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Probably Coming Soon To The East Village: "The Unwanted Grope"
"The team behind Down the Hatch is opening the 13th Step at the former Telephone Bar on Second Avenue…. The term the 13th Step means: This term is used as a euphemism for inappropriate sexual advances by a member to a newcomer in AA (such as sponsors toward sponsees)."
— Man oh man, are there a lot of terrible bars opening in the East Village soon.
Well, the West Village has the White Swallow, so it balances out.
Dick's Bar was one block down on 12th.
The Balloon Knot isn't too bad, once you get over the location.
Haha! "A dive for those who seek adventure".
Obvs an establishment founded by my old boss, the perv.
Opportunistic, oh-so-clever pervs with good financing. How on earth would they ever get laid if they did not open bars?
If not for the bars, then sodium pentathol, I'm guessing.
On the plus side, one gets a lot of exercise trying to fend off their advances/running around the desk.
Helen Gurley-Brown? Is that you?
I'm just going to do my drinking at The First Step, which is what they call the The Thirteenth Step in Sexual Addicts Anonymous.
Psst- somebody needs to check her PM on the G.
Scrolly, do I really have to go back there? It makes me feel so treif.
Unless Le Awl has a PM page I'm not aware of!
Don't worry about it, it was no biggie and there are other ways.
Use our intermediary, STC.
I believe he's busy getting fingerprinted and booked- lewd and lascivious behavior. I will use the other old standby.
I'm out! There ain't a jail that can hold me!
Don't you people use email? Using STC to play "telephone" involves him showing you his "handset."
@STC: You managed a Shawshankesque excape, I see!
@BadU- we people do use email except when it's blocked by firewalls at work. Sorry I missed you this weekend, belurved.
@scrolly: I did go through a poopshoot this weekend. It changes a man.
@STC- Oh, I'm sure you did…hope your shots are up to date!
@Scrolly: you were missed, and we kept a seat for you, like the angel Elijah, if Elijah liked beer and the punk rawk.
@BadU: Awww, thanks!
@scrolly: It was kind of awkward when Unc tried to make out with your empty space at the end of the night.
@STC: BU knows it's the thought that counts with me.
I just hope you didn't traumatize the waiter whose leg you humped. #saythatsassault
THAT WAITER'S LEG WAS A SLUT AND ASKING FOR IT!
THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!
What an inappropriate name. No one's having sex in straight bars in NYC anymore.
Listicle without commentary: Top Inappropriate Bar Names, in order
10) The Palm and the Ass (logo: Donkey under a palm tree)
9) The Fifteenth Step (when an AA member bears the child of their sponsor against their will)
8) The Back Alley
7) The Wet Whistle
6) The Uninformed Consent
5) Bro's Corner (Nobody's allowed in without a striped shirt and an ICE)
4) The Upended Stool
3) Patrick O'Rapist's Irish Pub
2) The Easy Lay
1) Guzzles
Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag
@deep:
11. Insufficient Lube (low self-esteemed ladies drink free every Tuesday!)
12. Roofie O'Flannagan's Pub (if you can remember where it's located)
The best bar name ever is the Magnificent Jewess, a pulque bar in Mexico. It no longer exists, sadly.
Phlegmie's
Bedbugs 'n Brew
I hope they didn't take down your statue, too!
(that was at Booksy, aka Magnificent Jewess)
Waaaay before my time.
The Cock n'Balls (fried chicken and skeeball)
Dee You Eye's
Perhaps that'll be the LA branch of The 13th Step!
Leave your SCRAM bracelet at the door!
A bar full of people like Lila from Dexter? Sounds like every bar in the East Vilage, actually.