33
Who Ate All The Pies? British Kids
Will the youth of Knifecrime Island soon be too rotund to take up the blade?
A shocking picture of the way children are gorging themselves on sweets, chocolates and snacks was revealed yesterday. They are getting fat almost twice as quickly as American youngsters as they eat double the amount of sugary and savoury treats…. More than one in three British children aged five to 13 are already overweight or obese. But that figure is predicted to soar at a rate of 2.1 per cent a year through to 2014, far higher than the 1.3 per cent annual rise expected for the U.S.
Fatter than American kids? How is that even possible? Oh, right, a diet full of junk food plus an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. Experts have repeatedly warned that the current crop of Malteser-masticating tubbies will be "the first generation to die before their parents as a consequence of obesity," but perhaps there is hope: Cocaine consumption is way, way up in Britain, with Scotland's particular love of sticking the stuff up noses helping the U.K. to become Europe's leading market for the drug. So it's probably okay if they pack on the extra pounds now. They'll be losing a bunch of weight in a few years.
I always felt that British kids looked like Major from Animal Farm.
they keep this up + add all the beer, fried meat pies, etc and we're looking at a potential legion of Mr.Creosotes.
Also children with English accents are creepy in horror films.
@Art: Let's only hope the dinner mint industry is lucrative over there.
But it's wafer-thin!
"One powerful myth concerning vegetarianism is that it is more 'something for women'. In a pioneering move to combat this misconception The Vegetarian Society recently launched the 'Men and Meat Campaign', complete with promotional hoardings carrying the words 'Who Ate All The Peas?', displayed within the 'traditionally male' environment of football grounds in Britain."
if they don't eat their meat, they can't have any pudding.
"The Vegetarian Society" sounds like something out of Wodehouse.
Blubber would be a good armor against stab wounds.
IT'S NOT A SUMO COSTUME. *produces Smirnoff Ice bottle from sleeve, swings*
@Face: This is an example of the Red Queen Theory of evolution, where predator and prey evolve in an endless arms race that never really gets anywhere. All this will do is force the stabbers to use longer blades.
Let's not forget about coke bloat.
Q: What is the opposite of Coke Zero?
Pepsi One can clapping?
I'm sorry, are you saying coke float? Why yes, I'd love one.
They are fatter than American kids because they have Cadbury Creme Egg candy bars that are available all year long. Start exporting that stuff to the US, and problem solved.
Obesity is the pinnacle of first world problems.
I thought that was existential crisis.
My kids and I will celebrate this win with a trip to Dairy Queen! USA! USA!
Say hi to Parker Posey for me.
That picture is making me giggle to no end.
It's Billy Bunter
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Bunter
I say, you fellows …
"Fat Owl of the Remove."
I may have to change my screen name.
It's the sedentary part that's doing, I ate piles of rubbish when I was a kid in England in the 70s but I was (still am) thin as a rake what with having to get up at dawn, walk twenty miles to the factory, shovel coal onto a pony all day etc. etc.
England, if your regular healthy food was more delicious, then the wee ones would not have to shove in "junk food."
Pigeon and kidney pie, boiled vegetables, Yorkshire, hog's, and black pudding, tripe of all stripes, I mean, come on!
/Adjusts bonnet, waves ivory walking stick in a threatening manner/
I'm concerned that you're tarring delicious black pudding with the (admittedly nasty) pigeon-and-kidney brush. I would destroy some blood sausage right about now.
What the bloody hell is pigeon and kidney pie? I think you made that up!
Does sound tasty though, could be on the menu of St. John, the best restaurant in London.
I kid, of course. I eat like a condemned woman while in London.
NETTLES AND SNAILS MMMMMMMMM
Apparently the British solution to childhood obesity is to give terrible, unappetizing names to food.
I thought Wiley ate all the pies?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XuADITYC2E
Since the Brits are the undisputed masters of lard-and-sugar-based snack treats, and incapable of cooking anything wholesome, they're doomed. Doomed to bags of meat-flavored chips (http://www.britishdelights.com/search_text_cw16.htm) and chocolate-covered Hob Nobs, washed down with pints of Wife Beater.