27
"It's one of the most important and least expensive gifts you can give your children-or any loved one, for that matter." Can you guess what "it" is? I bet you can't!
Cynicism?
Vaccinations?
Hugs?
That leads to pertussis!
So you can curse your kid with a lame name, and then further curse her with a lame domain? Great!
A Magic 8 Ball?
This is one of my favorites:
http://www.emmy.com/
Baby's first issue of a Batman title.
Baby's first Balk dollie?
I don't think the meets the "least expensive" criterion as it costs THE RENDING OF SOULS.
I thought it was going to be a prostate exam. I don't know what that says about me.
It just says that you're "concerned."
I think.
That's retarded.
the ShakeWeight? Is it the ShakeWeight? I'm gonna guess ShakeWeight.
I bought a ShakeWeight purposely to embarrass my children.
I keep threatening to use it in front of their friends.
What's the point of having children if you can't haze them?
I APPROVE OF YOUR PARENTING.
I bought the .com of my daughter's name! Thinking ahead and all that good stuff.
Too bad that everyone will be using .sex or .xxx for everything by the time she's 20. So it's just a waste of money, I guess.
Think positive. That might not happen.
Maybe she'll just grow to hate her name (because you spelled it wrong!), change it when she's fourteen and that will be why it's a complete waste of your money.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be bloggers.
Dear Sirs —
My child, Theodore Howard, is heartbroken.
Sincerely,
- Edward Eawl
I chuckled at this! Out loud!
…A $60,000 shopping spree at FAO Schwartz? Does FAOS-NYC have a helicopter pad?
Sure. It's called the Apple Store.
"yuckozygote1651020312360.com"
-there! done!
It's great for building core strength.
The hazing, I mean. I don't know what the heck those Shakeweights are supposed to do.
Kwell?
A copy of "Jewish Jokes for the John" (amazon)
and/or
Mr.Boston's Official Bartender's Guide
(I mean, why have kids if you can't TALK to them)