Humans, It Is Urgent That You Stop Whatever It Is That You're Doing And Watch This Video Immediately

disregardThere was recently an article posted in this space alerting you to another article about how increased use of computer technology is supposedly be changing your ability to focus. If you were paying attention, which you probably weren’t, you may have read that University of California neuroscientist Adam Gazzaley thinks, “We are exposing our brains to an environment and asking them to do things we weren’t necessarily evolved to do. We know already there are consequences.” Or that Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse and one of the world’s leading brain scientists, agrees, saying, “The technology is rewiring our brains.” NEW ALERT: in the unlikely event that you were in fact paying attention, DISREGARD PREVIOUS COMMUNICATION. The second article cited above is 3639 words long. That is 3,499 more characters than you have been programed to process, not even counting punctuation marks. HA! HA! HA! To avoid overload, CLOSE TAB and watch this video.

THERE. Don’t you feel better now? You should. That saxophone solo was programmed using state-of-the-art 1970s technology to increase the flow of dopamine to the human cerebral cortex. PACIFY YOURSELVES WITH LOU GRAMM, MEATBAGS. END COMMUNICATION!