Calvinist Theological Concepts in Order of How Much They Sound Like Horrifying Sex Acts

GOT YOUR DORT RIGHT HERE 10) Federal Vision

9) Presuppositional Apology

8) Unconditional Election

7) Infralapsarian reprobation

6) Monergism

5) Post-Redemptionist Amyraldism

4) Penal Substitution

3) Total Depravity

2) Canons of Dort

1) Double Imputation



Michael Brendan Dougherty is interested in a particular redemption, if you want to help him out.