What the Gays are Really Saying About 'Twilight: Eclipse'
And here is what the gays are really saying about Eclipse, which really is a movie that doesn't make a lot of internal sense when you view it through any lens except that of intense lady-tween sexual longing and the madness of adolescence: "The vampire army! It was led by a kid named Riley, who looked exactly like Brandon Teena as played by Hilary Swank. This is the first time outside of gay porn in which I have encountered someone named Riley." Also? "This franchise is 'subverting' the genre by giving the vampires sparkly skin and bodies that are apparently made of fragile glass while still maintaining the age-old truth that women are weak and need to be protected until marriage." Oh and also they want to have sex with Taylor Lautner, I guess.
Is it too obvious to point out Buffy? Or maybe the youngs have never seen it?
Hulu's got all kinds of Buffy on it!
(I'm a Willow man myself. Hacking + red hair = aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
Oh hey you two! (Partial to Drusilla myself.)
Um hi hello and Buffy?? *eyeroll and scoff at the youngs*
I KNOW ABOUT BUFFY. GOD.
YOU WERE BORN IN 1991 YOU KNOW NOTHING.
@ jolie:
If you put that on a t-shirt, I would wear the shit out of it.
Drusilla and Spike are hilarious. Logo is airing BUFFY at 11:00ish during the week (the whole series apparently, not just post-Willow coming out episodes). So cheery-making.
it's actually more convenient to forget that Season Four / "the Initiative" didn't happen.
@City_Dater: I'm gonna make one of those shirts and put it on my Balk dollie.
(in re: characters called Riley)
and keep Hush, Halloween (if only for the bunnies), and the trippy finale.
"BUNNIES! BUNNIES! IT MUST BE BUNNIES!"
It makes me feel so cliche and mainstream, but, yes, I do want to make the sex with young (but totally legal!) Mr. Lautner. He looks like he'd be a good cuddler afterwards.
Wasn't there a 'Dakota' in this one?
TEAM ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS
Interestingly enough, I have also encountered the name Riley frequently within the world of pornography, but as the name of straight female porn stars. There are some disturbing conclusions I could attempt to draw from this, but I'll just leave them unspoken.