'New York Post' Used As Credential For Oil Spill Expertise
A young Long Island genius took her oil-spill fix down to the Gulf yesterday, cornering a BP executive at a cleanup staging area and knocking his socks off during a half-hour powwow.
"Wow, that's very impressive," Dave Golson, BP's operations director for eastern Louisiana, said after hearing Alia Sabur's pitch. "It's something we should give serious consideration."
The paper also notes that the BP exec was prepared to dismiss the young genius, but "after she showed him a Wednesday edition of The Post, which contained a schematic of her proposal, he reconsidered."
I wonder. Do you think future generations will look back at this era as the point in human history where the solutions to our problems became impossibly complex while, simultaneously, the consistent and powerful strain of anti-intellectualism foisted on an already suspicious society in an attempt to discredit ideas which might prove detrimental to the interests of large corporations helped encourage the belief that everyone is an expert and an amateur opinion is just as valid as a trained one, and these two developments finally intersected to create a world where "Tell us: How would you fix the oil spill?"-type polls became the norm? Actually, I don't wonder at all. We've got one or two more generations left and then the ride's over.









Christ.
BUT WHAT IF SHE'S RIGHT?
I am so getting down there RIGHT NOW with my Brawndo-based solution. It's got electrolytes.
What about Brawny paper towels? They'll absorb anything and just keep going. Masculine, too.
But will Brawndo work in all that toilet water?
"or two"? you optimist.
Seriously. The Mayan Apocalypse is gonna get us all way before then.
I will not submit to some Pagan, Leftist South American Apocalypse! Jesus is coming for me in his Cadillac!
Don't worry, Goons. Our Lord and Savior's Cadillocalyse is scheduled for the week before.
@HG: Ha!
Seriously though, I bet Jesus has such a pimped out ride.
Article continues: "Then she showed Dave Golson the Thursday edition of the Post, and they had a good chuckle at the Mallard Fillmore comic. Also, fuck Mort Zuckerman."
Remember when Superman stopped nuclear war by slinging all the nuclear warheads into the sun? Good times. Well, make way for Nuclear Man!
"Sad….we are going to destroy ourselves."
- My Dad, this morning
♫the best part of waking up♫
Well, wait. The "Long Island genius" is like 21 and already almost has a PhD. She's apparently super-smart and has solved complicated mathematical problems? So I think perhaps this is not as much "downfall of society" as you may think.
"Complicated mathematical problems" = proper mix of Jager and Bomb.
Optimal liters of self-tanning lotion per square foot.
@Gef: Zero. Haven't you heard, THAT SHIT WILL KILL YOU.
Some people mistakenly think an air mattress is the optimum sealant solution in this situation. Only a few geniuses know tire rubber is the only go-to material in freezing temperatures at 5000 pounds of pressure a square inch.
Nice of the Post to link to the schematic.
I like diagrams.
The solution to our problem is not complex at all. It consists, in fact, of two words: Kevin. Costner.
http://www.ecorazzi.com/2010/06/02/costners-oil-spill-weapon-to-get-first-open-water-test/
No. Future generations will still be trying to decipher sentence two of that last paragraph (and they will have the leisure time to do so because they will be so much better off than we are).
you're funny.
Really. That composition just keeps rotating round and round in my head making little tinkly sounds like a music box, going nowhere, but keeping me entranced.