These Guys Finally Figured Out How To Wear Sweatpants And Attract Women At The Same Time

Above, some of this nation’s young men show off their attempt to start a craze about a dance called the “dick slang,” in which men try to show off the sizes of their packages through the process of shaking their hips around while wearing sweatpants, basketball shorts, or other types of pants made of close-fitting cotton.

Why “Slang”? It would seem to be because it’s a sort of past-tense version of the verb “sling,” which, OK, sure.

A few months back, these guys tried to brand themselves as the Twerk Kingz, which involved them sporting similar lower-body coverings while spotlighting the way their asses moved. Guess they figured that showing off their packages would be more “effective” at whatever they were trying to get across, or at least garner more interesting questions on Formspring? (Dear God, perhaps their collective change in direction was inspired by the perpetually disheveled pop star Ke$ha’s order to “just show [her] where your dick’s at.”) It almost makes you long for the subtlety of Peer Pressure’s ottoman-humping tribute to Pretty Ricky.