42
How To Speak English
This is a couple of weeks old, but as linguistic prescription seems to be the theme of the day, we might as well go with it: British comedian (and recent mugging victim) David Mitchell provides some instruction of proper usage. (If you are unfamiliar with Mitchell, he is one of the most interesting comedians working today. Co-star of the popular British sitcom "Peep Show" with his comedy partner Robert Webb, he is also responsible for "That Mitchell and Webb Look," which can be seen on BBC America. I'm including my favorite skit from the show below as a bonus.) If you enjoy this, here's the channel for "David Mitchell's Soap Box." [Via]
I'm a lover of "That Mitchell and Webb Look".
Isn't the key to whether one could or could not care less whether one wants to be literal or sarcastic?
*is*
No matter what, it's very unique.
"Inflatable Hover Fort"….HA!
My father says, "I just assume [...]" for "I'd just as soon [...]" and it drives me apeshit.
My mother-in-law says "mushroon." I grind my teeth and say nothing for the sake of family unity.
That is indeed the best skit… though several of the Sir Digby Chicken Caesar episodes are close.
No, the best skit is not this, but this.
Mmmm, questionable
This one ain't bad either
Fanny. Stupid Fanny.
But This is too clever. And the nazi one.. maybe i've just seen it too many times.
C'mon, Sir Digby takes the cake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QACSo5xk3dE
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLmmr52p410&feature=related
Digby is also a winner. They are mostly winners. Odd that this is the 2nd Sketch comedy debate I've had today (1st being with coworkers about how The Story of Everest is the most brilliant Mr Show skit, vs. the Pre-Taped Call in Show and Monk Camp.
the Sir Digby series is admittedly pretty great, with the CrustyPunk/Mischievous Drunken Bro's spin on a day's events!
The best Mitchell & Webb Look skit is Numberwang FYI.
While I heartily endorse both of his arguments here – "I could care less" has been a pet peeve of mine for a while – I have to agree with Bryan Garner: the oily residents of Knifecrime Island have been stabbing at the heart of proper usage for centuries now.
http://www.allbusiness.com/north-america/united-states-texas/1111593-1.html
A lot of nerve coming from a Brit. I used to edit their copy and now they edit mine and yes sir, that truly is some bonehead comma stuff the Brits do. And yet the punctuation is nothing next to some profoundly retarded usage solecisms. For example, and here is a thing I will bet you: If you find 10 examples of people writing "reigns" when they mean "reins," eight of those examples will come from K.C. Island including Scotland.
I may not speak the Queen's English but at least my teeth are straight.
Oh look, a joke about teeth in a thread about the English. How novel!
Fair game after speaking 'Merican has been throttled.
London, look on the bright side, nobody's mentioned the bisexual thing.
A friend writes: "National characteristics are not easy to pin down, and when pinned down they often turn out to be trivialities or seem to have no connexion with one another. Spaniards are cruel to animals, Italians can do nothing without making a deafening noise, the Chinese are addicted to gambling. Obviously such things don't matter in themselves. Nevertheless, nothing is causeless, and even the fact that Englishmen have bad teeth can tell something about the realities of English life.
I thought the bad teeth thing was the human body rebelling against having to eat such terrible food.
Being weird and crooked is a tooth's way of going on strike, basically.
I wish he had brought up anywaysssssssssss. Worse is when it's said rather than written…the spoken ess pronounced like a zed at the end of that word is like a bumblebee fartbuzzing right in front of my face constantly. Never anyways. For the love of god. Anyway.
whatevzzzzzz
but.. but… is "I could care less" an American-ism or just a general misspeaking? I am a red blooded American and I say I couldn't care less.
I concede on hold down the fort, though. Now whenever I hear that I will think it sounds odd.. like once you learn that "eat your cake and have it too" makes more sense, the reverse doesn't sound right.
Yeah, the reverse doesn't make a lot of sense…i mean, everyone can HAVE cake and then also EAT it. The order of that doesn't reveal the meaning of the phrase at all. As a kid, I never made sense of it because if I have cake, why on earth can't I eat it? Isn't that the point of cake? But when you've already eaten the cake you can't also have cake. It's gone. You ate it. Now that makes sense.
Yes, this drives me nuts constantly. It's been keeping me up at night actually. Because why would you even have cake if not to eat it?!?!
As a kid, I conflated "have your cake and eat it too" with the Marie Antoinette cake-eating thing, and so it still has a vague mistaken connotation of being able to live even after your head's been chopped off.
Sigh, perhaps this is all just a testament to our collective desensitization to risk…
Mollycule, "doing nothing until our heads have actually been cut off" is from a different English comedy series.
I thought it was a diet thing.
That's numberwang
No, that's wangernumb!
It's time for you to both face the wordwangerator. Let's rotate the board!
Peep Show is my newest, most favorite discovery. LOVES.
That wasn't amusing. This is the next great thing in comedy?
All he can come up with is "I couldn't care less" is correct usage? Anyone with a basic education – on either side of the pond – knows that.
As for "Hold the fort," hmm. I spent the first two decades of my life speaking British English and the next three speaking American English. I have NEVER heard the expression "Hold the fort." It's always been "hold down the fort," as nonsensical as it may be, and on both sides of the pond too.
(1) "I could care less." Seriously? In 2010? Wow. Okay.This joke is both fresh and original. I can't wait to hear this guy's take on airplane peanuts.
(2) "Hold the fort." While this phrase originated in the U.S., it's actually as popular — possibly more so — in the U.K. as it is here, so while unfunny clueless Englishman is pointing the finger at us stupid Yanks, he might want to uncurl the three fingers pointing back at his own country. (Memo to David Mitchell: the "pointing a finger at you/three pointing back at me" expression is also completely fresh and original. Please feel free to use it to spice up your material.)
Who are the ad wizards who came up with unfunny clueless Englishman's shtick?
I'm glad I ran across this entry, because I was just talking to a friend yesterday, while watching a British TV comedy, about how weirdly cheesy and not-funny English humor seems to be. It's not that we don't get the jokes, it's that most of the jokes are the kind of thing we stopped laughing at by the time we were twelve. I mean it's seriously like their entire modern culture is based on a joke book left behind by an American tourist in 1973.
But… but… DON'T MENTION THE WAR!
In spite of the fact that "couldn't care less" and "hold down the fort" aren't actually Americanisms I enjoyed this and was greatly relieved by his armistice on the rest of it. That's enough for me, not talking about Herbs and Fillets.
"could care less"