18
England Pollutes! (With Hideous Last-Place Eurovision Finish)
As if we needed one more reason to hate England and their current ruling monarch, the Empress of British Petroleum! They also inflicted 19-year-old Josh Dubovie on the Eurovision Song Contest, the most important global cultural event ever. He finished in… last place. Reasonably. Germany's unexpected first place though… Hmm. Lena Meyer-Landrut. Basically, Simon Cowell would stab her.
It's really hard to take Eurovision seriously (haha I know, this sentence should stop here) when this is the first and last place and they're actually not that different.
Still better than Ireland's entry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg
Ah go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on…
-Writhes in agony as if stabbed by a thousand taschenmesser
Every continental Euro I have ever known has shit for musical abilities. The best they can ever do is a halfway decent mimic of pre-existing (sorry Balk) sounds. The worst part is that they are so musically disinclined that they don't know they suck. Sorry to any and all continental Euros on this site. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong. Maybe I am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9whehyybLqU
Ales klar, der Komissar?
@Karen: Shit I forgot about Falco too.
WHY DO MY ABSURD UNIVERSAL DECLARATIONS ALWAYS END UP BACKFIRING ON ME?
WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
A broad brush has a tendency to backsplatter.
This does hold generally, though. Never turn on the radio when you are stuck on the Peripherique. Whatever charm France was able to hold onto after you encountered the Peripherique will come under serious scrutiny.
@deep: Casting a wide net might pull in a narwhal or two.
In general, though, you're pretty right on. Exhibit A: Plastic Bertrand.
That is only because he is no Elton Motello: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQlsfsypBi8
Ke$ha
Ke$ha ripped off Uffie, who is French.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d2mnuhJahU&feature=related
Miss u Serge Gainsbourg.
Also very true. Europe: Land of Contrasts.
So many ballads this year! I listened to the first minute of every entry on YouTube, waiting for the beat to drop. 60% of the time, it never happened.
And I'm still bummed that the Lithuanians didn't even make it to the final: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab9C0klYilw
This year was actually pretty light on the ballads.
I think the German and Turkish entries were very nearly songs and deserved to come in 1st and 2d.