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A fancy sword that had been stolen from council offices in London's Borough of Bromley escaped the fate of so many knives on Knifecrime Island-being melted down and turned into stadiums-when authorities realized it was too special to be any old blade. The sword, which had been "handed in during the Met's knife crime Operation Blunt campaign in February last year along with hundreds of other knives," will hopefully spend the rest of its days hanging on a wall somewhere as a tribute to Britain's love of knifery.
Operation Dull, spearheaded by Lt.Colonel Nicks.
Wait. We're supposed to be leaving a space between "knife" and "crime"?
That's just the Northern Accent being written out.
All my life I've been searching for a way to mock people getting seriously injured and/or killed and the circumstances surrounding poverty in a way that's socially acceptable by cosmopolitan liberal standards without being accused of being a number of unseemly "-ist" terms, and finally I have found it. Knifecrime Island was sitting right there in front of me all along! Thank you, The Awl for this valuable service to humanity.
Knifecrime Island is my favorite comedy subject! You guys should increase the Knifecrime Island output by at least 100%. Maybe hire an additional person just for this reason?
Oh, I think they're a Steaknife ahead of you!
"Knifery" BONUS! I call intern at least!
they're not referred to as "interns." they're referred to as "knaves."
I keep my knives in a drawer, but I don't see why we can't have a knife cabinet.
Tolkienesque!