What We Talk About When We Talk About Coming
Each generation needs to learn anew the lessons previously inculcated upon their predecessors, so it perhaps in the spirit of public service for the youth of that that ladysite The Gloss offers up this guide to blowjob etiquette. The moral is simplicity itself: When the receiver becomes aware that he is soon to express his pleasure in the performer's face, it is courteous that he should so indicate. The Emily Post of hummers suggests uttering a simple phrase such as "I'm going to come," or "I'm about to come," but I've found that singing a sped-up version of the chorus to Peter Gabriel's "Here Comes The Flood" is just as effective (although for some reason it does not result in many repeat performances). And don't forget to leave a tip on your way out, just to show your appreciation. Now you know!
What do Guido experts have to say on the subject?
"What did you think was going to happen?"
"Not THAT!"
More pressing question – where does TheAwl's style guide stand on coming v. cumming?
dearest me. i'm getting ready to e.e. cummings.
What settles this orthographical question is, of course, grammar. If you use the strong praeterite "came," then you are clearly implying that this word does not have a separate origin from the word that means "arrive," and so the present tense has got to be "come." If you want to spell it the porn way, then you really ought to use the weak praeterite form "cummed," which, yuck. Sticky sounding! The ghost of William Safire appeared to me in a dream and told me this.
Also, I live near the intersection of Seaman and Cumming, so there.
What is it with men and high maintenance women?
I like aAhbpwahxlb*szdyuedcbyccuqadxuugluuuu……Grdskjjwd[skbxb$kxbuqd……sgugwww………..xqz….x
Oh, so THAT'S what Choire is saying?
Isn't it kind of, er, obvious?
Beware the stealthgasm!
Yeah, in more ways than one.
it BURNS.
"HOW TO GIVE A GODDAMN BLOWJOB!"
See also:
-Steak
-Deep Fried Turkey
-Should You Swallow? IT DOESN'T MATTER!
Picture this. Berlin 2001. I was 23. I went to an under-26 underwear party at a gay bar. In the catacomb-like basement, guys were waiting around for something to happen. So I pulled my dick out.
A guy started servicing me, with a couple others "assisting." As I got closer, I realized I had to give warning. English might not work? No matter: I’d seen German porn before. “Ich komme,’ ich sagte. “Ich komme gleich!”
The guy didn’t pull away. It was kind of … copious. Dude was gulping and gasping. To this day, I can only hope my pronunciation was OK!
Most disturbing line: …under-26 underwear party.
Putting the "hose" in "Leiderhosen," eh?
I was hoping “copious” would win that.
This sounds like Sophia Petrillo slash fiction.
I find a series of progressively louder grunts translates well.
What? No air horn?
siren.gif
siren.gif wins. Handily.
Having reread my statement, I have to apologize. It’s just too gross. But BadUncle’s wordplay almost makes it all worth it.
There ought to be a German word for akdjklsdfjkl;sdfj
I thought only lepers had to leave a tip.
Lepers and Moils.
i have found this to be a touchy issue with the women who have endeavored to bless me with such attention. for the most part their efforts were appreciated, but weren't noteworthy. some were downright bad. only a few seemed to really enjoy it. the girl who exhibits genuine joy from sexual contact is the one for me, regardless of technique. however, most all seemed to think they were pretty good at it. there was a moment, a fleeting moment, when i almost said 'sweetie, that's not a barbecued rib, it's a penis' but decided to finish the evening in peace.
That's funny, I like to sing "In Your Eyes" – which also does not result in many repeat performances.
the light, the heat? you must have magical semen.
I like to hum The Undertones' "It's Gonna Happen".
While I work, I mean. Oh IT'S GONNA.
Nor does "Don't Give Up," I imagine, but then it's hard to sing both parts.
I am so glad we've opened the doors for commenters' fellatiographies.
What a bunch of blow-hards.
I prefer to pull it out just before climax and come all over his face. Your welcome!
Another acceptable alternative is for the man to shout, "Release the kraken!"
That's what I like to do anyway. But I'm sure I"m not the only one ….
… right?
Really Hip?
'Release The Kraken!' (for me, anyway) is reserved for just 'whipping it out'.
I like to say, "Fashion, sexy, personality,
maturity. What isWait and see, from here to start".
I dunno, the first sentence of that article is so frightfully wrong that I am not sure I can continue.