though.
sure, that's why listed to other things. Replace 'and' with an 'or' for flexibility!
@JSF: Well, a guys list would be altogether different, no?
No. No it would not.
I see you feel strongly about this one so I won't waste any time or effort trying to dissuade you.
It is an issue of paramount importance, indeed. My commitment to hard-assery on this issue, however, is merely for joke purposes. Terribly sorry for slowing your roll, as it were.
Well, you certainly wouldn't have wanted to weaken your negotiating position.
Don't worry so much!
U is notoriously horny! I learned this as a child.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyUxVCR0p9g
A little grabby, isn't she?
Much of Cyrillic would be painful.
Not if it were dressed up in the Comic Sans font.
Σ.
too rigid for my tastes.
It's the #VVIKKΣDNΣϞϞ that draws me in, what can I say.
fucking. epic.
Mmmm. I want sum of that.
"O! O! O!"
"I'm J! Why are you shouting out another letter's name?"
I would have put "P" at the top. It's got a high, tight ass on it!
Yay.
J is shaped a little like a jackrabbit vibrator, no?
good for hitting those hard to reach places…
fuck an a.
lowercase letters are jailbait.
Goons. sssssshhhh. Not going to discuss what happened the last time you invited a clique of lowercases over to "interview for an internship."
Pffft! Plain vanilla middle-of-the-alphabet letters… Bleah!
ξ and ζ and ψ are where the real action's at.
@oudemia: was trying to reply to you. Ancient greek is for whippersnappers!
damn kids think they invented sex. you should have seen what we got up to with Linear B !
Touché. But may I recommend the Phaistos Disc? One could get up to stuff with that mohawk dude and the chocolate chip cookie.
Heh. Damn Mycenaeans trying to take credit for everything, why don't you try  or  ?
(they show up as Egyptian hieroglyphics btw)…
F*ck like an Egyptian . . .
This leads me to wonder which alphabet's letters are the best for the sex…Also which are best for sexting?
∆
It all comes back to the Delta.
I'm more of a numbers guy.
Pi is tres sexy.
i tried picking up infinity in a bar one night. she told me i couldn't get her wet with a glass of water…elitist bitch!
Really? She was totally willing to talk to me. Kinda sucked, though; she just went on and on forever.
in her defense, i have kyphosis and a club foot (not the good kind).
If you sex up the aleph, you can't be sure if you are about to come, already have, or are currently doing so.
Are we to think of these letters as vaguely people-sized, or as insertables/orifices?
Or am I taking things too literally? Is it about the personality of the letter or the shape?
Cause damn, vowels are total sluts.
And Y goes both ways.
X always gets the shaft, and not in a good way.
Don't worry, buddy. It's not your x-height that matters, it's your point size.
God, I miss your humor. (Sorta?)
Seems fitting (or ill-fitting, depending): when Choire Sicha turns off the Internet, Lizzie Skurnick turns on the alphabet.
Yes, it's a good thing The Awl doesn't pay by the word (or the letter!).
I call bullshit on this list. If W is 26 then M should be 25, no?
It's not the point size, it's the leading.
Is it wrong that these days, just hearing about a woman's consent to sex — expressed in the conditional, even — is enough to raise my pulse rate?
Okay, I thought so.
No. Consent is sexy.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for Me –
OHHHHHHH –
Cookie Cookie Cookie starts with C!
My favorite song from Sesame Street. Thanks for the reminder.
These are all dogmeat compared to the glamour of the interrobang.
So is L so high because you like bad boys, or because it sounds like it's good with its tongue?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjbpuK_H2VY