26
Pretty Actress Performs Black Ops Tabloid PR for TV Show's Return
Last night, attractive 32-year-old TV starlet ____ ____ allegedly ran her Range Rover into three parked cars and fled the scene on foot, only to soon return, while police were investigating. The event occurred in the city of Los ____. The starlet, who never has celebrity gossip tabloid run-ins, and who was said to be (oddly) not intoxicated at the time of the "event," is performing the first wave of advance press for season four of her television show, ____ ____, which returns July 25.
SMH
YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS WEAK.
well, i guess she felt weird about taking another taxi.
aw, I haven't hit up the D-Listed slutpages in forever!
So Matthew Weiner is now making his actresses undergo this like extreme method acting program?
I hear Lindsay exhaling a sigh of relief.
MAD libs, haha. I get it.
Highly derivative of the time Karen Black skywrote "OH FUUUUUUUU—" over Salt Lake City just prior to the release of Airport 1975.
Well this is a proud moment: Truly I have NO CLUE who you're talking about!
YAY!
Well, she can't drive and she can't host SNL. We should take her out back and shoot her.
No, that's inappropriate. We should cast her in Transformers 3.
Wait, we're talking about Betty White, right?
Gatos. It's Los Gatos, right?
Has to be Los Alamos. Clearly this starlet doubles as a rocket scientist.
and/or mutant.
Gah! Thanks for making me have to visit the pages of TMZ to find out…
May I?
"If you have an intense desire to learn her identity, you won't have to wait until the first of the year: her show returns on July 25."
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
July 25th… the feast of Saint Cucuphas, patron saint of hunchbacks and petty thieves… Is it Winona Ryder?!
@deepomega I enjoyed that.
Oh excellent! It's back on July 25?
Grace Kelly?
*pulls out 3 blue cards and fat marker*
Dumb Dora
del Rio ("¡Heeeeeeey, Macarena!")
Match Game '74
Can you be 32 and still be a "starlet"?
No. No, you can't.
It was because her hands went numb, right?
Oh c'mon, we all know that driving while intoxicated was the norm in the early 60s. Besides which, the DM says she walked (3 blocks) back to her apartment, called the police, and walked back to the scene.
No love from me for JJ, but this was not a LiLo kind of crash.